Tag: Cindy Jacobs

If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.

God Gives Lady Gift Of Prophecy To Save The World, Predict How Movies End

Spoiler alert: These people are insufferable. In a recent video (sadly not embeddable), self-proclaimed Christian "prophets" Rebecca Greenwood and traditional straight-married couple Cindy and Mike Jacobs compared notes on how exactly their God-given gifts of prophecy work. It was pretty impressive, and we...
Can you say for sure that Don't Ask Don't Tell *didn't* cause freak bird deaths in Arkansas?

Morning Maddow: Meet The Prophet Lady From Bobby Jindal’s Prayer-A-Palooza

Rachel Maddow Show led off Friday's show with an unforgettable look at Cindy Jacobs, the self-proclaimed Texas prophet who God regularly warns about any number of tragedies -- mass shootings, political coups, and so on -- which she then...

Derp Roundup: Thanks For Keeping America Free, Ted Nugent!

It's a special 5th of July Derp Roundup, bringing you all the Red White and Blue idiocy we could scrape off our browser tabs. Please consume responsibly, and we hope that your pets are finally recovering from the barrage. Your...

Oklahoma Preacher Accidentally Flooded Four States When He Cast Out All Those Demons

Pastor John Benefiel of Oklahoma City's "Church on the Rock" revealed, in a webcast with Mike and Cindy Jacobs, that he and another pastor, Chuck Pierce, prayed so hard and cast out so many demons in 2007 that they...

Nice Lady Prophet Explains How Her 6-Year-Old’s Tummy Ache Stopped God From Assassinating Ronald Reagan

Right here is some actual evidence of the power of prayer, so all you atheists just shut up. Cindy Jacobs, a self-proclaimed "respected prophet" who a few years ago repented for all the lesbians and their "girl-on-girl kissing," told...

Jeebus Lady Cindy Jacobs Repents For All Lesbians, Cleanses Craigslist

Your Wonkette reporter of The Homosexuals is back bearing good news, or as they like to call it in church, "a new gospel": All of the world's lesbians have been fully repented for! This happened last week, in Sacramento, at...