Tag: CIA

Donald Trump Trying To Build His Own Secret, Privatized CIA. What Could Go Right?

Trump's trying to build his own secret Team America to run around and kidnap terrorists by using Iraq War and Iran-Contra rejects.

Trump Bigger Than Jesus! Wonkagenda For Fri., Dec. 1, 2017

GOP money fuckery, Trump lights a tree, and Walmart apologizes for trying to kill journalists. Your morning news brief.

How Many Former Intel Chiefs Called Trump Putin’s Buttboy This Weekend? ALL OF THEM, KATIE

Any fucking idiot can tell Trump is compromised by Putin, FOR SOME REASON.
P.S. They ARE crackpots

Trump Sends Crazy Uncle Bill To Tell CIA How Chemtrails Hacked Our Election

There seem to be decomposing squirrel carcasses inside the president's brain, and they are mating.

Bless This InfoWars Idiot’s Fucking Heart, As He Just Found Out Hitler NEVER DIED!

Trump must immediately appoint a special counsel to see if Hitler helped Hillary do uraniums to Russia.

Trump Bitches At Gold Star Families. Again. Wonkagenda for Oct. 23, 2017

Trump insults Gold Star families (again), Republicans are shoving the Trump Taxes down our throats, and John McCain insults rich draft dodgers with foot problems. Your morning news brief.

Awful Week Partly Saved By Barack Obama! Wonkagenda for Oct. 20, 2017

Why the hell are we in Niger, the Senate tries to sneak in the Trump Taxes, and OBAMA'S BACK! Your morning news brief.

Trump-Russia Dumbass Carter Page Saying The Quiet Parts Loud Again, Bless His Stupid Heart

He just KNOWS the Deep State is going to force him to commit perjury before the Senate Intel Committee!

Wah Trump Is The Real Hurricane Victim, Waaaah. Wonkagenda For Mon., Oct. 9, 2017

FEMA loses the plot. How's about Congressman Blackwater, Wyoming? And Mike Pence fakes it. Your morning news brief.

Robert Mueller And Trump-Russia Dossier Spy Boyfriends Now, JUST LIKE WONKETTE SAID

Christopher Steele is a very popular boy!
He gets cranky if there's no pudding

Let’s Play Fuck/Marry/Kill/Tickle/Finger/Dick-Punch With The Trump Cabinet!

Is Rex Tillerson about to get YOU'RE FIRED? John Kelly? SOMEBODY ELSE? Who can even fucking say.

Don’t Come Around Here No More. Wonkagenda For Tues., Oct. 3, 2017

Your morning news brief will talk about everything, and is not changing the subject.

Trump Calls Terrorists ‘Losers,’ Saves World. Wonkagenda For Fri., Sept. 15, 2017

A terror attack in London, racial tensions boiling in St. Louis, and Facebook sells ads for Nazis. Your morning news brief.

Mike Pompeo Running CIA From Warm, Safe Office Inside Donald Trump’s Butt

BREAKING NEWS: Mike Pompeo is REALLY FUCKING BAD at his job.

Ryan Zinke Wants To Kill All The Cute Critters. Wonkagenda For Fri., Aug. 25, 2017

Ryan Zinke wants to open up national monuments, Trump wants to shut down the government, and MORE Texas gerrymandering. Your morning news brief!