Things have gotten too comfortable between America and America’s husband, sensitive-seeming ginger Chuck Todd. He does not even cover his nose when he sneezes anymore, like a gross person. This is disgusting, as Kathleen Sebelius publicly explains for a good minute. Sneeze like you used to sneeze, Chuck.

Here’s your favorite Chuck Todd asking old Chuck Grassley a very good question, today: If you get everything you want in a health care bill, and you think it is a good bill for the American health care system, but only three or four Republicans will ever go for this bill because THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT THE POLITICS OF KILLING OBAMA, would you then vote against it? Your own gutted co-op-loving bill that you wrote? Grassley responds with a hearty “YOU BET I WOULD VOTE AGAINST IT!” And so the good-faith bipartisan negotiations go. [MSNBC via Ezra Klein]

Here we have excerpted the traditional “red meat” portion of a Barack Obama press conference, in which we hear from all three network news correspondents, consecutively. Why does Obama cave to John McCain and Lindsey Graham and hate Iranian people and lie about other things such as health and money care? Health care and money? Health care and money care and Iran and John McCain and queers? MORE »

A long time ago, American treasure Tim Russert died, leaving an opening at America’s most important teevee chat program, Meet the Press. Goateed numbers nerd Chuck Todd was maybe going to take over, because why not, but then the Higher Ups at GE/NBC decided David Gregory should be the new host, because David Gregory can dance and dance, on teevee, which is the whole point of Meet the Press. MORE »

So ha ha, funny story: Robert Gibbs, he has this podium that he stands behind during press conferences, and it can be raised and lowered with no apparent effort, much like a levitating hippie. The simple mechanical act is enough to make Chuck Todd squeal with glee. The Washington press corps has not experienced such a giney-tickling thrill since the Jonas brothers played. [YouTube]

Aww, Chuck Todd accepted the most frustrating job in media — White House correspondent — only to discover that it is the most frustrating job in media: “Obviously, I’m one of the newbies here in the White House press corps so maybe I’m unfamiliar with the ways of how this place works. I have to say, nothing is more frustrating than covering an an actual event here at the White House if you at all believe in anything remotely having to do with the First Amendment.” Usually this type of article — “Employed journalists covering the presidency whine about how much trouble they have getting information” — causes migraines, but Chuck Todd’s such a nice guy, and we’re sorry that he has such a sad. Why won’t the White House be nice to Chuck Todd? [First Read]

O, reading! Lots of things relating to the books you read and the people who write them this week, right here in DC. Let’s see: there’s Chuck Todd, talking about Barry (who else, right?), and lots of South America-themed stuff mostly about revolutions and also drugs, and two equally despicable tales of Cheneys “Mamah” and “Dick,” who had casual sex with Frank Lloyd Wright/died in a fire and committed vague and tangible evils, respectively. MORE »

• CHUCK TODD, MODERN NOSTRADAMUS: Your editor often braves the terrifying hell-beasts at the top of MSNBC’s First Read because its authors really do have a way of putting a narrative frame around the news of the day. Yesterday we found an intriguing set of bullet points about Tom Daschle, concluding with this prediction: “The Rule of Three will now kick in: No other Obama appointee who has a tax problem will survive, period.” And today, wallah! Obama’s nominee for Chief Performance Officer has to withdraw her name from consideration. No news yet on the whys but it seems safe to assume this has something to do with “a tax lien placed on her house by the D.C government because of a failure to pay unemployment taxes on household help.” The authors of First Read are secretly Rahm Emanuel, David Axelrod, and Valerie Jarrett. [Washington Post]

• CHUCK TODD TO DO MOST THINGS FOR NBC NEWS: Whoa hey it’s press release day at your Wonkette! “NBC News announced today that Chuck Todd has been named Chief White House correspondent,” NBC News announced in a press release. He will remain NBC News Political Director and will also become a regular contributor to Meet The Press, with David Gregory, who used to be Chief White House correspondent. Chuck Todd, everyone! [Sigh]. We would pay millions of dollars just to watch Chuck Todd describe Lake County, Indiana precinct returns at midnight one more time.

Charming hairfaced news-geek Lothario Chuck Todd said all sorts of amazing things on Hardball last night about how John McCain and Sarah Palin appear to despise each other, and how their campaign staff are all tired and annoyed and full of hate for the world, and so on. It was wondrously candid! (Chuck Todd is in the tank, obviously.) Of course this morning the blog he co-authors had to run an unattributed sort-of retraction. Full text after the jump. MORE »

After demonstrating her ability to flub an interview with literally anyone, including third graders, Sarah Palin made sure she had some backup in her talk with NBC’s Brian Williams. She took along her running mate, John McCain! But still, when Williams asked her, “What, in your mind, is a ‘precondition’?” as it pertained to meeting with dictators, she went all woogly about those who would seek to destroy America, blah blah blah. In other words, SHOCKER, she does not know what a precondition is. MORE »