Our dear friends in the Senate Finance Committee have voted down the Schumer/Cantwell “less cool but still cool” public option amendment as well, 13-10 (Dems voting no: Baucus, Conrad, Lincoln), so there will officially (we think?) not be a public option in the Senate Finance Committee bill. SURPRISE. MORE »

• ROCKEFELLER’S PUBLIC OPTION GOES DOWN: It’s “public option amendment day” in the Senate Finance Committee’s markup of the evil Baucus Bill, and oh look at this, Jay Rockefeller’s amendment for a strong public option with reimbursement rates tied to those of Medicare… is dead. It was voted down 15-8. Democrats voting no: Baucus, Carper, Conrad, Lincoln, Nelson. Now they’re taking up Chuck Schumer’s amendment, which isn’t as strong, but still: public option! [Washington Post]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
It’s absolutely true that politicians are, by and large, hideously ugly. So, if you’re going to get into the political cartooning game, you’re going to have to learn to enjoy inking the minute details of the sagging face-flesh, the terrible combovers, the faces ravaged by decades-old acne scars, the paunches ill-contained by aspirationally sized pants. Yet once cartoonists go down this road, they might find themselves actually enjoying it, like a professional dominatrix who got into the biz for money and finds herself unable to put down the whip in her off hours. (This sometimes happens! I saw it in, uh, a movie.) Anyway, drawing Karl Rove’s second chin no longer has any appeal for these depraved freak-loving artists! In this week’s Cartoon Violence, you’ll see what lies at the end of this very dark path. MORE »

Anybody in possession of a telephone, which is to say, 105 percent of all Americans, have been harrassed to death by these stupid idiot robots who call you up about your expiring car warranty, even if you don’t have a car. Well, they made the mistake of messing with Chuck Schumer, a very nasty man, who sicced the FTC on them. If only they’d called Schumer months ago when your editor was getting oh five or six of these fucking things a day, they would already have been prosecuted for War Crimes. MORE »

Arkansas state Sen. Kim Hendren (Wingnut) wants to be a real-life senator in Washington, so he described Chuck Schumer to some local wingnut group as “that Jew.” But he didn’t mean anything by it! Schumer’s a Jew, after all. Just making note of the facts! “I ought not to have referred to it at all,” Hendren told the AP. “When I referred to him as Jewish, it wasn’t because I don’t like Jewish people. I shouldn’t have gotten into this Jewish business because it distracts from the issue.” Well said! [New York Daily News]

OR NOT: “Sen. Charles Schumer, a New York Democrat, said on Thursday that some experts think creating a ‘bad bank’ to buy toxic assets could require as much as $4 trillion.” These experts include Charles Schumer’s major donors on Wall Street, as well as Charles Schumer’s major donors on Wall Street. It’s kind of hilarious that this guy is more or less the most corrupt politician in America, at least according to the notational value of deals in imaginary money he brokers, but, well, he’s a character! [Reuters]

• The only people that like Obama at all anymore are a bunch of lazy illegals who wish they had jobs, and who, instead of just getting a job at a car plant or a Sam Goody (Not Bankrupt Yet! ™), hope that Obama can “create” jobs. Right. [RedState]
• Chuck Schumer will reprogram his new intern, Kirsten Gillibrand, as he pleases. He will start with her, hmm let’s see, political identifications and belief system. That should do it. [Ben Smith]
• About a dozen House Republicans are headed to Rahm Emanuel’s house tonight. House Republicans are known for their love of Kosher food. [CNN Political Ticker]
• When Obama took over Whitehouse.gov, he has prevented presidential historians from accessing such information of import as a video of First Dog Barney scurrying around Michael Phelps to the tune of “Ripple.” This is not change.gov we can believe in. [Daily Kos]
• Obama is secretly planning on giving the entirety of the stimulus bill to his old friends The ACORNs. [The Corner]

Mitch McConnell has had a few iffy polls in the last few weeks for his Senate re-election bid in Kentucky, so now he’s cold rampin’ up the attacks on his Democratic opponent, “Lunsford.” In this ad, he hammers Lunsford by… uhh… calling Chuck Schumer a filthy Jew for a full minute. Sure, why not? [YouTube]

While Hillary Clinton remains hidden in a secret Polynesian island bunker, where she drinks single malt scotch and eats artichoke hearts prepared by a cadre of Gypsy slaves all day long, she is still somehow doing her job as a fake Senator. Today she, along with fellow New York Senator Chuck Schumer and some Congressman, introduced an act of legislation to name U.S. Route 20A — in Buffalo — the “Timothy J. Russert Highway.” Because Tim Russert would have done the same thing. MORE »

Democratic Senators Chuck Schumer (NY) and Dick Durbin (IL)–a Clinton and an Obama supporter, respectively–are what D.C. insiders call “roommates.” They sparred like Montagues and Capulets on Meet the Press yesterday, and in the end they admitted that Dick was the one who makes the bed back at home. At least the Republicans have the decency to conduct this sort of behavior in the privacy of their own public bathroom stalls. [Meet the Press]

High on the list of things I don’t in any way give a shit about is the use of steroids in baseball, or any other sport, or, really, sports at all — beyond having something look at when I’m sitting alone at a bar, and the bartender won’t talk to me anymore because I might have asked her something about carpet and/or drapes. It follows then, that I don’t think investigating the use of steroids or other “performance enhancing drugs” is a good use of Congress’ time or taxpayer dollars or C-SPAN airtime, or even the kilobytes required to store this post. MORE »