chuck schumer

It would be so exciting to live in a country where “Obamacare Medical Codes Confirm: Execution by Beheading To Be Implemented in America”, but PolitiFact says no, we cannot live there because there is a fire on its pants. Why is PolitiFact so mean to our childlike sense of wonder and our precious need to […]

Here is Andrea Mitchell recalling a little run-in that she had last spring with Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Poutine). Mitchell was on the Morning Joe gabfest yesterday, and said that Cruz appeared to be far more interested in pursuing his Presidential Destiny (as prophesized by his father), instead of making nice, being Senatorial, or passing laws: […]

Everyone’s favorite Jewish grandmother, Chuck Schumer, has been banging on for a few weeks about how he wanted the Gang of Eight’s immigration reform bill to get 70 votes in the Senate. To which we say halavai, Chuck Schumer! But if your bill should only get 60 votes, that will have been sufficient to pass. […]

What happens to a DREAMer deferred? Apparently, s/he and a bunch of friends show up at Rep. Steve King’s Capitol Hill office to shame him for being such a hateful, small, cowardly, xenophobic shitstain toward human beings who were born in other, browner countries. Of course, not being human himself, but rather a crusty, gross […]

Recently, there has been lots of Nice Time! for our LGBT sisters and brothers. But hey, this kind of momentum can’t go on forever, and who better to put a stop to it than the House GOP  Senate GOP  Democratic Senators from red blue states. Wait, what? Are you fucking kidding? Our latest group of […]

DDM back to help splain some Congressional nitty-gritty-ness. There have been lots of happy nice times about our GLBTQMORELETTERS friends lately, because people around the country are finally looking around and saying, hey, these gay folks ain’t that bad! In fact, they seem almost like actual human beings, so maybe we could, you know, give them […]

Hello and welcome to “We must now do (name irrelevant thing) to prevent the next Boston Marathon tragedy” week here in America. Fresh from the fine American political tradition that brought you the Iraq War as a nationally-supported response to 9/11, Senators Chuck Schumer and Lindsey Graham are calling for — not war, as this […]

Whose PROBLEM is this, you might be wondering, as you try desperately to save for your children’s college education, pay off your own student loans, keep up with the mortgage payments on a house worth less than what you owe on it, hope that you do not get sick, and contemplate a retirement age of […]

Poor Eduardo Saverin! All he wanted to do was renounce his American citizenship, coincidentally shortly before a big honkin’ tax bill came due from his Facebook public offering or something (we don’t know, it was all the news there was on Friday, which brought our cherished Internet to a dumb screeching halt). And then mean […]

Uh oh, Chuck Schumer saw something in the papers the other day and is already legislating. What dumb caffeine product is it today? Gross candy alcohol caffeine or inhalable powder caffeine? Well look at that, it’s not even a funny consumer product at all — he’s going after Eduardo Saverin, the “good guy” from the […]

How do you trick 61 U.S. Senators into hanging out for a few hours without an eruption of bloodshed? You promise them a mystery holiday treat! It works on children, so why not? A very mischievous Al Franken snuck in a new “Secret Santa clause” to the Senate’s bazillion page protocol in an effort to […]

Uh-oh, why is John McCain insulting 9/11? Don’t tell us our favorite celebrity political couple John McCain and 9/11 have finally broken up! (Calm down, Lindsey Graham, that is not actually what happened.) No, John McCain jokingly insulted Long Island during a Senate debate by saying that it is “regrettably” part of America, and Chuck […]

Sen. Charles Schumer said he would push as well for added funding for rail security and commuter and passenger train track inspections and more monitoring of stations nationwide. When most people see news about a potential terrorist attack, they get a little scared and take a bit of solace knowing their government is aware of […]

Last year, Lindsey Graham decided to use his formal Ham Biscuit Veto, the constitutional provision that allows closeted senators to block any bill that offends their dainty self-importance, to stop immigration and climate-change reforms from happening, because he was so upset about the health care. But now Lindsey Graham has decided the immigration thing is […]

Yeah, that always made more sense. Recall those civics textbooks, folks. [YouTube]