Tag: chuck hagel

Why does Obama hate freedom scams?

Extra Extra! Get Your 2015 Barack Obama State Of The Union Liveblog Here!

It's that time of year again: when your wussy liberal islamocommunofascist pals gather round the Wonkette hearth and trade googly-heart-eyes for "President" Barack ("Mom") Obama. Will he announce Obamaphones for some and FEMA camps for the rest? Here's fucking...
Some guy, who knows?

Obama Taps Some Nerd To Babysit Wars For Next Two Years

Ever since the White House told Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel to GTFO, pretty much every potential replacement for the job has been busy shouting "Not it!" Because really, what sane person would want the thankless job of overseeing our...
Sorry, Chuck, but someone's got to go

Obama Learns His Lesson From Election, Fires Only Republican In Room

It seems President Obama has learned at least one valuable lesson from the devastating mandate delivered by the minority of the American people who bothered voting on Election Day: can the Republican. The New York Times is reporting that Secretary...

Texas Gay National Guard Members Get The Shaft, But Not In Good Way

You know that drunk uncle who arrives at your Thanksgiving meals to complain about how the messicans and my-NOR-AH-ties and homosessuals are ruining America, which was founded by White Manly Jesus on White Christian Values? If that uncle were...

Defense Secretary Hagel Rams Gay Servicemember Benefits Down National Guard’s Throats

Happy Gayvember, everyone! How is the Pentagon defying G_d today? Per Stars and Stripes: Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel on Thursday sharply criticized U.S. states that are defying the Pentagon by refusing to allow National Guard facilities to issue ID cards...

Brave, Totally Not Homophobic Oklahoma Senator Fights For Equality Of Straight Soldiers

Gays have it so easy, man. They can marry in 13 states, people - THIRTEEN! That's as many as were originally in America when Jesus walked across the Atlantic Ocean to found this nation! And they can serve openly...

Ghost Andrew Breitbart Stands By His Story On Terror Group That Does Not Exist

Andrew Breitbart would be rolling over in his grave if he had ever given a good goddamn about things like "journalism" and "not making up terrorist groups that paid off Chuck Hagel." Fortunately, those were not at the top...

John McCain’s Hurt Feelings Will Run Your Life Forever, America

Hey Americans! Do you like governance by snit? OF COURSE YOU DO. What country wouldn't want its fate determined by petty grievances and your leaders generally acting like whiny little bitchcakes towards one another? We sure do love it!...

Assume Wingnuts Furious Over SNL’s Cut Chuck Hagel Sketch

We do not know if the wingnuts are furious about the Chuck Hagel Sadtime Clown Face Hearings Hour, and how SNL cut it before air, probably because it was not funny. (We have just watched it; it was not...

What Is Old Man McCain Yelling At Clouds Today?

Oh, WALNUTS. You are yelling again. YES OR NO. YES OR NO. I ASKED YOU A DIRECT QUESTION. YES OR NO. You've got to stop it. It is not good for your chakras. But what does it remind us...

Let These Chickenhawks Explain You Why Chuck Hagel/Military Service Are Irrelevant In Post-9/11 World

Are you sick of hearing about Chuck Hagel? We are sick of hearing about Chuck Hagel too, but there are so many pearls of wisdom and hidden insights in this New York Times article about him that we cannot...

Chuck Hagel Loves Terrorism Like Al Jazeera Loves Beheading People

Rick Santorum has some thoughts you guys, and apparently they are so important he cannot even save them for his "exclusive" gig at WND, columnizing alongside folks who think the Supreme Court Chief Justice should be impeached for swearing...

NRO: Allies? We Don’t Need No Stinking Allies

Dear lord we already have Hagel fatigue. We already had to pretend that the GOP suddenly cares about gay rights and therefore Hagel = root of all evil. We have to listen to John McCain concern troll the hell...

Who Would Republicans Deign To Accept As Obama’s Secretary Of Defense?

Former Republican Senator and Obama's Defense Secretary nominee Chuck Hagel may not be cut out for all this. And really, who is? Obviously, any Democrat the president might nominate would be persona non, because Barack Nobummer is being partisan...

Log Cabin Republicans And Chuck Hagel: The Stupid That Dare Not Speak Its Name

Citizens of WonkWorld, it is time for your ... quarterly? sure, let's go with quarterly ... reminder that there is such a thing as the Log Cabin Republicans. (There is also another conservogay thing known as GOProud. Believe it...

Fox & Friends: Republican Senator Not Republican Enough To Win Confirmation To Obama’s Cabinet

There is absolutely nothing President Bablack H. Obamblack can do to make the GOP happy. Putting forward the Heritage Foundation's pro-business healthcare reform? SOCIALISMS. Proposing the Republican answer to climate change (from back when Republicans believed in climate change),...