Tag: chuck grassley

Sad Donald Trump Can’t Kill All The Wind And Solar Power Just Yet :(

Turns out Donald Trump may not be able to force everyone to work in a coal mine after all.
Everyone uses this pic eventually

Your Senate Sunday Is FREE AT LAST!

Let's take one last look at some of the top Senate races, for America!

The Humble Hannity? Your Wonkagenda, November 2, 2016

Donald Trump's pervy sex novel, Bernie Sanders burns big pharma, and a Texas A.G. learns all about Twitter. Your Morning News Brief!
Free kitten with every five mass shootings

Adorable Senate Prepares To Pretend To ‘Do Something’ About Guns, Isn’t That Sweet?

Oh good, the Senate is finally going to appear to do something about guns, and then fail. Then we can go back to having our real gun laws dictated to the states by the NRA, as the Founders intended.

Four Iowa Democrats Fight To Take Over Chuck Grassley’s Twitter Account: Your Senate Sunday

Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley is infamous for all the dumb stuff he's said on Twitter. Democrats would really like to try to help him find a better use for his time after November.

GOP To Hold Its Breath Until It Turns Blue, Or Until Hillary Wins White House

As promised, Oval-Office-thiever-in-chief Barry B. Bamz O'Baby YoMama nominated a perfectly reasonable and qualified white dude to fill the vacancy on the Supreme Court. As also promised, congressional Republicans took all of zero seconds to say "NO WAY, HOMBRE!" because "principles"...

Let’s Meet Obama’s Sexxxy Silver Fox SCOTUS Nominee, Merrick Garland!

Hooray, the president of America, Barack the Great, has made a nominee to replace Dead Antonin Scalia's rotting flesh 'n' bones on the Supreme Court! Don't you want to know everything about him? No? Well SUCKS TO BE YOU...

Obama Nominates White Dude For Dead Scalia’s Supreme Court Seat, GOP Obviously Appalled

Despite stern warnings from Senate Republicans that so-called "President" Obama better not do anything crazy, like act as if he is the president, the wussy tyrant usurper-in-chief has decided once again to invite them to perform sexual relations on...
Good job, asshole

Americans Want GOP To Do Its Damn Job, So That’ll Never Happen

Today, in No Frickin' Duh News, we bring you this exciting revelation. A totally not shocking in any way new poll shows the majority of Americans think the Senate's shit-sniffing Republicans should try earning their six-figure salaries for once, and...

Remember To Vote This November To Re-Elect Justice Scalia For President Of The Supreme Court

Check out the Republican Party, spreading a stinking pile of plucked-directly-from-their-buttcracks lies again. As per usual. This week's elephant dung is the myth that that The American People, not The American President Elected By The American People (TWICE!), have the God-given right to select justices...

Senate Republicans Quite Conflicted About Whether To Do Their Job

Oh, what an awkward spot of bother the Grand Old Party has found itself in. Again. Approximately one half second after the world learned of the sudden vacancy on the Supreme Court (and oh yeah, P.S., thoughts and prayers to Antonin...

RINO Chuck Grassley Picks SCOTUS Fight With Rightwing Chuck Grassley, Both Lose

Iowa Sen. Chuck Grassley has some very stern words for himself. Once upon a time, on Saturday, Grassley agreed with his fellow Republicans that the best way to honor fallen conservahero Antonin Scalia was to immediately tell President Obama to eff all...
But definitely not racist restrictions, racism is over.

Sen. Chuck Grassley: No Need To Fix Voting Rights Act, Blacks Already Vote Enough!

It was wonderful in 2013 when the Supreme Court finally decided that racism was over, and as a gesture of their goodwill, struck down Section 4 of the Voting Rights Act, the part that said states like Mississippi and...
Nothing is sacred anymore

NFL Hires A Girl, Ruins Football

Here's a tragedy for sportsball fans everywhere: The NFL officially hired Sarah Thomas as a line judge Wednesday, making her the league's first full-time female official. Thomas had been working as a college football referee for eight years in Conference...
Good thing they all get to have health insurance

Ted Cruz To Cover His Family With Obamacare, THEN Kill It With Fire, Because He’s A Dick

It must be nice to be Ted Cruz. Sure, you have to actually be Ted Cruz, which sounds awful, but on the other hand, you get to be Ted Cruz. You can devote your entire life -- or, OK, the...
Still claims not to be Eric Holder, reportedly has not yet died of old age

Loretta Lynch Won’t Impeach Obama, Obviously Not Suitable Attorney General

Wednesday was the first day of Loretta Lynch's confirmation hearings before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and so far, it looks like Republicans may consider her too "nominated by Barack Obama" to be confirmed as attorney general. In a fairly basic...