chuck grassley

Chuck Grassley comes home. Chuck Grassley sees his peeps, but his peeps don’t see him. They only see his power and his money. He’s got problems too, you know. Life’s not all hos and blow. Life’s not his videos. SocSecity seldom does, and farm bill came. Chuck Grassley can never come home. [Twitter]

Did everyone hear that ITC of CedrRapids had their employes? They did. Chuck Grassley was there. What else did he see? Why, a giant Nrg! You don’t come across a lot of those in Cedar Rapids, let your editor tell you. Not exactly the most diverse place.

All joking aside, we used to be able to understand at least one of the things Chuck Grassley was trying to say in his tweets. Now, we are pretty sure he is just some kind of robot. Is this some kind of incomprehensible spam? Is it instructions to animals or fellow machines that humans simply [...]

“xceptionalNation” has a nice ring to it! We were getting sick of “United States of America.” Also, it’s how the Pilgrims would have branded us. Had they known about skateboards. [Twitter]

Wow, there is a lot here. So it is “Steel Day” today in Iowa, according to Chuck Grassley, though there are no results for such an “event” on Google. If we are to believe Grassley, all Iowans know the best way to celebrate your pride in this important hard metal is to whip out your [...]

Attention academics, linguists, and Babel Fish experts: Can you identify what language Chuck Grassley used to encrypt his secret Twitter message? It’s not Arabic, according to Google Translate!

What is this ad even about? Is he viciously making fun of old people for not understanding technology, and thus showing the youngs how hip he is? Is he sincerely trying to make the olds not be so scared of his Twitter account and its violent “urban” slang? Who is that man wearing black at [...]

We all know what happens when Chuck Grassley isn’t sleeping or unconscious: He uploads, uh, “bytes” to his Twitter Page. Mrs. Barbara Grassley has had enough. But every time she asks her husband politely, “Don’t you think you’ve done enough of that Twitter stuff for one day? Also, what does ‘doRITE’ even mean?” he just [...]

You know what keeps Chuck Grassley up at night? Pornography! Specifically, the thought that someone, somewhere, within the vast National Science Foundation bureaucracy, is using a computer and Internet connection purchased with tax, dollars paid by hard-working Americans, to find and view pictures of comely young men or women — perhaps not wearing clothes, perhaps [...]

THAT'LL SHOW 'EM  10:03 am May 21, 2010

by Josh Fruhlinger

SOMEONE’S GOT SENIORITIS REAL BAD: Oh, hey, check out who was one of the two Senate Democrats who didn’t bother showing up for last night’s financial reform vote! HA HA VOTING ON THINGS IS FOR PEOPLE WHO GIVE A SHIT (and haven’t had their hearts broken by a fickle electorate, boo hoo). The other Dem [...]

The funniest scandal of the Great Depression 2008-201? was this SEC guy fapping furiously to a transvestite porn site at work while the Wall Street/America/Earth money scam was collapsing, in August 2008. In one three-week stretch, this unnamed Securities and Exchange Commission guy employed to police the nation’s financial system went to porno sites 1,880 [...]

GRAMPA CORNPANTS  2:10 pm March 24, 2010

by Jim Newell

HAHAHAHA WELL LOOK AT THAT: The Republicans’ “chief health care negotiator,” Sen. Chuck Grassley of Twitter fame, is already taking credit for things in the evil health care bill: “Sen. Chuck Grassley, ranking member of the Committee on Finance, with jurisdiction over taxes, has worked to hold tax-exempt hospitals accountable for the federal tax benefits [...]

Oh hey Monday was Twitter Day, the day when Republicans celebrate that time Chuck Grassley descended from Mount Sinai with One Hundred Forty Characters written on two enormous BlackBerry tablets. Let us pray. [The Hill] “Why does Harry Reid hate the unemployed? Why does he want people to starve?” Because. Just because. [RedState] An exciting [...]

Oh god, we’re dangerously close to reaching Peak Grassley here. This man was born to use the expression “living off the public tit” on television at least once in his desperate, confusing life. Now he should rest in his corn fields for a bit, while we wait for the day. [Think Progress]

We haven’t been hearing much from everyone’s favorite wacky Iowan coot, Senator Chuck Grassley, ever since the Senate Finance Committee passed its health care bill without any help or input whatsoever from the “chief Republican negotiator,” who was busy bottoming out. So today your sentimental editor went to the YouTube and searched “grassley” in the [...]


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