Do not despair, jobless people! You’re not alone. Several members of Congress who lost their positions in the 2008 elections have yet to find gainful employment, and perennial loser Alberto Gonzales also remains at loose ends because George Bush was the only person left in America who would hire him. MORE »

* Gore’s gonna run, Gore’s gonna run, Gore’s gonna run — psyche! [Hotline on Call]
* Christopher Shays is a gay necrophiliac. [The Swamp]
* John Edwards gets endorsed by a not-gay former governor of New Jersey. [Election Central]
* Super Tuesday is for punk bitches — 2008’s gonna have Uber-Jumbo Tuesday Exxxtreme. [Political Insider]
* Even Bill Richardson’s mom doesn’t think he can win. [Poltical Wire]
* Wesley Clark hates the Iran war, so does his website. [YouTube]
* USA Today is building the newspaper of the future, just in time for all their readers to keel over and die. [BuzzMachine]

• George Bush had intentionally avoided Mark Foley for years because he was scared of “catching teh gay.” [Waveflux]

• Rule number 1: Tony Snow is security. Rule number 2: If you think Tony Snow is committing a security violation, see rule number 1. [Potomac Flacks]
• Wannabe serial killer John Mark Karr now running for congress: “For once we’d have a politician who is willing to take responsibility.” [The Dilbert Blog]
• Bob Ney won’t resign from Congress until he saves up enough money for a plane ticket back to Ohio so he can watch his house get repossessed. [The Gaggle]
• Chris Shays is appalled at what happened at Abu Ghraib, and will personally make sure it’s never available on DVD for $19.95. [Talking Points Memo]
• A country that’s regressing into childhood needs a leader who’s willing to make his own club house and keep people off his birthday party invite list, and Joe Lieberman is that leader. [LMNOP]
• Debate turns ugly when Rick Santorum’s foamy mouth covers Bob Casey in anger-powered projectile spittle. [Political Animal]
• Joke nothing, most of these people would probably be significantly more qualified than the current cabinet. [CourtTV]

No wonder they didn’t mind the U.S. troops torturing, raping and murdering people in Iraq — that’s just the natural way Republicans have sex! MORE »

• France recommits larger number of soldiers, takes leadership of the “United Nations Interim Force of Lebanon.” [WP, W$J]

• Rep. Christopher Shays (R-Conn.) has eyes opened during 14th trip to Iraq, says we need “to have a timeline for troop withdrawal.” [WP]
• Bush spends this week fishing with family in Kennebunkport, hiding from Cindy Sheehan, and covering up his New England roots. [WP]
• Emergency contraceptive “Plan B” approved by FDA, to be available in pharmacies without a prescription by the end of the year. [WP, NYT]
• All the big names are going to Iowa pretending to fundraise for mid-terms, but it’s really about 2008. [NYT]
• Kentucky Governor signs plea deal in hiring scandal; Kentucky Attorney General holds press conference, respects seersucker Thursday. [NYT]
• State Department secretive about investigation into Israel breaking secret agreements and secretly using restricted bombs. [NYT]

* Administration requests $72.4b for operations in Iraq and Afghanistan plus $19.8b for the Gulf Coast. [NYT, W$J, WT]
* Senate, under pressure from the administration, will not investigate NSA eavesdropping; House inquiry moves forward. [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Bush has no problem with handling of Cheney’s hunting accident: “This is a man who likes the outdoors, and he likes to hunt. . . I’m satisfied with the explanation he gave.” [NYT, USAT]
* Texas police close their investigation of hunting accident without making criminal charges. [WP]
* Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) denies wrongdoing in new lobbying scandal but asks for ethics investigation. [WP, NYT, USAT]
* Is Cheney more of a liability for Republicans than an asset? [W$J]

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• Bush nominates White House counsel Harriet Miers to replace Sandra Day O’Connor. [CNN, AP]
• Fitzgerald may seek criminal conspiracy charge from leak investigation. “Scooter” Libby discussed Valerie Plame with at least two reporters but maintains he did not say her name or unveil her covert status; testimony of Libby and Karl Rove appears to contradict early White House statements. [WP]
• Tom DeLay: “I think it will be over and be over very, very soon, and I think I will go back and be majority leader.” Christopher Shays (R-Conn.): “We got elected basically by saying we would live by a higher moral standard, and I don’t think recently we have.” [LAT, USAT, WP, WT]
• Majority of governors want states, not the Pentagon, to oversee responses to national disasters. [USAT]

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