Tag Archives: christopher hitchens

  pour one out for the humorless

Carol Burnett’s Mark Twain Prize Proves Once Again Ladies Aren’t Funny

So Carol Burnett just received some fancy-schmancy award for being a funny lady, and many different peoples, including other funny ladies, performed for her because ladies like to band together. On Sunday, the trailblazing comedienne received the nation’s top humor prize at the Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Top entertainers including Julie Andrews, Tony Bennett, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler and others performed in Burnett’s honor as she received the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. For real we have no beef with Carol Burnett. She is funny, for a lady. And she got famous being “funny” at a time when ladies were really not allowed to be funny. Read more on Carol Burnett’s Mark Twain Prize Proves Once Again Ladies Aren’t Funny…
  r.i.p.

Hitchens On Hacks

Christopher Hitchens is dead. His essays were feisty and elegant, well within the great tradition of combative English pamphleteering. He was usually provocative, often dazzling in his historical and literary allusions, and rarely boring. He only became a bore, really, in his final decade. His ironic and playful mind became (at times) monomaniacal, first about the war against the Islamo Iron Guard or whatever the term was in 2003, and then about vicious dictator “God.” Your book-reviewer met him once, and the man couldn’t have been more of a gent. Read more on Hitchens On Hacks…
  an interesting life

Farewell, Hitch

Our favorite drink-soaked former Trotskyist popinjay passed away today after a well-publicized bout with esophageal cancer. Christopher Hitchens was 62 years old, which is kind of remarkable when you think about it. We will miss his haughty wit and clever writing as much as we’ll miss saying what a hopeless dupe he was, again and again, and especially after 9/11. But he was sincere about his convictions, which made him a complete rarity in Washington D.C. And in a town full of dullard “media professionals” who are mouth-breathing cretins, Hitchens got away with quite a lot simply because he was smart and charming. Read more on Farewell, Hitch…
  haha he liked harlot's ghost

Hitchens On the Worthless Washington Novel

Washington novels are terrible, as you maybe noticed if you’ve ever mistakenly picked up a novel about Washington. Christopher Hitchens has some theories: Can one imagine a Dickens without London or a Zola or Flaubert without Paris? The radix malorum can probably be found in the famous bargain between Thomas Jefferson and Alexander Hamilton, made when New York was still the capital of these United States. In exchange for an agreement to build the constitutionally mandated new Federal City on the border of Jefferson’s beloved Virginia, Hamilton could have his coveted national bank. Thus, and allowing for certain Philadelphian interludes, it was decided early on that the cultural capital of America would be separated from its political one. Other countries that have made similar two-headed arrangements include Australia, Brazil, Burma, and Canada: we yet await the Brasilia or Canberra novel. Read more on Hitchens On the Worthless Washington Novel…
  and yes hitchens also has the cancer

A Literary Visit To the Handjob Parlor With Christopher Hitchens

What can Christopher Hitchens, camp English gentleman-essayist and DC curiosity, do for you? Write a memoir, that’s what! Your Wonkette book reviewer admires Hitchens’ writing up to A Certain Point, but didn’t he become a bit dull over the last decade, when he became the Man With One Idea? First he was obsessed with Iraq, and wrote almost exclusively about that, making the same war-fap catcalls over and over. Then he became obsessed with famous Third World dictator “God,” which brought him such riches that he’s now obliged to talk about this notorious tyrant all the damn time. Read more on A Literary Visit To the Handjob Parlor With Christopher Hitchens…
  first couples are naturally gross

A Children’s Treasury of Videos of Al & Tipper Gore Being Gross

How much will we miss “America’s President,” the sore-loserman Al Gore and his wife Tipper Gore, who are becoming separated today due to the lack of love in their lives? Let’s all gather around the laptop and remember the years of joy and kissing and complaining about Prince records and “lockbox” and whatever else they did as Al & Tipper, the First Family of Climate Change. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Videos of Al & Tipper Gore Being Gross…
  ...go on?

Politico Gets The Scoop On DC’s Top Masturbation Material

We’re a day late to this one and have no time for long, meandering first paragraphs about nothing. Here’s the deal: The Politico has written a pornographic feature about how it wants to fuck Peter Orszag, Grover Norquist, Christopher Hitchens, Chuck Todd, Rahm Emanuel, Eric Cantor, and Dr. Congressman Ron Paul, in that order, maybe. Read more on Politico Gets The Scoop On DC’s Top Masturbation Material…
  ha ha hate crimes

Tom Tancredo African-Chopper Will Not Be Attending Law School This Fall

Marcus “Black-Chop” Epstein (someone come up with a better nickname!), seen here with drunk popinjay Christopher Hitchens at one of Reason magazine’s monthly medieval blood orgies, will not enroll at UVA law school this fall, according to the university’s Dean of Admissions in reply to queries from TPM and, more reliably, a Wonkette commenter. And what’s this! And this! [TPM] Read more on Tom Tancredo African-Chopper Will Not Be Attending Law School This Fall…
  wrapped up in books

Witness The Birth Of The Literary Feud Of The Century Or, Alternately, Go Hear Jim Lehrer

One is not born an enemy of Christopher Hitchens, one becomes one. Take the nascent case of a one Adrian Wooldridge, who’s parading around town with his new book, God Is Back, all about how God is back! Adrian Wooldridge has a world of Slate columns originally scribbled in pink highlighter on Andrew Sullivan’s bathroom floor tiles coming his way. Sad. Read more on Witness The Birth Of The Literary Feud Of The Century Or, Alternately, Go Hear Jim Lehrer…
  wonk'd

Christopher Hitchens Baffled By Post Office

Life in DC was exciting for about two and a half seconds when Brad Pitt visited in order to make out with Nancy Pelosi in her private chambers. Oh and then Richard Gere popped by also, which nobody cared about so much. Has Richard Gere been in a movie where he shows his admirable lack of vanity by starting out all gross and warty and gradually aging into a beautiful young specimen of flesh? Nope. Anyway, in lieu of Pitt sightings we bring you word of such handsome hunks as Trent Lott, Jonathan Martin, Patrick Leahy, and Christopher Hitchens. When you go to your local Harris Teeter do *you* see somebody who looks vaguely familiar, and there you are racking your brains wondering if you should say hello or not, and then you remember you saw them on “Hardball” talking about agricultural subsidies? Send us word of these life-changing events! Write to tips@wonkette.com with the subject line “Wonk’d.” Read more on Christopher Hitchens Baffled By Post Office…
  thursdays are for magazines

Traversing The Atlantic

Let’s see what the boys at the Atlantic have cooked up for us this month, in the magazine’s March issue. There’s war, and the economy, and Christianity—timeless subjects, all! There’s also Christopher Hitchens, trying to one-up Adam Gopnik the only way he knows how: by writing disparaging remarks in Sharpie on his face. Read more on Traversing The Atlantic…
  at least he goes on assignment!

Hitchens Beaten by Lebanese Thugs, In Lebanon?

Here’s some Hot International Gossip that’s just weird enough to be true, because it’s about Christopher Hitchens drinking while on assignment in some Foreign Land, so it’s already 100% credible: The beloved Washington journalist was supposedly out for a night of boozing in Beirut when he chanced upon a political propaganda poster from the not-so-beloved Syrian Social Nationalist Party, the right-wing turned left-wing turned pain-in-the-ass Syrians always fucking around with Lebanon. Obviously, Hitchens needed to deface this poster, while some SSNP thugs were watching from across the street. Read more on Hitchens Beaten by Lebanese Thugs, In Lebanon?…
  stories of pundits

Christopher Hitchens Makes Out With Andrew Sullivan, Dances To Rap Music

You know who’s having a doggone humdinger of an Inauguration weekend is that Christopher Hitchens, the ex-Trotskyist drink-soaked popinjay war columnist for Slate, Vanity Fair… wherever else! The Internet is awash with stories of his shenanigans this weekend, including a sexy kiss with fellow British anger bear Andrew Sullivan at the Slate party and some hip-hop dancing at the party for Slate‘s black people website, The Root! THE GUY’S A MANIAC. Read more on Christopher Hitchens Makes Out With Andrew Sullivan, Dances To Rap Music…
  drink-soaked former trotskyist popinjays

Christopher Hitchens Is Funny When He Talks About The Clintons

TPM’s excited about this clip, claiming that Salon’s Joan Walsh lays a “smackdown” on Christopher Hitchens… we don’t really see that? It’s just the drunk anger troll pissing off the nice lady. Ha ha, it is amazing how much Christopher Hitchens hates the Clintons. He hates them more than Andrew Sullivan does. Here’s the full clip, in which Christopher Hitchens mentions at least 500 other foreign business ties of the Clintons, and Joan Walsh occasionally chimes in to say “Christopher how could you say that!” [TPM, MSNBC] Read more on Christopher Hitchens Is Funny When He Talks About The Clintons…