christmas
Your Weather: America Prepares, 2010
From coast to coast, America is getting plenty of winter weather — and just in time for winter, too. Weather predicting people say these trends may continue all the way to Christmas. Whether this is a “good thing” or a “bad thing” depends very much on your planned activities for the holidays. For instance, those [...]
Tonight’s Lunar Eclipse/Winter Solstice: What You Need To Know
Tonight will be very exciting for the fancy elitists in our country who can locate the night sky: For the first time in four centuries, a total lunar eclipse will also mark the Winter Solstice. Also, it’s a Full Moon! And there’s a meteor shower tonight, too! This combination of science and paganism is exactly [...]
Gratuitous Celebrations of Jesus
For most Americans, Christmas is that special time when you gather your remaining pennies, find your way to the local 7-Eleven to finish your Christmas shopping and pray that, when you return home, the Baby Jesus left a job/house/car under your tree. But if you live in Washington, D.C. — a city that was just [...]
Your Wonkette Guide To the War On Christmas
Christ-killers and Menorah fetishists, ACLU fascists and Kwanzaa-celebrating racists, liberals and Nazis, gather ’round the Christmas fire! Normally at Christmastime, your reviewer would want to read aloud some classics of the season, but this year we must focus on what’s truly important and enduring: books by furious wingnuts that denounce the damnable War on Christmas. [...]
Flashing Terrorist ‘Christmas Ornament’ Nearly Destroys Pentagon
A “blinking Christmas ornament” was put in the trash at the Pentagon Metro stop this morning, so of course the station had to be shut down, because terrorism. Officials told the AP they “took it seriously,” which is what they always do, even though they should be racist-profiling blinking Eid ornaments, not Christmas ornaments. The [...]
Remembering Our Fallen Week: Giant Babies Invade Congress
Michele Bachmann and Steve King stood up for the antebellum south, who have been totally ignored since that runaway Kenyan slave became president. Perfect virgin Bristol Palin memorized some new vocabulary words to defend her honor against the ruler of Dictionopolis, Keith Olbermann. The elite state of science reporting was threatened by ignorant bloggers who [...]
Happy Holidays! The Unemployment Rate Rose Again
Hark! What’s that sound on the rooftop? Could it be sleigh bells? No, it’s the nation’s unemployment rate, here to bring us holiday cheer! The festive unemployment rate has received its “Christmas bonus” — increasing in November to 9.8%, a seven-month high — while only 39,000 new jobs were created. And most of those jobs [...]
U.S. Government Will Announce Space Monster Invasion Tomorrow
What did NASA send your Wonkette for some reason? Secret plans for the new Chevrolet space shuttle? A wacky “mash up” video of NASA accidents? No! It’s even better/worse than all that: “NASA will hold a news conference at 2 p.m. EST on Thursday, Dec. 2, to discuss an astrobiology finding that will impact the [...]
National Portrait Gallery Removes Ant Crucifix Art After GOP Threats
The Smithsonian’s National Portrait Gallery has removed a video exhibit portraying the suffering of an AIDS victim because the Catholic League complained and John Boehner and Eric Cantor whined and threatened the institution’s funding. The video in question features a bit of footage of a crucifix sitting on a pile of dirt and ants, some [...]
Christmas-Hating Republican Party Selling ‘Happy Holidays’ Ornaments
Conservatives are constantly telling us we are not allowed to wish people “Happy Holidays,” even if we don’t know their religion, and even if we are talking to freedom-loving Israeli settlers, because everyone everywhere should celebrate Jesus’ birfday. But apparently the Republican Party hates the baby messiah and his righteous Black Friday Taiwanese Blu-Ray players, [...]
For Only 50¢ a Day, You Too Can Save a Kathryn Jean-Lopez’s Life
In rotation with Santa Claus, apparently this too is now a pop-up ad on the National Review‘s website. Please, as you enjoy your bounty and familial love this holiday season, please think of the less fortunate. Please, think of the young K-Lo in the streets of Mumbai, trying to blog from underneath the rubble of [...]
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