Tag Archives: christmas trees

  Here have some news n stuff

Justice Scalia: What’s So Terrible About Torture? It Works On TV!

What's the difference between real life and TV? Who knows? Who cares?
At least Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia isn’t in a position to make important decisions that affect people’s lives, or this might be a tad disturbing: Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia says torture — depending on the circumstances, like if a nuclear bomb was planted in Los Angeles — isn’t necessarily off limits. […] Read more on Justice Scalia: What’s So Terrible About Torture? It Works On TV!…
  Dreck The Halls

Is ‘Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas’ Truly The Worst Movie Ever? A Wonkette Investigation

Yes, it's very, very bad.
As fans of terrible movies and of rightwing Christianist propaganda, we’ve been looking forward to Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas for months now, but it was the news that it had achieved the dubious distinction of getting the lowest rating of any film on IMDB.com — ever — that finally drove us to the theater. Now, Kirk Cameron would have you believe that the low rating is in fact the result of a plot by atheists to destroy his movie (and maybe Christmas). There’s even an element of truth to the claim, especially if you replace atheists with internet trolls and destroy with relentlessly mock. Or maybe Cameron’s thanking atheists for all the free publicity. You know, reverse psychology. So yes, organized trolling has given Saving Christmas a historically low score. But is it truly the worst movie ever? Read more on Is ‘Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas’ Truly The Worst Movie Ever? A Wonkette Investigation…
  burn her

Michelle Obama Bogarting All The Christmas Trees

Well, this is very sad. Apparently, History’s Greatest Monster Michelle Obama has neither shat upon the face of the smiling Baby Jesus by naming her Christmas trees “holiday African witchdoctor spear missiles” nor covered her Christmas trees in hypodermic needles and Stalin. How, then, is a hack of many talents to take great umbrage with the way the Black Queen decorates for the pagan festival of Yule? We will let hack nonpareil Andrew Malcolm find a way! Read more on Michelle Obama Bogarting All The Christmas Trees…
  i say she is a witch

Fringe Catholic Nut-Job Says Michelle Obama Got Hillary’s Christmas Tree Decoration Crack Pipes

What is it with these Democratic First Ladies? First Hillary Clinton put dildoes and crack pipes all over the White House Holiday Bush, and now Michelle Obama is decorating her Holiday Bush with pictures of drag queens and Mao Tse Tung! What is next? Jars with rapebortions in them? PROBABLY. From the fever dreams of the “Catholic” League’s fringey nut job, Bill Donohue, and the first installment of his very TL; DR on Obama’s War on Religion: Christmas did not escape without controversy. For reasons never explained, the White House Christmas tree was adorned with ornaments depicting drag queens and mass murderers (Mao Zedong was featured; he killed 77 million of his own people). Read more on Fringe Catholic Nut-Job Says Michelle Obama Got Hillary’s Christmas Tree Decoration Crack Pipes…
  it's beginning to look a lot like the war on xmas

Evil Barack Obama Now Waging Jihad On Christmas Trees

Even your Xmas holiday decorations are not safe from a secret Mooslim like Barack Obama, who today probably realized for the first time that the National Christmas Tree Association filed a request to the Department of Agriculture to collect a fifteen-cent fee on every live Christmas tree sold this year by a large grower, to raise money for an industry ad campaign encouraging Americans to go back to buying real murdered trees instead of the plastic Tofurkey tree equivalents that don’t accidentally catch on fire as well. Why has Obama suddenly heard about this? Hm, let’s review… “fee”…”Christmas”…”government agency”… ha ha, you know where this is going. “OBAMA TAXES CHRISTMAS TREES” is today’s top wingnut headline! Read more on Evil Barack Obama Now Waging Jihad On Christmas Trees…
  and then the pardoned turkey raped and murdered a woman

Heathen Obama Lights Christmas Tree; Crowd Applauds Dog

Barack Obama said “Merry Christmas” THREE times last night, at the lighting of the National Christmas Tree (we only need one?). That seems like a lot for a Muslim atheist, but in reality, it proves he’s morally weak. Not only did Obama say this phrase; he also allowed a minister to deliver an invocation at this most sacred event, at which America comes together to mark the occasion when the hungry babyjesus ate an entire Douglas-fir full of electronics and light bulbs in one sitting. There were four applause breaks during this ceremony: one for Obama’s children and their grandmother, one for his dog, one for the hip-hop artist Common, and one for the tree. There were not any for Obama, because of the whole morally weak thing. Read more on Heathen Obama Lights Christmas Tree; Crowd Applauds Dog…
  metro section

A Very Sexy Day For DC Christmas Trees (Not Christmas)

Say goodbye to the Washington Post‘s “Sunday Source” section. It will be replaced by David Gregory. [Fishbowl DC] Today is the day when local Christmas trees are finally legal, thus making them undesirable to members of Congress. [Washington Post] Read more on A Very Sexy Day For DC Christmas Trees (Not Christmas)…