Tag: christmas

Welcome to Melania Trump’s Terrifying German Expressionist Christmas Tree Corridor Of Horror!

It's a decidedly surreal kickoff to the annual Sacred Baby Festival season.

Yay, Town In Pennsylvania Trump Country ISN’T Total Dick To Syrian Refugees!

Let's be joyful that stories like this still exist, at least until Donald Trump makes them illegal.

RNC Hails Its New King! Wonkagenda For Monday, December 26, 2016

The RNC loves its new God King, the incestuous sexxy times of Trump spox, and the Dems set their sights on taxes. Your morning news brief!

A CHRISTmas Tradition! Deleted Holiday Comment: Get Your Jews Out Of My Sacred Baby Festival!

'My dad told me that we light the eight Chanukah candles to acknowledge the suffering of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.' -- Jonathan Katz
You'll be getting real solar power, not just a stock photo!

Go Solar For Christmas, Even If You Live In A Cave! It’s A FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

Here comes the sun -- and you can harness its mighty power!

Breitbart And Fox News Chase Christmas-Stealing Jews Out Of Pennsylvania Town

SPOILER: The Jews did not actually steal Christmas.

Racist White Lady Spreads Racist Christmas Cheer To Hispanic Ladies, Racistly

YAY, another racist white lady video has gone viral!

MERRY EFFING CHRISTMAS, COREY LEWANDOWSKI!

Who is making Corey Lewandowski a victim in the War On Christmas? WHO?

Donald Trump Big Fan Of 10-Year-Old Girls Getting Old Enough To Bang Donald Trump

You won't believe this, wait yes you will.

Stories Of Customers Who Ate Things They Really Weren’t Supposed To

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we've got more stories of customers who ate the weirdest stuff possible. As always, these are real...

Christian College Officially No Longer Has To Deal With Gross Professor Who’s Nice To Muslims

Time for an Official Wonkette update on a story we brought you weeks back, about a political science professor from Illinois's Wheaton College, Larycia Hawkins, and her nasty proclivity for acting like Muslims are not only human beings, but also...
Nah gonna happen.

Marco Rubio So Sad New Yorkers Can’t Shoot Each Other In The Face All The Time

Marco Rubio's sassy little boots have a point to make again, about guns, again. See, Donald Trump made a YOOOGE LOL this weekend when he said, "I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and...
Derp.

Marco Rubio Was Locked And Loaded For Christmas, In Case ISIS Came Down The Chimney

In the hearts, minds and soiled panties of America's Republicans, ISIS is lurking around every single corner, down every alley, and having a cookout in every good Christian cul-de-sac in U.S. America. That is, when it's not having rough,...

Texas Lady Told God To Send Tornadoes To Different Neighborhood And He Was Like ‘OK’

So, Christmas tornadoes were a thing this year, because global warming is fake and all those violent storms were just Jesus opening up His birthday presents. But one lady said, "Hey God, would you let me command the wind?" And...
By the time you see this, I will have had my first Crimmus!

Anna Duggar Wants You To Read Your Weekly Top Ten

Happy day after Christmas, Wonk-Wonks! Did Santa bring you all the dildos you asked for? Gee whiz, we hope so, but probably not, because you're reading this right now. Maybe you can find some at fire sale prices at...