March 10, 2014
Hello! Still bleary-eyed from losing that hour of sleep? Us too! We’re going to blame that for any missteps in this week’s Sunday Times roundup. First off, of course, is the big exciting political news that beloved conervative bullyboy icon Rand Paul won the CPAC straw poll, which means soon he will be your president, […]
Regretful teen-aged witch Christine O’Donnell has endorsed bland gazillionaire flip-flopper Mitt Romney — or, to the Newt Gingrich campaign, Mitt Romney the cultist. Why endorse Mitt? According to O’Donnell’s appearance on CNN this morning, it’s because “He’s been consistent since he changed his mind.” Uhh.
Happy Labor Day weekend! Here is a fun “we just made this into a drinking game” Internet website from the Iowa Democratic Party that asks visitors to read a hilariously krazy quote and guess which nutbag GOP personality said it. It’s slightly harder than it looks! We’ll share some tips after the jump!
We have no idea what kind of spell Christine O’Donnell is trying to put on Twitter, but it looks like a pretty mean one.[Twitter]
Nimrod second-tier grifter Christine O’Donnell is trying desperately to sell her dumb book about how to knit homemade dildos Xtine’s Tea Party expertise, which ranks somewhere below the sequence of random numbers and letters in a license plate database for its contribution to policy. A crowd of four teabaggers showed up to her book signing […]
Touchy grifter dingbat Christine O’Donnell went on CNN to blather a bunch of Tea Party garbage nobody is interested in hearing from a person who is chiefly famous for masturbating and flip-flopping her stance on magic. CNN host Piers Morgan indulges her fantasy briefly until probably falling asleep on air and then finally asks, oh […]
Some newsroom intern in Delaware lost a bet and had to skim Christine O’Donnell’s latest attempt to cash in on her three failed Senate campaigns — “her 358-page book.” Worst assignment ever! Other than a few hundred pages of generic Tea Party filler, O’Donnell is mostly sad about her own hilarious “I’m not a witch” […]
What is this Internet Magick right here? The little Internet djinn are good-humored today and casting spells on Christine O’Donnell’s Amazon related products page for everyone’s amusement. This is apparently referred to as an “Amazon bomb,” but that just feels so military industrial. How about an “Amazon sorcery orgasm” or something a little less war-like […]
Oh, look what nonsense is filling up our inbox already this morning! Unemployed sorceress Christine O’Donnell is out and about grifting with the pros these days, hawking her new memoir that some Tea Party guy thinks you should buy out of “love and support” for this person you had almost entirely forgotten existed until she […]
According to former U.S. Senate candidate-witch Christine O’Donnell, her troubles over her fundraising reports are due to “inadvertent errors” in the software that was used by her campaign. Computers, you see, are dumb, and Christine O’Donnell is smart. Does this explain how the computer decided to rent out a townhouse for her on the campaign’s […]
Unemployed nobody Christine O’Donnell used to masturbate in a “witch costume” just like any uptight gal in the 1980s, but her dumb new ghost-written book — witch-written book? — won’t be about anything good like that. Instead, this nincompoop lady will have her picture on a book about “what it takes to make America great […]
Delaware clown-fish Christine O’Donnell used to go on the teevee all the time because hey, free snacks backstage! Maybe even a few hundred bucks! And she would just say whatever popped up in her weird head — masturbation, “dates” beneath Satanic alters, other witch issues. But, apparently, Christine O’Donnell had a brief moment of self-awareness […]
Poor little witch girl Christine O’Donnell never has any money. It sucks, because you need money to do stuff, like pay rent or buy ladybug costumes. So Christine figured out she could just run for various political offices she’ll never ever win, and then old wingnuts who “think she’s cute” will send her money, which […]
Christine O’Donnell’s lawyer has told the FEC that she will be going through O’Donnell’s campaign spending records to “fix” things. So the FBI really doesn’t even need to investigate her, because all of the money spent on her daily stock of Lean Cuisines will suddenly be moved under some innocuous-sounding part of the records. Everything […]
Many tried to top the Epic Comedy of Christine O’Donnell’s actual political commercial about being a witch, but only one brave man could approach the occult pathos of the Delaware Masturbation Witch’s official campaign advertisements, and that was this guy. Who else made us ashamed in 2010? Oh pretty much everybody, but these six videos […]