christians

Uh. Happy Sunday, everybody? Good news? Ronald William Brown, a very nice man who loved to hang out with children from his Florida trailer park, and buy them pizza, and watch over them at Sunday school, and be the puppeteer on a Christian Television Network show (above!), was not able to realize his fantasy of […]

Whose turn is it to play Adolf Hitler today in the forever binary saga of the Republicans versus secret zombie Adolf Hitler come back from the dead disguised as (insert ridiculous noun here) to devour hysterical conservatives? This kitten? Mitt Romney’s spell-checker? Or maybe some elementary school teachers? For the answer, let’s either re-read the […]

After a man went on television for a very low-profile announcement that he is now back to feeling about gay marriage the way he felt in the fun 90s, the world erupted in praise … and backhanded praise and faint praise and no praise AT ALL! You are surprised, we know. Jim Daly, the boss […]

Total gay Dan Savage is not just a spreader of viral ideas (“memes”) and actual viruses, he is also a bully because he made Christian teens feel bad by calling the Bible bullshit just because it was constantly saying how we should slave people and stuff. Then he called them “pansy-ass” for walking out of […]

As the excitement (?) of Super Tuesday grips the nation the way a priest grips a young boy’s scrotum, Rick Santorum’s college fund for his dozens of children is paying for an onslaught of angry religious-fanatic robo-calls against Mitt Romney, himself a robot. And this makes sense, at least the part about Rick Santorum pissing […]

The Internet is chock full of dumb two-day fads, but there might be some real staying power in the concept of “Tea Party Jesus,” a Tumblr site that combines images of the Loving Jesus with cartoon speech bubbles full of 100% real quotes from leading right-wing Republicans who self-identify as “family values Christians.”

If there is one thing wrong in the state of Georgia right now, it is that not every single license plate reads “In God We Trust.” In fact, the real problem is that you have to pay an entire dollar in order to get these words to appear like Jeebus Magick on your license plate. […]

Kentucky GOP candidate for governor David Williams is behind Democratic incumbent Steve Beshear by several million points in the polls, which means the only thing sad dingus David Williams can do all day long at this point is stare glumly at his Steve Beshear Google Alert list trying to find banal news items he can […]

Given the medieval new anti-furriner laws in Alabama criminalizing even the air that circulates complacently through an illegal immigrant’s lungs, it is maybe not surprising that some of Alabama’s more boneheaded fearful legal citizens are afraid the Thought Police (Jesus?) will come after them for so much as thinking that some of its brown people […]

A group of Arkansas atheists attempting to run ads on public buses promoting their beliefs are being asked to pay a $36,000 insurance premium because the bus company’s ad agency fears terrible Christian vandals will set fire to the buses, or something. The improbable-sounding group — “Arkansas atheist” is like hearing “Detroit real-estate investment boom” […]

Faith 2 Action was last seen attempting to get a fetus to testify before the Ohio legislature, but it refused to cooperate. It was an aborted attempt, you could say, har har har. They still haven’t had any creative ideas since then: Is God trying to get our attention? The worst tornado outbreak in American […]

Playgirl is still alive somehow. And we guess it’s because it does stuff like this: finding Michele Bachmann’s 28-year-old son and asking him to pose nude in their publication, for publicity. He said no, of course. But considering Bachmann has five children and has foster-parented 23 others, something she brags about on the campaign trail, […]

Well, here’s a shocker: America’s most deluded religious group, the fundamentalist Christians, “are 50 percent more likely to turn into obese middle-agers as those with no religious involvement.” Being dumb and poor and racist and homophobic apparently wasn’t enough for Jeebus’ true children here in America — now they’re doomed to fatness, too. Again, this […]

Have you wondered what in hell a “Chick-Fil-A” might be? It’s a company that sells a form of chicken anus on a stick, we think, and this same company helps the anti-homosexual fanatics by feeding them these McNuggetz, so they will die soon and no longer harass people. Something like that, we don’t care: Lambert […]

“Nearly 8 in 10 American voters say they believe prayers helped Arizona Rep. Gabrielle Giffords survive the Tucson shooting, according to a Fox News poll released Thursday.” Well, there you have it. We now know why Giffords has made such an amazing recovery: She was a popular subject of prayers, and if there’s one thing […]