christianity
Today is a good day. Here is a magazine called The Conservative Teen, whose first issue is miraculously FREE and ONLINE for you to read in its entirety. The Conservative Teen appears to essentially be one of those “$4.99 ORDINARILY BUT FOR YOU, FREE!” fake magazines like Raw Life Today, or whatever, that sneak their [...]
According to some utterer named Steven Andrew, God has spoken through a man with two first names, and it is time for Christians to unite behind Rick Santorum, because his Christ-inanity will fix the economy, and Mitt Romney is “accursed.” Further, Romney is “against everything the USA was founded upon,” by which he means Jesus [...]
In a stunning upset victory for common sense, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals threw out a lawsuit against a high school history teacher brought by one of his students who complained the teacher said in class that Creationism is “religious, superstitious nonsense.” In the Olden Daze this would have been the sort of moment [...]
Texas Governor Rick Perry’s National “Prayer-a-palooza” abdication ceremony is now officially doomed to failure, because Rick Perry has been holding out on God in the financial department by a serious margin. Rick Perry earned $2.68 million from 2000 to 2009, of which he donated 0.5% to charity. Regular Americans donate an average of 1.2% of [...]
“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy [...]
According to TPM’s Ryan J. Reilly, a police officer at the scene said this Muslim man shows up at the White House “every couple days” to pray. That was lucky for anti-Sharia protestors who were there and couldn’t find any Muslims to yell at.
Robert Bentley is the governor of Alabama and a Republican. Therefore, he got in trouble this week for implying that people who are not Christians are not his “brother and sister.” And then, suddenly, atheists and the Anti-Defamation League and followers of the First Slammin’ Church of Patrick Ewing and what have you got upset [...]
A small-town bank in Oklahoma is under siege by governmental secularizing forces this holiday season, as the Federal Reserve is very jealous of their impressive Jesus-themed bank and wants to ruin it for everyone. According to a local teevee news station website, the Fed comes ’round every four years with a list of regulations to [...]
Texas Teabaggers have launched a campaign to oust Republican Speaker of the House Joe Straus, a guy who is a Jew, because it is time that state finally had a “true Christian leader” instead of all these Jews and Scientologists who have run the place ever since white people gypped it from the Mexicans. It [...]
Chuck Norris has a personal pastor for all of his various organization, because, well, karate needs pastors, of course. But when that pastor visited Independence Hall in Philadelphia to learn about the religion of our nation’s founding fathers, he instead was led on a tour by a guide who, rudely, only talked about the Constitution [...]
There are press releases and then there are press releases: “FRANKFORT, Ky.— Governor Steve Beshear today joined the Ark Encounter LLC to announce the planned construction of a full-scale Noah’s Ark tourist attraction in northern Kentucky.” Of course! Get all the state’s most important officials over there. This is going to be big. IT’S GOING [...]
Here is something for your church to purchase! “Leading Christian experts” will teach you to “resist the Green Dragon.” Our political leaders are using scare tactics to force poor people to drink bleach, remove fetuses from every woman’s womb and turn them into terrorists, and, certainly, destroy your local well-funded, VHS-purchasing evangelical church, and some [...]
The engrossing drama of Sarah Palin’s Twitter servant “favoriting” an Ann Coulter “retweet” of a “yfrog” photo of a church sign complaining that Jesus’ blood no-likey Obama is now over, as Palin has removed this thing from her account. Americans can now rest easy and get back to their daily lives. We will use Palin’s [...]
Tennessee Republican Terri Lynn Weaver has SOMEHOW gotten into controversy by posting a photo of herself with her fat pastor dressed as a blackface Aunt Jemima, which you can see at left. What you can’t see at left is the comment Weaver wrote on this photo: “Aunt Jemima, you is so sweet.” WHAT IS WRONG [...]
