christianity
Tea Party Has New Holy Cause: Converting Known ‘Atheist’ George Soros!
The Tea Party is the absolute worst party in American history. It’s just like every sequel — the first one is totally awesome and brings about the creation of a new country, and the second one is Hangover 2. The Tea Party Nouveau is just like that! There is a fucking monkey and a Thai [...]
Patriot Justice: This Is A Christian Country, Quit Asking Questions
It’s easy to paint the Wonksite with a broad brush — “It’s all liberal stuff and buttseks,” the broad-brush painters say, “And what is their thing about Joe Biden.” But it is more than that, oh yes. And we are balanced now, too! We made a conservative friend at the bank the other day, where [...]
O’Reilly Launches Next Volley In War On Christmas: Christianity Not Religion
Good morning, Warrers On Christmas. Much has happened since our last intelligence briefing. Last night, Dessert Fox Bill O’Reilly released another video of propaganda from his bunker in the Fortress of Falafel. He did that thing where he invites an opposing viewpoint onto his show, then kicks the shit out of him. From Raw Story: [...]
Romney Mega Prayer Is Real Thing Starting Right Now, Just Might Work: THE LIVEBLOOG
The mysterious entity that created RomneyMegaPrayer.com has already pretty much conceded the election to Barack Obama. “Sort of depressing, isn’t it? Pretty much no amount of campaigning at this point is going to change things. Obama’s going to win,” the cartoon lady in the infographic tells us. “However, a question has been on my mind [...]
Tulsa Cop Sues For God-Given Right To Not Have To Talk To Islamics
A police officer in Tulsa has been suspended because he arrested a minority without reasonable suspicion for a vague and unspecified “crime.” No, just joking, they’d never be suspended for that! But he was suspended for refusing to attend a mandatory cultural event at a mosque. A Tulsa police officer and devout Christian is suing [...]
Amazing Magazine ‘The Conservative Teen’ Has A Lot To Say, None Of It By Teens
Today is a good day. Here is a magazine called The Conservative Teen, whose first issue is miraculously FREE and ONLINE for you to read in its entirety. The Conservative Teen appears to essentially be one of those “$4.99 ORDINARILY BUT FOR YOU, FREE!” fake magazines like Raw Life Today, or whatever, that sneak their [...]
God: Romney Is ‘Accursed,’ Santorum Will Save Economy With Christianity
According to some utterer named Steven Andrew, God has spoken through a man with two first names, and it is time for Christians to unite behind Rick Santorum, because his Christ-inanity will fix the economy, and Mitt Romney is “accursed.” Further, Romney is “against everything the USA was founded upon,” by which he means Jesus [...]
Court Rules Teachers Still Allowed to Mention Creationism Is Ridiculous
In a stunning upset victory for common sense, the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals threw out a lawsuit against a high school history teacher brought by one of his students who complained the teacher said in class that Creationism is “religious, superstitious nonsense.” In the Olden Daze this would have been the sort of moment [...]
Rick Perry’s Strong Faith Instructs Him To Give Almost Nothing To Charity
Texas Governor Rick Perry’s National “Prayer-a-palooza” abdication ceremony is now officially doomed to failure, because Rick Perry has been holding out on God in the financial department by a serious margin. Rick Perry earned $2.68 million from 2000 to 2009, of which he donated 0.5% to charity. Regular Americans donate an average of 1.2% of [...]
Bryan Fischer: Jesus Had Disciples So They Would Become GOP Politicians
“Jesus’ entire discipleship program with his apostles was an academy designed to prepare them for service in the political arena.” Oh, right, of course, Bryan Fischer. Christianity is really nothing more than one bearded guy’s boutique political consulting/candidate training shop. “I will wash your feet, then you go forth and wash the feet of wealthy [...]
Protestor Throws Crosses At Muslim Praying Near White House
According to TPM’s Ryan J. Reilly, a police officer at the scene said this Muslim man shows up at the White House “every couple days” to pray. That was lucky for anti-Sharia protestors who were there and couldn’t find any Muslims to yell at.
People Get Mad That Dumb Alabama Gov Says Weird Christian Things
Robert Bentley is the governor of Alabama and a Republican. Therefore, he got in trouble this week for implying that people who are not Christians are not his “brother and sister.” And then, suddenly, atheists and the Anti-Defamation League and followers of the First Slammin’ Church of Patrick Ewing and what have you got upset [...]
Federal Reserve Forces Official Bank of Jesus To Cancel Christmas
A small-town bank in Oklahoma is under siege by governmental secularizing forces this holiday season, as the Federal Reserve is very jealous of their impressive Jesus-themed bank and wants to ruin it for everyone. According to a local teevee news station website, the Fed comes ’round every four years with a list of regulations to [...]
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