You know what we love more than anything, at Wonkette? Birthdays! Love ‘em love ‘em love ‘em. And there’s nothing better than a sixth birthday. Even better than your fifth birthday! So grown up now, and all blown apart, and god knows how many hundreds of thousands of corpses, and we hanged your fuckin’ dad, ha ha ha. Happy sixth birthday, Iraq War! Weren’t you supposed to be over by now, what with the Hope and all? Maybe when you’re seven-and-a-half, little bitch. Who wants cake? MORE »

HEY DRUDGE THAT’S NOT FUNNY: “Death by suicide robot,” is that what you call that old “Hitler Youth” Pope looking at you, these days? NOT COOL MAN, not cool. Anyway, happy “Good Friday,” everybody. It’s the day Rome finally killed Jesus so He would never bother us again. [DRUDGE REPORT]

There are nice emails, dumb emails, spam emails, helpful emails, and even more spam emails. But only a very small tiny little fraction of Wonkette’s bulging mailbag qualifies for our coveted “Email of the Day” prize. Today’s winner is “J L”, who sends the following concerned note regarding the apparent casual use of the name “Christ” on this very website! Prepare to be shocked. MORE »

Mike Huckabee’s new ad encapsulates the man better in 30 seconds than the NYT Magazine’s piece could in 11 Internet pages. Basic thought process watching this ad: “He hates politics too, even though he’s a politics-ian! Well that’s really cool, I’m starting to like this guy. He talks all smooth and comforty-like, and I heard a rumor that he once lost all this weig– Whoa, what’s this?! He’s saying that the only important thing in the world right now is the importance of Christ? Like that’s his political message? I don’t know if I care for Mike Huckabee really at all now.” Sound familiar? [YouTube] MORE »