• It’s “purely coincidental” that Chris Wallace has been continually plagued with painful bouts of “the mud butt” since 9/11. [Think Progress]
• General Russel Honoré, affectionately known as Cojones Honoré, might pop a plump nut all over David Vitter’s senate seat (which is really just a taxidermied hooker). [TPM]
• Everyone in L.A. is just getting so high and groovy on the dankest strains of “Purple Kush” and “Perez Hilton Sticky Icky.” [The Daily Dish]
• Swedish futon dealership Ikea has changed their typeface, which means if you are sensitive about fonts, you should probably kill yourself. [AMERICAblog]
• Erick Erickson will recite Gregorian Limbaugh chants with Sean Hannity, TONIGHT, at 9:30 pm. [RedState]

• Obama will get to keep his precious BlackBerry after all, except he be using some weird fancy encrypted BlackBerry that Michelle will buy for him from J.Crew. [Marc Ambinder]
• The victims of yesterday’s tragic inconvenience, in which some earnest hippies were stuck underground for a bit and then later turned away from their Inauguration “seats”, have started a totally unexpected Facebook group. These people are the real heroes. [Ben Smith]
• National idiot Chris Wallace isn’t sure that this Barack Obama is technically even President, what his native Muslim tongue being unable to properly pronounce our American words in their decent, Christian order. [Crooks and Liars]
• People pretty much agree that the Benediction was way better than Warren’s Invocation because Warren would not shut up about Jesus [Christ] and Lowery was pleasingly vague. [AMERICAblog]
• The confirmation of Eric Holder was supposed to be a done deal today, but Republicans want to delay a bit so that he will not jail the entire government for all their dedicated years of torturing. [Politico]

Here’s potentially gay Sen. Lindsey Graham, one of McCain’s most ardent supporters, on the Fox News Sunday program alongside famous mule-bot John Kerry. He’s presented with some poll numbers that look good for Obama after the debate. Graham offers one sentence of pro-McCain spin and then starts whining about how tired he is and basically says OBAMA IS THE BEST THERE ARE YOU HAPPY CHRIS WALLACE? John Kerry stoically agrees and then everyone makes out. [Crooks & Liars]

FOX NEWS, THE ONLY PLACE TO BE: Hillary must have been incensed that Barack Obama would out-right-wing him by appearing on Fox News with Chris Wallace, because she’s about to one-up him: Bill O’Reilly, Wednesday night. [Drudge Report]

As promised, Barack Obama singlehandedly defeated a squadron of Fox News anchors at a game of pickup basketball and then he healed the lepers by touching them and sat down for a little chat with Chris Wallace on Sunday. The conversation was all very civilized until Wallace asked about his Muslim flag pin, which was given to him by the Weathermen back when they were Vietnam medics. Ha ha we kid! Even then President Cool maintained his legendary sangfroid. Selected Q&As after the jump. MORE »

Ladies and gentlemen, mark your calendars: Fox News Sunday will air an interview this weekend with Senator Barack Obama, who only appeals to black people and Midwesterners and men and elitists. Now that he’s behind in the race by every conceivable measure except the popular vote, pledged delegates, and number of states won, he’s turning to Fox News for help reaching out to key demographics who can put him over the top. MORE »

This Jeremiah Wright/Racist Grandma scandal has gotten so out-of-hand that it’s developed some strange new scandal aesthetic — Post-out-of-hand. This stage in scandal evolution can only happen when perennial twit Chris Wallace, of Fox News, criticizes his own network for smearing Obama unfairly. And that is exactly what happened on this morning’s Fox & Friends. So let’s try this out: Th-th-thank you, Chris… Chris Wallace? [Shudder]. And this wasn’t even the best part from this morning’s Fox & Friends! After the jump, watch the least-of-three-evils host, Brian Kilmeade, get so upset about the Obama bashing that he storms off the set, like a hobo! [UPDATE: The RedLasso player was crashing many browsers, so we have combined the two clips into one tour de force of hilarious Fox infighting! Brian Kilmeade walking off the set is first; Chris Wallace's heroic stand begins with two (2) minutes left in the video].

This week, John Paul Stevens, Jeri Thompson, Chris Wallace and Tucker Carlson were all spotted being various degrees of famous at various places by our spies and operatives. Voyeuristic fun, as always, is after the jump. MORE »

Fred Thompson is a funny old dude. He goes gallumphing around the country being grumpy and “running for President” or whatever it is that he’s supposedly doing and, occasionally, he spouts off about something randomly like Crazy Uncle Buddy at Thanksgiving. Like on Sunday, when he complained to Chris Wallace that Fox News is biased against him and how he’s obviously, like, almost winning. He did, however, forget to mention anything about Murdoch’s corporate pro-Giuliani directives, which might have made the whole thing sound more plausible. Watch Fred muck up his supposed ambitions again below, and wonder if maybe he just really likes being on the tee-vee.

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This week Chris Wallace continues the cheapness trend while buying a new suit, Tom Delay brings his evil spirits to a restaurant named for a mystical tree — and Hugo Chavez hearts New York. It’s all after the jump.

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Having finally recovered from Prom, Chatology returned to her perch on the couch to sit through 3.5 hours of bone-grindingly obvious talking points. We’re used to butt-punishing workouts, but this is not our favorite among them. That said, a surprisingly sexy Sunday morning. ALSO: Can’t get enough of that wacky Bush impressionist? We can.

Top Topics:
• Michael Hayden, spook or just creep? Rep. Pete Hoekstra makes news by negation: Hayden “is the wrong man at the wrong place at the wrong time.” McCain is more loving.
• ‘06 sickness/Congressional “culture of corruption,” with Republicans showing Reaganesque — which is to say, delusional — optimism.
• Goss’s departure: Not did he jump or was he pushed but rather, “Pushed, shoved, or run over with a truck and stomped on the face?”

Quotes to live by:
• Saxby Chambliss on Hayden: He is “just a class individual” (as someone who questioned the patriotism of a paraplegic, he knows class!)
• George Stephanopolous makes right wing bias hunters’ heads explode: “That was not one of the top four pieces of legislation that Speaker Pelosi…ah, I don’t know why I have that stuck in my head today…”
• Chris Wallace masters the obvious: “I don’t have to tell you, you are the chairman of the intelligence committee.”
• George Will teases the Kennedy story: “One reason this story touched all of this city’s erogenous zones…”
• Bill Kristol looks on the bright side: “I’m looking forward to getting more sex into this scandal.”
• David Brooks auditions to be Maureen Dowd: “This has more layers than a Tom Clancy novel.”

Your full-on weekend chat soup after the jump.

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