chris wallace

Today is the 50th anniversary of the day some acting-alone asshole, or maybe a bunch of assholes at the CIA or the FBI or the mob or the men’s-room attendant at the White House went and shot up that nice handsome president and ruined a perfectly good pink dress. You know all that, of course, […]

From the keen analytical mind of Fox Sunday’s Chris Wallace, this explanation of why the Affordable Care Act is just a giant pink furry ball of fail: “One of the problems so far is that many more people are signing up for Medicaid than are signing up to the private insurance plans in the market […]

Tucker Carlson is a man who does not like racism, nosiree. That is why, when the president, a known black man, spoke to the Congressional Black Caucus about the threats to defund or repeal Obamacare, and said “we’ve overcome far darker threats than those,” Tucker Carlson knew down to the very marrow of his unracist […]

Ted Cruz is so serious about defunding Obamacare (which is totes going to happen this time) that he has a serious backup plan: maybe the House could threaten to shut down the military? How would you like that, Obama, huh?

Remember last August when Lord Mittens Willington Hair Helmet Nom Nom Romney XIV was running for vicar or Lobster King or some such shit, and we would report on every syllable out of his mouth because that is how we roll during the interminable election season? Well it is one year later and not much […]

“Why is Congress full of morons, Eric Cantor? Why does it suck so very very hard, Eric Cantor? Why is attempting to repeal Obamacare your go-to solution for just about every pressing problem facing the American people, Eric Cantor? Aren’t we heading for a major disaster because you guys are too busy playing grabass to […]

Former Senator, 1996 GOP Presidential candidate, and pioneer of referring to himself in the third person Bob Dole sat down for a Fox News Sunday interview with newsmanniken Chris Wallace, and said, to the surprise of virtually no one, that the modern GOP is more interested in obstructing Barack Obama than in getting anything done […]

Mitt Romney got his ass handed to him last night, but to be fair, sometimes he handed himself his own ass, like when he claimed that Syria was Iran’s “route to the sea” and also, most of the other times that he opened his mouth and words came out. (Maybe the moderator could have helped […]

She’d killed him. She’d killed Mitt. She’d stuck her blade between his ribs, counting down from the top to mark where his heart was. (In this story, Mitt Romney had a heart.) And now everyone was going fucking nuts. Twitchy was mouthing off to Big Bill. Chris Wallace was struggling to find the gonads to […]

Chris Wallace, son of Mike, may be a creepo Republican apologist, but he occasionally asks really great tough questions even of his own team. Watch in horror alongside him, as he realizes Steve Doocy of Fox & Friends is roasting marshmallows with his hands. (They not only reject global warming, they also don’t believe those […]

Here’s something fun about Thursday’s Supreme Court Ruling (which, in case you have been living on Mars in a cave with your fingers in your ears, upheld the Affordable Care Act): it has gotten certain Republicans (like *cough* Mitch McConnell *cough*) so upset that they are going on the teevee and ACTUALLY SAYING WHAT THEY […]

Most of us missed yesterday’s episode of “Fox News Sunday,” because Sunday is the Lord’s Day, the day when you crawl off the couch and dirtbike to church so you can show Jesus the new unregistered semiautomatic you purchased at Walmart. But anyway, back to this Fox News segment: Chris Wallace blurts out something about […]

Barbara Bush the Younger was on Fox News Sunday on Fox News Sunday to talk about some new scheme to “bring health equity to the U.S. and Africa,” and shocked Chris Wallace by admitting that she was not against our Socialissimo forcing patriots to have something that pays to fix their hearts after the fried […]

It’s “purely coincidental” that Chris Wallace has been continually plagued with painful bouts of “the mud butt” since 9/11. [Think Progress] General Russel Honoré, affectionately known as Cojones Honoré, might pop a plump nut all over David Vitter’s senate seat (which is really just a taxidermied hooker). [TPM] Everyone in L.A. is just getting so […]

Obama will get to keep his precious BlackBerry after all, except he be using some weird fancy encrypted BlackBerry that Michelle will buy for him from J.Crew. [Marc Ambinder] The victims of yesterday’s tragic inconvenience, in which some earnest hippies were stuck underground for a bit and then later turned away from their Inauguration “seats”, […]