Tag Archives: chris matthews

  you don't say

BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War

We are so good at lies!
Everybody with two brain cells to rub together at least SUSPECTS that there was some fishy business in the run-up to the war on Iraq, what with the fact Saddam had not attacked us, no WMDs were ever found, etc. And Iraq is back in the news right now, mostly because Jeb Bush, brother of brush-clearing, flightsuit-wearing George W. Bush, has been stepping all over his own dick for a week, trying to explain how the Iraq war wasn’t a mistake, except that it was, NO YOU SHUT UP, etc. Marco Rubio got in on the action too, dancing a jaunty jig on his own dick, because Questions Is Tough. Read more on BREAKING: Bush And Cheney MAY HAVE Said Some Lies In Lead-Up To Iraq War…
  Paying Workers Is Just Another Form Of Socialism

On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment

Well why not raise the minimum wage to a jillion an hour, then, huh?
Following the State of the Union address Tuesday, hunky but vapid Illinois Congressmeat Aaron Schock offered this wisdom on the Twitter Machine: It’s so true! Raising the minimum wage won’t eliminate poverty, so it’s clearly not worth doing. Rachel Maddow asked Schock to explain himself, and he went straight to the GOP myth that the minimum wage is a “starting wage,” and only teenagers and people just starting a first job make minimum wage. Isn’t it nice to know that the GOP is the party of economic realists? Maddow noted that it’s a pretty obvious fact that living on $10.10 an hour is a lot easier than $7.25 an hour, to which Schock had the perfect smart reply: Read more on On Minimum Wage, GOP Offers Only Toxic (Aaron) Schock Treatment…
  Taxed To Death (Plus Some Asphyxiation)

Rand Paul Explains How Taxes Murdered Eric Garner

He's got nothin' ... yet
As we’ve noted before about Rand Paul, he’s a big-picture guy. He doesn’t get bogged down too much in nuances when he can instead find the Important Libertarian Principle in any situation. He approaches every possible topic as if it were a late-night debate in a dorm room, which is how he can equate “not deporting people” with “putting people in internment camps” with a straight face, because both are examples of “executive overreach.” Read more on Rand Paul Explains How Taxes Murdered Eric Garner…
  won't someone think of the children?

Peggy Noonan Sure A Few Hundred Troops Would Solve This Nigeria Thing, Just Like In Grenada

Would it surprise her fans to know she did not believe in America showing off its military might with parades and ostentatious displays? After all, she had aligned herself with the far more jingoistic end of the country’s political spectrum for her entire adult life. Still, Peggy Noonan of the Order of the Sisters of Infinite Befuddlement came from good, humble Ohio stock, solidly rooted in Midwestern values. She had been uncomfortable with the martial victory parades after the first Gulf War, though she didn’t sour on George W. Bush’s aircraft carrier landing until after the occupation of Iraq had gone off the rails. She sighed and cracked some more ice into her glass. She would never live down that Hardball appearance. Damn that Chris Matthews and his jokey Irish bonhomie and that sixer of Iron City he’d brought into the Green Room just before showtime! “C’mon Peggy, you’re not too good to drink a good old Pennsylvania brew, even with a liberal, are you?” he had growled, popping open a can and waving it under her nose so that the boozy scent opened her pores and lightning exploded across the reward center of her brain, and she heard her voice as if from a great distance say “I suppose two or three couldn’t hurt…” Read more on Peggy Noonan Sure A Few Hundred Troops Would Solve This Nigeria Thing, Just Like In Grenada…
  he has heard the mermen singing

Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G

Media Watchdog Ben Shapiro saw something nasty on the teevee. He did not like it. No sir, he did not like it one bit. He did not like Chris Matthews’ interview with Barack Obama one single itty-bitty bit. As the interview aired, Shapiro tweeted, A new television show asks the question: how close can platonic male love get without spilling over into sexuality? It’s called #Hardball. And then he wrote it all up for Breitbart, with the headline “Date Night: Matthews Throws Softballs to Obama” — get it? Balls! Just like the title of the show, only soft! Reading between the lines, we almost think that Shapiro is suggesting that Chris Matthews and Barry Bamz are gay homosexuals who are in Big Gay Love with each other and will make gay sex soon. Or perhaps we’re overthinking it. Read more on Ben Shapiro Saw Chris Matthews And Barack On Teevee, K-I-S-S-I-N-G…
  love child stay away from me

Chris Matthews Basically Sexually Harassing Ronan Farrow Now, Come On, Like You Wouldn’t

What is up with Ronan Farrow? He is getting “razzed” by Chris Matthews, for totally and utterly being the secret love child of Frank Sinatra (gross) and Mia Farrow (cool). MSNBC President Phil Griffin hosted a launch party, Wednesday night, for Hardball host Chris Matthews‘ new book Tip and the Gipper: When Politics Worked. Following a toast by Griffin, Matthews delivered several minutes of off-the-cuff remarks, including a riff on new MSNBC host Ronan Farrow‘s parentage. He told the crowd that he was “trying to figure out who the father is,” and put Ronan on the spot by announcing “he’s gonna tell us who his dad was.” Read more on Chris Matthews Basically Sexually Harassing Ronan Farrow Now, Come On, Like You Wouldn’t…
  Chris Matthews Needs To STFU Forever

Chris Matthews Cannot Believe Wife Beating — In The Home, Even! — Is, Like, A Real Thing

Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy Oh, Chris Matthews, you disgusting pile of ugh. We do not even know what to say about the latest diarrhea that came out of your face while you were coffee klatching with Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC except (a) Seriously? (b) Why do you have a job still? and (c) SERIOUSLY???? Read more on Chris Matthews Cannot Believe Wife Beating — In The Home, Even! — Is, Like, A Real Thing…
  good guys and bad guys with guns

Yeah, No, Seriously, Los Angeles Spree-Killer Cop Is Really, *REALLY* Liberal

We have already read about what made Los Angeles spree-killin’ cop Christopher Dorner go Django on the entire LAPD (and their families). It was LAPD racisms. So we know who (and what) he hates. But who does he love? Just about all your typical libtards, like Hillary Clinton and Larry David and Ellen Degeneres and Anderson Cooper and Joe Scarborough and Chris Christie and Jon Huntsman. What? After the jump, some extensive selections from his manifesto (this one uncensored), which we had kind of stopped reading after we got through the racisms parts, where he espouses best wishes for women in the military, Hillary (or Christie!) 2016, and burning hell for the Westboro Baptist Church and the NRA’s Wayne LaPierre, because nobody (including himself) needs the kind of fucking arsenal with which he is currently terrorizing the country’s second biggest metropolis, and where your Editrix is currently never leaving her apartment again. Read more on Yeah, No, Seriously, Los Angeles Spree-Killer Cop Is Really, *REALLY* Liberal…
  on steno pool duty

Mitt Romney Says Something, CNN Writes it Down

Can you type? Or if you can’t type, can you tell like an intern or somebody that you need something typed? Because if you do, you might have a shot at becoming a political producer for CNN, given that these skills are a prerequisite for the job, which seems mainly to consist of typing things that other people said, and then connecting them until they look kind of like an article. Read more on Mitt Romney Says Something, CNN Writes it Down…
  we would not have been who we were

Chris Matthews: Cable News Never Would Have Let That Bad Iraq Reporting Go Unchecked

We don’t know what his exact words were, but according to this write-up of a recent media panel in Boston, Chris Matthews was cryogenically frozen during the years 2002 and 2003: “Hardball host Chris Matthews argued that because of the rise of opinion-based news networks, the non-critical aspect of the media is gone, going as far to say that the reporting that verified the U.S. administration’s claims about weapons of mass destruction in Iraq in 2002 would not happen today because of cable news.” Yep, back in 2002 alright we didn’t have any of these serious cable news channels to provide accountability. There was one channel on the television box and one broadsheet newspaper in the entire country, The New Amsterdam Revue-McDiggity. Beyond that, astrology was your best means of arriving at the truth. Read more on Chris Matthews: Cable News Never Would Have Let That Bad Iraq Reporting Go Unchecked…
  cool stories bro

Chris Matthews: Dems Love Illegals; Show Me the Birth Certificate

What’s Chris Matthews been up to the last couple of days? Oh, just looking for a conservative talk-radio gig. Here he is saying Democrats have decided to do nothing about immigration reform because they love illegal immigration so much. And that Obama is going after those who hire illegal immigrants only because he wants the Republicans to let him have more illegal immigrants, or something. Huh? And also Chris Matthews now needs to see Obama’s birth certificate. Hmm. Read more on Chris Matthews: Dems Love Illegals; Show Me the Birth Certificate…
  nightmares

Carl Paladino Has a Baseball Bat: The Best of Last Night’s Coverage

What is going on with Bachmann in this video? Her face is just unnatural, for one, but God, is her whole point of going on with those cackling MSNBC bitters just so there will be a clip of her making fun of that evil librul channel to pass around in fundraising e-mails? She has no idea that Chris Matthews is making her look bad, and if Chris Matthews is making you look bad, you’re doing something terribly wrong. Other great clips we’ve collected from last night: Christine O’Donnell’s victory speech, Carl Paladino suddenly appearing with a baseball bat at his podium, and Joe Manchin being undermined by a small child in a fedora. Read more on Carl Paladino Has a Baseball Bat: The Best of Last Night’s Coverage…
  neo-black people

This Is Not The Chris Matthews Clip We Wanted But It Will Work

When Chris Matthews forgot that Barack Obama was Kenyan for an hour, we remembered that Chris Matthews was insane, his whole life, back to the zygote stage. (“LEMME OUT, CHRIST ALMIGHTY…”) So here’s to more daily Tweety hilarity from now on. Operative “Tom S,” for one, caught this last night: “At about 1 minute before Hardball ended tonight, Tweety was discussing with his guests Obama at the Republican retreat the other day. He compared it ‘Gulliver’s Travels’ in which – and I quote – ‘the guy’s tied down by all the midgets.'” Unfortunately we could not procure this clip, so here’s some other one. [YouTube] Read more on This Is Not The Chris Matthews Clip We Wanted But It Will Work…
  ahhahahhahahaha

Chris Matthews Has An Apology On The Way

So Obama said he didn’t like TARP but thought it was necessary. This led Chris Matthews to say, “I forgot he was black tonight, for an hour.” Ha ha, well hopefully he remembers now. America’s future depends on him knowing this. [Think Progress] Read more on Chris Matthews Has An Apology On The Way…
  enemies of humanity

K-Lo Defends Obama From Mean Old Chris Matthews

You have probably seen this like ten times by now, where Chris Matthews says Obama went into “the enemy camp” (the White Army) to deliver his speech last night. Shockingly, this pissed off no one more than National Review‘s Kathryn Jean “Jonah Goldberg” Lopez, who declared this moment MSNBC’s “new shameful low” and added, “Chris, he’s commander-in-chief.” What is she THINKING! K-Lo, you’re K-Lo. Hopefully the millions of hateful wingnut e-mails she’s received for uttering this lie will straighten her out. Meanwhile, Meghan McCain had a different reaction. Read more on K-Lo Defends Obama From Mean Old Chris Matthews…
  people watch cable news for information

Whoa Hey, Dick Cheney Guest-Hosted ‘Hardball’

Chris Matthews, he’s goin’ nuts. Meh. Most of the “issues” on this laundry list are trivial, gossipy tabloid fodder. The only Serious policy item would have to be, in Tweety’s words, “Why DID he bow to that Japanese emperor?” It’s unclear which of the Japanese emperors he’s referring to. [YouTube] Read more on Whoa Hey, Dick Cheney Guest-Hosted ‘Hardball’…
  ostensibly about foreign policy

Frank Gaffney Knew Ronald Reagan, Sir, And Ronald Reagan Would HATE This Other Ron Reagan

A TAWDRY WORDFIGHT erupted yesterday on the Chris Matthews program between Frank Gaffney, some shouty, mid-level hawk, and Ronald Reagan’s son, Ron Reagan. “Do you want the Taliban to be Afghanistan’s government?? Taliban, Ron,” Gaffney screams at Reagan, who’s like, “…” Then Reagan essentially tells Frank Gaffney that he and all his stupid arguments are red herrings, like red herrings in a barrel that you shoot easily. And then, THEN, Gaffney’s all, “Your father must hate you so hard from beyond the grave.” This displeases Ron Reagan so! [TPM] Read more on Frank Gaffney Knew Ronald Reagan, Sir, And Ronald Reagan Would HATE This Other Ron Reagan…
  omfg

Watergate Criminal/Birther G. Gordon Liddy Almost Dies On TeeVee

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy We’re in a weird time, folks, a very weird time. Here, psychotic near-dead Watergate burglar G. Gordon Liddy rasps and mumbles as a pretty pissed-off Chris Matthews tries to drag this particular racist night worm of pathetic American thought into the light. Good fucking god, we are really on a cliff here. Read more on Watergate Criminal/Birther G. Gordon Liddy Almost Dies On TeeVee…
  chicago breaking news!

FITZGERALD GOING NUTS AGAIN: Breaking news from Chicago! According to the Chicago Breaking News Center, “The U.S. Attorney’s Office in Chicago said it will hold a press conference at 2 p.m. today to announce public corruption charges. Sources say it is expected to be an indictment of an elected official.” Is it Roland Burris, after Chris Matthews was racist to him for a while? But he was never elected! In that case, “meh.” [Chicago Breaking News] Read more on …
  enhanced interrogation techniques

Chris Matthews Spends An Eternity Badgering Roland Burris On ‘Hardball’

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy A wise man once said, “Do not watch television. It will only make you sad and empty.” And here is proof: 20 agonizing minutes of Chris Matthews shouting at Roland Burris, who tries to explain why that stuff he said on that FBI wiretap doesn’t prove that he was involved in any tomfoolery with Rod Blagojevich to snag his Senate appointment. It just kind of goes on and on in that fashion and just when you think it will end Matthews says, “OK Senator I like you, I think you’re a good guy, I’m going to give you one more chance to explain yourself” and that’s when you know you’re in for another eternity of torture. Why couldn’t Roland Burris have gotten involved in something fun and interesting, like a hooker scandal? [MSNBC] Read more on Chris Matthews Spends An Eternity Badgering Roland Burris On ‘Hardball’…
  rumors on the weekend talk shows

Jindal To Run For Senate in 2010?

Bobby Jindal was supposed to be elected President in 2012 after America realized what a goofball Barack Obama was, spending money on volcano research and other pointless endeavors while a budget hawk like Jindal waited in the wings ready to swoop in with hot money-saving tips. But now Jindal’s, and indeed America’s, dreams may be put on hold while Jindal runs for Senate instead. Read more on Jindal To Run For Senate in 2010?…