The fourth place position in Iowa offers a spot in New Hampshire’s forum and GAME IS ON, SIRS. Because New Hampshire… New Hampshire’s the ticket! That’s where kings are made, in… New Hampshire… oh fuck it, just vote for the black guy.

Unattractive Senator Chris Dodd told Fox News that if he didn’t finish stronger than fourth place tonight (tough call between him and the top three) he would be “going to Hartford tomorrow.” This is a pretty sure sign he means he’ll end his campaign because he had moved his family to Iowa in order to do well there. Wouldn’t at least one fucking kid speak up and be like “Dad, I’ll move when you stop being in sixth place”? [Politico]

Think of how tough it must be tonight to be one of Chris Dodd’s zero supporters. Also, the caucus in “Persia” is apparently over, and the Iranians have chosen John Edwards as Ayatollah.

CNN Election Central

• This black man is slowing turning white. On television. [Work in Progress]

• Instead of called “Kellogg Brown & Root”, they should call it “We Rape Everybody Company.” [Think Progress]
• Edwards Christmas ad conspicuously cross-less. [Election Central]
• But how can Chris Dodd run for Majority Leader is he’s going to be president? [Political Wire]
• Bin Laden will soon be president of Pakistan. [WorldNet Daily]
• GOP like the KKK? You said it, not me. [Raw Story]
  

Chris Dodd wants to be the next President of the United States! Well, maybe he does but some politicians do actually have a firm grasp on reality and, at this point, I’m pretty sure knows he’s not going to be. So why do all the second- and third- and Mars-tier candidates stay in the race? I mean, besides trying to snap up the VP or a Cabinet position later? Why, it’s the issues, of course! Chris Dodd’s campaign manager explains after the jump.

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Sometimes we at Wonkette HQ wonder if there are so many interminable debates between candidates in order to bore all but the most insanely interested primary voters away from the polls. They are dull, and scripted and filled with planted questions about jewelry that make us want to stick forks in our eyes. But, maybe, this YouTube debate idea could be slightly interesting if done Chris Dodd style. Chris submitted his own YouTube video question (above) to be asked to Republican candidates. At this point, we feel the only way to possibly liven up these debates would be to forget about “real” Americans with their boring questions and just let the candidates snipe at each other over YouTube. Let’s get Richardson to ask Tancredo about immigration and Kucinich to ask Giuliani about his anti-ferret crusades and Hillary to ask Mitt “boxers or briefs” or something so he has to talk about his special underwear. Screw real people, we just finally want to see the candidates mess with each other.

Senate stalker and political blogger Bob Geiger, writing for HuffPo today, offered Sen. Chris Dodd a lengthy endorsement for the Democratic nomination. This makes him the third or fourth person EVER to do that, by our calculations. But what about the Connecticut middler appeals so much to Geiger’s discriminating palette? Not really sure. What, do you think we’d actually read this whole thing? It’s like 942 paragraphs. From what we gathered, however, Geiger is impressed by Dodd’s pledge to leave Iraq by 2013. And he thinks that “this is what real leadership looks like.” Plus some other stuff. You try finishing it!

A Time For True Leadership: Chris Dodd For President [HuffPo]

Good morning! Princess Sparkle Pony here, and I’ll be tarting the place up today and tomorrow as guest blogger. I don’t know about you, but few things are more important to me than what grows out of the heads of the various presidential candidates, and I’m not talking about the extra face on the back of Dennis Kucinich’s noggin (have you ever seen a photo of the back of his head? I didn’t think so.)! MORE »

* We’re glad to know that Hillary gives someone a boner. [Wizbang] MORE »

Joe Biden is a big wheel in the Senate, where he’s been for 500 years or something, but of course no one outside of Amtrak’s northeast corridor has ever even heard of him, so this running for president thing is not going very well for him. Because apparently you have to go to Iowa?! And Biden is v v busy running the Foreign Relations Committee so all these “coffee-and-scones meetings” in towns with goofy names like “Newton” are a little hard to get to. MORE »

Chris Dodd on Rudy’s $9.11 fundraiser: “Absolutely unconscionable, shameless and sickening.” [CNN Ticker]