Wonkette

So has any candidate from either party come away from this presidential election with more than Ron Paul? Many dumb failures from Congress run every four years and then, after losing terribly, slink back to whichever invisible subcommittee it is that lets them hold the #3 ranking based on seniority, sure. But did Chris Dodd score lucrative book deals after his quite pointless campaign? No. Ron Paul’s failed campaign, on the other hand, brainwashed just enough hobos to guarantee that he can write multimillion dollar bestsellers, about ANYTHING, for the rest of his life. Earlier this year his book Revolution: A Manifesto, became a #1 New York Times bestseller. And now he’s signed up for an Important Follow-up, the comical title of which will be Revolution: A Memoir, about the psychological import of his early masturbatory experimentation. [New York Observer]

CHRIS DODD ENDORSES OBAMA: So, funny story: some senator called “Christopher Dodd” apparently ran for president this time. He had beautiful thick white hair and loads of experience, and nobody cared about him until he endorsed Barack Obama and singlehandedly threw the election to the freshman senator from Illinois, the end. [Hartford Courant]

Did you hear how there’s this really tight Democratic majority in the Senate that isn’t really enough to allow them to do very much? Gosh, it seems, then, like losing 4 Democratic Senators (and 1 “maverick” Republican) to the Presidential campaign might be problematic, especially if two of those 4 chair Committees! But now that Biden and Dodd are slinking back to D.C., they might actually get some of the work done that we’re all paying them to do! Dodd’s going to get back to maybe doing something about that ongoing mortgage crisis thingie, while Biden is going to weigh in on Pakistan and then get around to re-authorizing international AIDS eradication programs. So, don’t cry any longer, Dodd daughters! Daddy’s got other ways to save the world! [CQ Politics, The Examiner]

THE DODDPOD GOES SILENT: Chris Dodd is out, as we all assumed. Good-bye, Chris. You really never gave us a reason to hate you, even if you dragged your children to Iowa.

The fourth place position in Iowa offers a spot in New Hampshire’s forum and GAME IS ON, SIRS. Because New Hampshire… New Hampshire’s the ticket! That’s where kings are made, in… New Hampshire… oh fuck it, just vote for the black guy.

Unattractive Senator Chris Dodd told Fox News that if he didn’t finish stronger than fourth place tonight (tough call between him and the top three) he would be “going to Hartford tomorrow.” This is a pretty sure sign he means he’ll end his campaign because he had moved his family to Iowa in order to do well there. Wouldn’t at least one fucking kid speak up and be like “Dad, I’ll move when you stop being in sixth place”? [Politico]

Think of how tough it must be tonight to be one of Chris Dodd’s zero supporters. Also, the caucus in “Persia” is apparently over, and the Iranians have chosen John Edwards as Ayatollah.

CNN Election Central

• This black man is slowing turning white. On television. [Work in Progress]

• Instead of called “Kellogg Brown & Root”, they should call it “We Rape Everybody Company.” [Think Progress]
• Edwards Christmas ad conspicuously cross-less. [Election Central]
• But how can Chris Dodd run for Majority Leader is he’s going to be president? [Political Wire]
• Bin Laden will soon be president of Pakistan. [WorldNet Daily]
• GOP like the KKK? You said it, not me. [Raw Story]
  

Chris Dodd wants to be the next President of the United States! Well, maybe he does but some politicians do actually have a firm grasp on reality and, at this point, I’m pretty sure knows he’s not going to be. So why do all the second- and third- and Mars-tier candidates stay in the race? I mean, besides trying to snap up the VP or a Cabinet position later? Why, it’s the issues, of course! Chris Dodd’s campaign manager explains after the jump.

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Sometimes we at Wonkette HQ wonder if there are so many interminable debates between candidates in order to bore all but the most insanely interested primary voters away from the polls. They are dull, and scripted and filled with planted questions about jewelry that make us want to stick forks in our eyes. But, maybe, this YouTube debate idea could be slightly interesting if done Chris Dodd style. Chris submitted his own YouTube video question (above) to be asked to Republican candidates. At this point, we feel the only way to possibly liven up these debates would be to forget about “real” Americans with their boring questions and just let the candidates snipe at each other over YouTube. Let’s get Richardson to ask Tancredo about immigration and Kucinich to ask Giuliani about his anti-ferret crusades and Hillary to ask Mitt “boxers or briefs” or something so he has to talk about his special underwear. Screw real people, we just finally want to see the candidates mess with each other.