Tag: chris coons

Holy Shit, Just How Much Did Donald Trump Jr. Lie To The Senate Today?

Sounds like he lied A WHOLE FUCKIN' LOT.
The nominee and his nipples

Scott Brown Drives His Man-Truck To Victory In Massachusetts Or Whatever: Your Final Primary Wrap-Up!

The last primaries of 2014 took place last night, and there's a fun upset-not-upset in the mix! Up in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts (God Save It! © Charles P. Pierce), lantern-jawed newcomer Seth Moulton became the first Democrat in...

Senate Decides That Lawyers Who Defend Criminals Shouldn’t Really Be Lawyers

Is your Twitter timeline full of nothing but the Senate failing to confirm Debo Adegbile? Are you having to cut and paste Debo Adegbile over and over to tweet about it, because you won't remember how to spell it?...

More Democrats Squeamish About Trying To Win Presidential Election

If you thought that the full chorus of national voices in the Democratic party might have no problem with -- and in fact would embrace, not merely for political reasons but also because they believe it and consider it...

Don’t Tell Us You May Actually Elect Christine O’Donnell, Delaware

"Coons Camp Expresses Turnout Worries." "Delaware Dems claim GOP intimidation by O'Donnell backers, worry over turnout." OH C'MON, YOU GUYS. Don't tell us this could actually happen. We refuse to believe Americans can actually elect this person to high...

Democrats Deny Existence Of Human-Mouse Hybrid Monsters

Election Day is coming soon (not soon enough though, we hate it!), and everyone has run out of money to spend -- everyone except for the Republicans, that is. The Democrats are so poor and destitute that they are...

Also, Christine O’Donnell Has No Idea Who Is In the U.S. Senate

Oh, the Democrat in the U.S. Senate Christine O'Donnell would work well with would be Hillary Clinton! That's very interesting. You see, Christine O'Donnell somehow knows she will be allowed on the Committee on Foreign Relations. This would certainly...

Christine O’Donnell Shocks Delaware By Not Knowing First Amendment

Staying true to her background as a character from a 1990s teevee show, Christine O'Donnell was in her state today talking about teaching creationism in schools, because she wants children to have the math and science skills to get...

Barack Obama and Joe Biden’s Delaware Witch Hunt

It's your fun vice president, Joe Biden! Why won't he get into the SUV-limousine thing like his security team keeps telling him? Because this is Wilmington, and Joe Biden knows every single person in town, so he keeps jabbering...

Scientist Proves Teabagger Signs Aren’t Racist, Exposes Media Conspiracy

A graduate student from UCLA photographed 250 signs that she saw at the 9/12 FreedomWorks rally, and then did scientific experiments to determine whether these signs were racist or not. The grad student's analysis found "only about a quarter...

Liveblogging Christine O’Donnell’s Big Witchy Jerk-Off Debate

Did Tolkien ever depict a Senate debate in any of those Lord of the Rings books? Probably not, right? Because every character is too busy being Catholic and feminist? Yeah. So there is literally nothing to guide Christine O'Donnell...

Christine O’Donnell’s Debating Tonight? Sure, We’ll Liveblog That

This should be entertaining: Christine O'Donnell is debating her opponent Chris Coons tonight on national teevee. Why does Chris Coons see the need to debate her? He doesn't. He just knows that his poll numbers get better every time...

Delaware Embarrassment Christine O’Donnell Debates Yale Divinity Elitist!

Meatball Succubus Christine O'Donnell has a big teevee showdown tonight with normal person Chris Coons. The debate will be held at the University of Delaware, so this will be the first time Christine O'Donnell actually steps foot in a...

Christine O’Donnell Releases Self-Parody ‘I Didn’t Go To Yale’ Video

Christine O'Donnell caused widespread panic and nearly crashed every stock market when she announced, "I'm YOU!" Everyone who heard this horrific claim immediately went to their local Walmart and bought fifty-pound sacks of rat poison and Crayola sparkle markers,...

Oxford Wannabe Christine O’Donnell Opposed To ‘Yale Values,’ On Twitter

While it's true the Ivy League is nothing more than a sleepaway camp that churns out future war criminals, this is almost completely unrelated to the simple fact that Christine O'Donnell has absolutely no idea what she's talking about...