December 6, 2013
As flags across New Jersey fly at half-staff in remembrance of beloved teevee man James Gandolfini, dozens of Garden State politicians are scrambling to explain their connections to an illegal pay-t0-play scheme that wouldn’t have felt out of place in one of the more boring episodes of The Sopranos. Here’s how it worked: the bankrupt [...]
Here’s a poll from Gallup that nicely encapsulates why the Republican party is so screwed: Among Republicans, Paul Ryan is the top choice out of five prospective candidates to lose the presidency to Hillary in 2016 (the others were, in order, Rubio, that amateur dentist fellow, a known Canadian anchor baby, and Chris Christie), but [...]
Pronounced… Chi-ee-sa? Cheez-a? She’s-a? Who knows, and who cares! New Jersey Governor Chris Christie has named State Attorney General Jeffrey S. Cheesa to be Frank Lautenberg until New Jersey can pick a new one on a day when Chris Christie won’t be running for Governor again, please and thank you. So is this guy a [...]
Gov. Christie has returned from the wilderness where he was in communion with The Great Smog God of Turnpike Exit 7-A, and has made his official declaration about how to fill Sen. Lautenberg’s recently vacated Senate seat.
You know who died? Besides Edith Bunker? New Jersey Democratic senator, actual son of a millworker and up from his bootstraps millionaire, almost-nonegenarian, and yeller at that whippersnapper Cory Booker Frank Lautenberg died, that is who. At 89, he was the oldest member of the Senate, and the last World War II veteran in the [...]
Is “Snooki” still even a thing? We guess maybe Snooki is still a thing. We mean, sure, she’s got a pulse and all, which is good for her, don’t get us wrong. But even as a punchline, isn’t she well past her sell-by date? Even for Political Savant Jay Leno? But apparently she is still [...]
It was a scene to make the spirit of John Hughes weep tears of being dead: Chris Christie and Barack Obama, the founding bros of the bromance that has come to define the term, reunited at Bruce Springsteen’s The Jersey Shore — the very place where their first electric, forbidden tryst launched like $20 billion [...]
So we wake up today and the world is all a-flutter about how Chris Christie had weight reduction surgery. (Yeah, yeah, we know people were talking about it last night, but we were busy watching the Met Gala and trying to figure out what the hell Beyonce was wearing. Sue us.) Where were we? Oh, [...]
We have already read about what made Los Angeles spree-killin’ cop Christopher Dorner go Django on the entire LAPD (and their families). It was LAPD racisms. So we know who (and what) he hates. But who does he love? Just about all your typical libtards, like Hillary Clinton and Larry David and Ellen Degeneres and [...]
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie is so mad, you guys. Right, right, he’s always mad. But listen, some lady doctor from the Clinton White House days had the audacity to state the obvious this week when she said maybe his weight would make him not live all the way through a presidency and that he [...]
You know, we didn’t really think anyone could out-H.A.M. Chris Christie today after dude just UNLOADED on Boehner in a delightful epic of epicness presser after Boehner cockblocked the Sandy relief bill. That was before we learned about one Mr. Philippe Reines who, despite having sort of a wussy Frenchy name, is our new god. [...]
Joe Biden can literally say any fucking thing in the goddamn world, and it does not matter. Said Joey the Biden to Sandy victims to make them feel better and convince them they have a black friend: “So as the president said when he was up here with the governor, we’re not going anywhere. We’re [...]
What did Chris Christie tell Barack Obama, while they canoodled on the phone for seemingly hours? “You hang up.” “No, you hang up.” “You hang up first,” they both repeated fucking endlessly, until they fell asleep with their Blackberries cradled under their drooling, open mouths. And what did he tell Mitt Romney?
Chris Christie, he of the New Jersey governorship, the tough-talkin’, Romney-snubbin’, bum-fightin’ sonofagun who won’t apologize for a damn thing, thank you, has been ensaddened. He loves Bruce Springsteen, you see. He lurves him. He luffs him. But Springsteen doth not return the affection, for Springsteen is a Liberal, and Christie is not. It’s the [...]
One of the most delightful developments of the past week has been seeing New Jersey Governor Chris Christie get evicted from the Republican Party for the crime of being respectful and grateful (in the wake of a hurricane that devastated his state) to the president of the United States, who is a known black person. [...]