chris christie
GOP Convention’s ‘We Built It!’ Theme Night To Be Held In Arena That Government Built
In addition to summoning forth dread hurricanes to (probably) destroy any Florida seniors accidentally left standing in the wake of Paul Ryan’s spending cuts, this year’s GOP convention will bring to Tampa (and viewers whose remote controls are just out of reach) a terribly droll spin on President Obama’s recent musings re: whether or not [...]
Michael Gerson: Mitt Romney Must Let Chris Christie Emasculate Him
All of these conservative dingdongs out there arguing for THE BOLD VICE PRESIDENT OPTION OF DEATH don’t seem to acknowledge that they’re forcing their presidential candidate to essentially humiliate himself and run a bottom-heavy ticket, as if that’s a sign of campaign wellness or augurs an effective administration. They want either Paul Ryan or Chris [...]
Chris Christie Now Getting Into Random Bum Fights With Jersey Shore Passersby
Nope, not kidding. The shouty New Jersey Governor is now yelling at any constituents strolling the scenic Jersey Shore who might happen to take issue with his stance on screaming at teachers (i.e., that he is for it). TMZ has the exciting footage of what looks to be the corpulent mister preparing to chest bump [...]
Screeching New Jersey Fat Man Snags Five Million YouTube Hits
Have you seen those comical YouTubes of the fat man in New Jersey berating people, on YouTube? They’re gold. Usually they’ve got a teacher, a unionized teacher, and this teacher asks the fat man a question and the fat man goes, “DIE YOU AWFUL TEACHER, DIE NOW, DIE DIE DIE,” and the teacher’s all like, [...]
Who Is Chris Christie Yelling At Today?
More like who ISN’T Chris Christie yelling at! It is why America loves him. For reminding us all of an abusive stepdad! Also who doesn’t want to just yell at everybody, all the time? Especially any reporter who would be so stupid, such a moronic idiot, as to actually ask a question that was not [...]
Bruce Springsteen Won’t Even Give Superfan Chris Christie a Handsie
Chris Christie has been to 129 Bruce Springsteen shows, dancing, singing along, jiggling, right up there in the front, while the absolute most overrated musician of all time “The Boss” sings his tunes about 9/11 and the farms and stuff. And over the course of these 129 concerts, how many times has Springsteen climbed down [...]
Nobody Will Let Poor Chris Christie Save Your Pussy From That Tree
Haha, here is a “funny” video from Governor Sammiches, Chris Christie, about how he is so jealous of perfect angel Newark Mayor Cory Booker, last seen breaking and entering into a burning building and abducting the woman therein. Except that it is actually funny? It’s okay dudes, you can still hate him afterwards. Nobody’s here [...]
Chris Christie Sends Obamacare Back To Kitchen
The rightful good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, after weeks of speculation about whether he would veto a bill setting up Obamacare health exchanges in his state, has obviously done that. Now hundreds of thousands of people in New Jersey, lest the feddy gov step in, will have to continue receiving health care by their [...]
Chris Christie Does Jerusalem: Vacation Pix!
The Good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, is in Israel, on his first official overseas trip as head of an American state. (He’s making up for President Obama, who refuses to visit Israel because he Hates Jews.) How many unionized public school teachers will he yell at on YouTube while there? We await [...]
Don’t Worry, Chris Christie’s Gay Friends Know He’s ‘Not Bigoted’
In case you were concerned about Chris Christie and his social life, post-gay marriage veto, he’s gonna be just fine. [Think Progress]
Chris Christie To Rich Old Liberal: ‘Shut Up,’ Rich Old Liberal
Cantankerous Jersey Shore nightclub bouncer Chris Christie found a new IDIOT [SIGH] to holler at yesterday, for being so STUPID. And it wasn’t even a public school teacher or elderly Iowan (very close, though!) or generic constituent politely asking a question. It was Warren Buffett, the scary old billionaire liberal investor who keeps whining about [...]
Chris Christie Looks Forward To Screaming Down Gay Marriage Bill
New Jersey’s Senate passed a gay marriage bill today! Now it will go to the state Assembly, which will pass it, because Assemblies pass everything. Then it will hit the desk of the good Governor Sandwiches of New Jersey, Chris Christie, who will veto it and then curse out some teachers, for his breakfast dessert.
Sarah Palin Under the Impression That Chris Christie Wears ‘Panties’
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, the supposed-to-have-run of the Republican party, declared Newt Gingrich to be an “embarrassment” to the party during an appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press this past weekend, so as usual a Republican is embarrassed by America, since Newt, you know, won the South Carolina primary with many more votes than [...]
Chris Christie Reminds America Romney Is Unemployed Zillionaire
What a thoroughly entertaining news cycle we have been treated to lately! It has been all about two things that combined form one of the most powerful sedatives in history: Mitt Romney and tax returns. Mittens continues to not yet release his tax returns out of a tight-lipped genteel horror at everyone knowing exactly how [...]
Christie Mentor Alex DeCroce Dies in NJ Assembly Bathroom
In a quite unfunny Republican lavatory phenomenon, relatively speaking, the New Jersey Assembly’s Republican leader Alex DeCroce, 75, was found dead Monday night in a bathroom in the New Jersey Statehouse. Eerily, Monday was the last day of the State Legislature’s current session. The cause of death is unclear. DeCroce, who was an early supporter [...]
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