Tag Archives: choice

  Alert Chromeland Security

Anti-Abortion Group Vows To Rebuild After Tragic Glitter Bombing

It starts with glitter...but escalates to streamers and balloons
As if you needed any further proof that there are extremists on both side of the abortion issue, consider the recent heinous attack launched on the anti-abortion website “LifeNews,” which was hit last week with a full-scale assault of glitter mailed in a letter. But it was threatening terrorist glitter, and proof that Both Sides Do It, although one side has been a bit more partial to firebombing clinics and shooting doctors, nurses, and receptionists dead. Read more on Anti-Abortion Group Vows To Rebuild After Tragic Glitter Bombing…
  Fetal Attraction

Alabama Wingnut Judge Will Save All The Fetuses With Legal Magic

Ia! Ia! Cthulhi Ftetus!
Alabama Supreme Court Justice Tom Parker is one of the great legal minds of the “pro-life” movement, whose mission in life is to legally transmute all fertilized eggs into human beings so that abortion will go away forever, and sluts will just have to deal with the consequences of their sluttery like God wants them to. Read more on Alabama Wingnut Judge Will Save All The Fetuses With Legal Magic…
  can't women just follow their husbands at the men's museum?

Michele Bachmann Wants To Abort National Women’s Museum

Michele Bachmann took a courageous stand today against authorizing a National Women’s History Museum that’s proposed for the National Mall. We know the gals like shopping, but instead of the Mall, wouldn’t a better place be the National Kitchen? We’re just glad there’s a woman willing to stand up and say no to women’s history, because it’s not really women’s history, it’s feminist history, and feminists are not ladies. Also, we will say “make me a sammich” right here in hopes it will reduce the number of times that phrase shows up in the comments. Read more on Michele Bachmann Wants To Abort National Women’s Museum…
  Junior Anti-Sex League

What Filthy Things Will You Do To Celebrate Purity Day?

Oh, golly, look at these hip young chaste people who are bravely resisting our filthy culture’s pressure to give in to their animalistic sex drive! They are saving themselves for marriage, and getting ready to celebrate the Day Of Purity on February 14, which the secular world knows as “Arizona Statehood Day.” Day of Purity is sponsored by the “Liberty Counsel,” a Christianist legal group that knows how to to do things that are much more fun than the sexing. For instance, back in 2000, they threatened to sue the Jacksonville, Florida, library system for a reading promotion that would have given kids a “Hogwarts’ Certificate of Accomplishment” for reading a Harry Potter novel, because witchcraft is a religion, and so the library was obviously violating the Establishment Clause of the 1st Amendment. Instead, the library just ended the program, although it stubbornly refused to actually hang any of the young witches or wizards who had already received the certificates. So anyway, PURITY — this is some persuasive ad! It is all about making brave choices, and seeming kind of hip and defiant while you’re at it, telling all the secular influencers in Hollywood and the government schools that no, we are bravely going to not fuck, thank you, because God has a special plan for our wedding night! (God’s special plan is to watch you fumble awkwardly and cry because all you ever learned about sex is that it is dirty until you are married, when it becomes beautiful. Now please go take a cold shower.) Read more on What Filthy Things Will You Do To Celebrate Purity Day?…
  war on women? what war on women?

5th Circuit Reinstates Awful Texas Abortion Regulations, Coat Hanger Futures Skyrocketing

Well, that half-hearted celebration sure was premature. The 5th Circuit Court of Appeals has rescinded Monday’s federal ruling that had found part of Texas’s terrible abortion law unconstitutional, restoring restrictions that will have the effect of closing most of the state’s clinics. “This unanimous decision is a vindication of the careful deliberation by the Texas Legislature to craft a law to protect the health and safety of Texas women,” Attorney General Greg Abbott said in a statement. It is unknown at press time whether Abbott’s pants were literally on fire at the time. Read more on 5th Circuit Reinstates Awful Texas Abortion Regulations, Coat Hanger Futures Skyrocketing…
  analogy fail part deux

Minnesota County Republicans Pull Hilarious Slavery Joke From Facebook Page

The Republican Party of Chisago County, Minnesota, posted this awesome satirical image on its Facebook page for a few hours Wednesday, then removed it — and the entire Facebook page, for a while — before posting an apology, saying that the posting was “not representative of our party.” Aw, come on, guys, enough Republicans have said that the attempt to ban abortion is exactly like the 19th-century abolition movement that you don’t need to apologize. After all, isn’t that exactly the hilarious point of the post, that legalized abortion is just as morally reprehensible as legal slavery? If anything, liberals should apologize for the slogan that inspired the Chisago GOP’s amusing spoof, because choosing not to have an abortion while allowing abortion to remain legal for others is exactly like choosing not to own a slave while slavery as an institution continued, amirite? Read more on Minnesota County Republicans Pull Hilarious Slavery Joke From Facebook Page…
  nice time!

Wendy Davis Announces She Will Announce Something, Possibly About Cute New Shoes

Texas state Senator Wendy Davis, the super filibuster lady who actually gave pro-choice voters hope for a few minutes earlier this year, announced Wednesday that she will make a formal announcement of her future plans on Oct. 3. We’re betting that the upcoming announcement has something to do with either shopping for cute shoes, making a sandwich, or running a kickass campaign for governor in 2014. Probably the shopping. Read more on Wendy Davis Announces She Will Announce Something, Possibly About Cute New Shoes…
  abortion + sex abuse claims + ??? = profit!

Anti-Abortion Plan Funded By Fracking Billionaire About As Ethical As You’d Expect

So here’s some conclusive evidence that hydraulic fracturing is bad for women’s health: A guy who became a billionaire in the industry is bankrolling an effort to persuade lawyers to sue abortion providers for malpractice and put them out of business. Kate Sheppard at Mother Jones reports that a Texas group called “Life Dynamics” is direct mailing tens of thousands of DVDs to attorneys: Read more on Anti-Abortion Plan Funded By Fracking Billionaire About As Ethical As You’d Expect…
  Will this make me grow boobs?

Obama Coming To Your House To Ram Birth Control Pills Down Your Throat, Probably

Bad news. It turns out that Obamacare doesn’t just make birth control freely available. It actually mandates that every man, woman, and child in America take birth control until they grow hair in weird places or whatever those devil pills do to you. It seems strange that they would mandate birth control usage, but that’s the only way the lawsuit from Missouri GOP state representative Paul Wieland makes sense. Paul (we feel like he would want us to call him Paul) is suing the federal government because Obamacare is infringing on his personal religious freedoms and liberties by making his insurance offer him the birth control pill for free. Which I guess means he has to take it? Read more on Obama Coming To Your House To Ram Birth Control Pills Down Your Throat, Probably…
  all the single ladyparts

How Can We Protect Women From Themselves Today?

States like Texas, Ohio, and North Carolina have made great strides in recent days to make sure their women are well-protected and well-informed about pregnancy and abortion, issues that they are rarely able to understand on their own. Mandatory ultrasounds ensure that women know that pregnancy means they are growing a baby inside their tummies, so they can make the best-informed choice about their terrible mistake. Stringent new regulations on abortion clinics mean women will receive the highest possible level of care, or would if the regulations didn’t shut down all the clinics. Bans on abortions after 20 weeks, or even earlier, put the most qualified people — politicians — in charge of women’s difficult medical decisions. But do these measures go far enough to protect women from their own choices? Are women well-informed enough? Clearly not. That’s why Republicans in Congress should introduce the Protecting Women From Themselves Act, which — while preserving the right to an abortion outlined in Roe v. Wade in defiance of basic human decency — would provide common-sense limitations to give women the help they need to make the best decisions they can. What to expect while Protecting Women From Themselves? Read more on How Can We Protect Women From Themselves Today?…
  kids these days I tells ya

Peggy Noonan Does Not Care For Your Babby-Murdering, Young Lady

America, Dame Peggy Noonan has some seriously mixed feelings about Wendy Davis. On the one hand, she’s very impressed with “the story of this young woman, she’s so spirited. You know, she has such energy and she seems to have such commitment.” You know, the young woman who is 50 years old and has been in the Texas Senate for four years, after a decade of serving on the Fort Worth City Council, the sweet li’l thing. Sure, her youthful passion is admirable, but these kids, what do they know? Especially those 50-year-old teen moms who have learned nothing from their experience? Then again, dame Peggy was in her mid-30’s when she wrote words for Ronald Reagan to say, so maybe she knows about how young women get carried away with their passion for politics and spew a bunch of ideas they regret with maturity? Read more on Peggy Noonan Does Not Care For Your Babby-Murdering, Young Lady…
  legislative badass with tired feet

Texas Senator Lady Yammers On About Abortion For 13 Hours, Probably On The Rag (Updated)

Updated Update: After everything seemed to be over, a pleasant surprise: The filibuster worked, and Senate Bill 5 was not passed. See new post here. Tonight, Dear Wonkers,  this filibusterin’ Texas Senate lady, state Sen. Wendy Davis, will prove whether ladies’ bladders are as wee as their brains. Sen. Davis is our newest nominee for Legislative Badass of the Year, and we are rooting for her and her silly lost cause of preserving women’s control over their own bodies. If only she can keep control over her little lady bladder, at least. We would call it Nice Time, but it’s more like Cliffhanger Time. Is there a livestream? Yes, there is a livestream. Read more on Texas Senator Lady Yammers On About Abortion For 13 Hours, Probably On The Rag (Updated)…
  The Rythm's Gonna Zygote Ya

Congratulations, Iowa Womyn! You May Already Be A Murderer!

You were once just two little cells, floating around in goo inside some disgusting lady who probably just had sex. But even back then you were still a complete human being, according to state representative Tom Shaw, one of nine Iowa Republicans who introduced a law that would make the destruction of a zygote subject to a murder charge. Shaw’s bill includes no exception for women who’d like to have the zygote forcibly implanted into them by a rapist removed. Those women, along with any others who exercise their Constitutional right to end a pregnancy, could be tossed into prison, along with the doctor who performs it. Read more on Congratulations, Iowa Womyn! You May Already Be A Murderer!…
  Lies From the Pit Of Hell

Irish Hospital Lets Woman Die Because Her Life Wasn’t ‘Endangered’ Enough For Abortion

We were worried that you, the Wonkette Reader, might not have quite enough rage coursing through you today, and so here is the story, via Dan Savage at The Stranger, of Savita Halappanavar, a 31-year-old woman who died in Galway, Ireland, last month after doctors decided that, although she was already miscarrying and there was no chance her 17-week-old fetus could survive, she didn’t quite qualify to have her life saved because the dying fetus still had a heartbeat. Ireland’s abortion law only allows the procedure when the mother’s life is in danger, just like the “moderate” position that Mitt Romney proposed, and which “pro-life” purists (including the 2012 GOP platform) oppose because, as Congressman Joe Walsh asserted in his final debate before losing his bid for reelection, “pro-life” people believe “There’s no such exception as life of the mother. And as far as health of the mother, same thing, with advances in science and technology, health of the mother has become a tool for abortions anytime under any reason.” And since they are quite sure of this, it is assuredly so. Read more on Irish Hospital Lets Woman Die Because Her Life Wasn’t ‘Endangered’ Enough For Abortion…
  important new columnists

‘New York Neck-Beard’ Douthat Writes Column About Abortion And Gays!

In the words of Brian Lamb, the best human being on Earth, “Hey Ross Douthat, you seen this Wonkette thing here?” It’s a post about your New York Times “young lightning rod conservative” opinion column! It is not his debut — maybe second, or third, or fourth — but it’s the first one we’ve read so deal with it okay? It’s not bad! And because he is, again, a “youth,” he throws in many Internet hyperlinks to his sources. Clicky clicky hooray! So this post will be, unfortunately, a Civilized response to one of his points — that the grain of history favors the pro-life movement — which is less fun than just spitting blood at the computer screen, as we did for Bill Kristol. Read more on ‘New York Neck-Beard’ Douthat Writes Column About Abortion And Gays!…