Wonkette

• EVERYTHING ON EARTH IS ABOUT RACE: Wonkette boring luncheons operative “Beth” sends us this secret dispatch: “I just got back from a luncheon for Washington Gov. Chris Gregoire, headlined by Michelle Obama. Michelle said that her favorite chocolate in the world is Fran’s Chocolates — she said she and Barack fight over them, and hide them from each other. Then she said, ‘He likes the light chocolate, I prefer the dark chocolate.’ We all laughed, then thought, ‘Wait a minute…’” We assume the long awkward silence broke when some white reporter randomly shouted, “that Christopher Rock is the finest jokesmith I’ve seen — of either race! — since, golly, I don’t know when.”

It’s too late for this year, but maybe next Valentine’s Day you can give your favorite Libertarian a sweet treat that’s also a kick in the nuts to the ILLEGAL UNCONSTITUTIONAL “FEDERAL” RESERVE. Start stockpiling now! [RonPaulChocolate.com] MORE »

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

This week: why you will hate it here, if you don’t already.

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* Divine Chocolate is in some way owned by farmers of the Kuapa Kokoo cooperative in Ghana. Comfort Kumeah, a Kuapa Kokoo farmer, will speak at the Divine Chocolate release party at Olsson’s, which includes a free chocolate tasting. At Penn Quarter, 7PM. [Olsson's]
* Thunderbirds Are Now! at the Rock and Roll Hotel with Oxford Collapse and Olympia. $12 at 8PM. [R&R Hotel]
* 1941’s Ball of Fire at AFI. Gary Cooper, Billy Wilder script, and Barbara Stanwyck as a stripper. $9.25 at 7PM. [AFI]

Former White House Pastry Chef Roland Mesnier has been making the gossip column rounds lately promoting his new book, All the Presidents’ Pastries: A Series of Anecdotes That Have Been Picked Through by Various Gossip Columns, So You Probably Don’t Need to Bother Picking This Up, Sorry. We’ve already learned that Mesnier had a healthy disdain for Carter’s fishing ability, and that he hated making comfort food for Bill Clinton. But this brief quote might be the best one we’ve heard yet: MORE »

* Names & Faces: Bono says he feels “exploited” by the use of his photo in campaign literature for Italy’s Silvio Berlusconi. [WP]
* Washington Whispers: Playboy and Penthouse are banned from State Department newsstands at the request of Condoleezza Rice. . . Josh Bolten recently cut work to watch a few Washington Nationals games. . . Fidel Castro could die within the next few years, American officials contend. . . Frank Luntz has a favorable view of Mark Warner. . . Rep. Nancy Pelosi misses the chocolate she gave up for lent. [USN&WR]
* Page Six: Site indicates Sen. Robert Menendez (D-NJ) may have kept a “love nest” with his former chief of staff. . . Jenna once woke Bush up and made him call her then-boyfriend Blake Gottesman after they fought. [NYP]
* Lloyd Groves’s Lowdown: Gore blames Bush for failures surrounding Katrina and 9/11 in the “green issue” of Vanity Fair. [NYDN]
* The Scoop: Susan Sarandon wants national elections to be monitored by a third party: “The last one was an embarrassment. Everybody knew there was fraud, but nothing was done about it.” [MSNBC]

Former Iraqi President Saddam Hussein at Trial [Reuters] MORE »