Tag Archives: chipotle

  Tipgate

Prepare Madame Guillotine: Hillary Clinton Did Not Tip At Fast-Food Restaurant Chipotle Exclamation Point

Don't Americans deserve the truth? Or at least the 'truth'?
It is far too early in the 2016 presidential election cycle to officially declare this is the stupidest story we are going to see, but hot damn, it’ll probably still be a strong contender by Election Day. Read more on Prepare Madame Guillotine: Hillary Clinton Did Not Tip At Fast-Food Restaurant Chipotle Exclamation Point…
  Everybody knows real Mexicans only eat Taco Bell

Fox News: Hungover Hillary Ate At Chipotle To Woo The Spanishes, Newsflash!

This non-story just got even MORE non-storied
Hillary Clinton did a thing, and that thing is eating! Scandal, zomg, Drudge siren, congressional investigations, subpoenas, impeach, KILL US NOW. On Fox News, the “Outnumbered” ladies and the designated Dude o’ The Day had themselves a great laugh about Clinton’s stop at Chipotle in Ohio on Monday. Hosts Andrea Tantaros and Kennedy (yeah, the one who used to be a VJ on MTV) made so many #jokes about it, your sides will ache. Trigger warning for HIGHBROW HUMOR: Read more on Fox News: Hungover Hillary Ate At Chipotle To Woo The Spanishes, Newsflash!…
  communists under the bed

Gay-Homo Gun-Grabbing Enviro-Pussy Burrito-Makers ‘Chipotle’ Being Communists Again :(

Sorry, CHIPOTLE. We bet you think you’re real “cool” with your big phallic Gay Pride burritos and your fairy-pansy-literary bullshit on your bags, but Ben Shapiro’s TRUTHREVOLT is here to lay the SMACKDOWN: you are a bunch of communists, and also you are stupid, so why don’t you shove a giant cock down your throats already, oh you already did that’s why! What’s up, TruthRevolt? Do you have a masterpiece by the title of “I’d Like A Burrito With A Side Of Communism To Go, Please” for us? YOU DO? Read more on Gay-Homo Gun-Grabbing Enviro-Pussy Burrito-Makers ‘Chipotle’ Being Communists Again :(…
  President Typhoid Mary

President’s Last Liberal Supporters Flee After He Reaches Over Chipotle Tuberculosis Guard

Some time ago, Melissa Harris-Perry was pretty mad at all the white liberals for racistly abandoning President Obama, with racism, probably because she forgot we all did the same thing to Bill Clinton. (Don’t act like you didn’t vote for Nader, wonker; we see and know all.) Well, the white libs might not have abandoned Obama before (except the Millennials, who are gonna have a Rand Paul-flavored “Reagan Youth” moment of libertarianism, or we will eat our words, which taste of the very finest bile). Or they might have, if you believe Gallup, OUCH. But now? Now? Now that Obama REACHED OVER THE SNEEZE GUARD at Chipotle, like rules and common decency and typhoid don’t apply to him? Yeah, now the white libs are pissed. You don’t fuck with their middle-manager corporate-drone lunchbreak premium fast food, NOBAMA. Have some GODDAMN RESPECT. Read more on President’s Last Liberal Supporters Flee After He Reaches Over Chipotle Tuberculosis Guard…
  hunting the most derpiest game

Open Carry Gun Humpers Prevail Over NRA, Are Gunniest Nuttiest Humpiest Of All

We are having one hell of a time keeping up with this internecine gun group warfare. It all started Monday, when the grandaddy of all gun-humpers, the NRA, asked some of the open carry folks to please chill because toting machine guns to TGIFriday’s was making the sheeple nervous. The open carry folks, of course, were having none of that, and called the NRA pussies or blew their heads off or however it is that gun nuts fight. You’d hope that the slightly less-batshit NRA prevailed in this instance but hahaha of course not, because the NRA backed down, muttering “our bad” and trying not to make any sudden movements lest they be cut in half by an AK. Read more on Open Carry Gun Humpers Prevail Over NRA, Are Gunniest Nuttiest Humpiest Of All…
  chile con pistola en mano

Chipotle Unfair To Gun-Humpers! Boycott Chipotle!

Oh, golly, folks, looks like another gun-grabbing freedom-hating libertysquisher corporation is trying to Take Away Our Right To Self Protection! After a group of those cheerful souls from Open Carry Tarrant County — the same charmers that scared the living bejesus out of some Jack In the Box workers a while back — made a big show of taking their semiautomatic rifles to lunch at a Dallas Chipotle on Saturday, the company issued a statement Monday asking customers to please leave their guns at home. Needless to say, #BoycottChipotle is now a thing. Read more on Chipotle Unfair To Gun-Humpers! Boycott Chipotle!…
  rumors on the internets

Delete That Crotch Shot Before You Get Famous

This morning, let’s play some games on egalitarianism, read up on libertarian symbols such as soda, and learn how to tweet. Happy Friday! Mayor Bloomberg wants to take away New Yorkers’ giant sodas — nothing over 16 oz. It’s already too late, man, we’re never all going to fit into the N train, no matter what you do. [The Daily Beast] Read more on Delete That Crotch Shot Before You Get Famous…
  food/booze news!

Cereal, Wine, Burritos and Excuses To Indulge

Thursday, December 10: The Washington Post may be shutting down bureaus and upping its price (ha ha, it’s dying), BUT it’s still hosting happy hours. The Post‘s Gurus host their monthly Going Out Guide Happy Hour tomorrow from 6PM-8PM at Buffalo Billiards, and Santa will even be making a guest appearance. Read more on Cereal, Wine, Burritos and Excuses To Indulge… Read more on Cereal, Wine, Burritos and Excuses To Indulge…
  food/booze news!

Edible Flowers, Birthdays and Your Childhood Are What’s Really Important

Today through Saturday, July 26: A squash blossom is an edible flower, and, as all edible flowers deserve specials festivals, Oyamel is hosting one in the squash blossom’s honor. In celebration, there will be small plates featuring the delectable flower for $8-$14. [Squash Blossom Festival, Oyamel] Read more on Edible Flowers, Birthdays and Your Childhood Are What’s Really Important… Read more on Edible Flowers, Birthdays and Your Childhood Are What’s Really Important…
 

Wonk’d: The Supremes, Gods Among Men

The Supreme Court is frequently described as an aloof institution. The justices themselves are depicted as isolated individuals, toiling away in their white marble palace. But based on the Supreme sightings you’ve sent to us, the justices have been painting the town during their four-week recess. Justices just wanna have fun! After the jump — i.e., click on that pointing finger next to the word “More” — read about the Supreme Court’s newest member, coming to a Chipotle near you (or not). Read more on Wonk’d: The Supremes, Gods Among Men…