Wonkette

We have received another FIRST-HAND REPORT from an attendee of last night’s Congressional Baseball Game during which Congressman Chip Pickering’s metal bat hit some guy in the face and made him bleed everywhere. It is so FIRST-HAND, this report, that the source was the person who actually held a towel to the guy’s mauled head to stop the bleeding! According to this person, Chip Pickering was not trying to hurt this person when he hurt this person. Oh! MORE »

Chip Pickering, the Mississippi Congressman who’s retiring to spend more time with his divorced family and mistresses, participated in last night’s annual Roll Call Congressional Baseball Game one last time, for the fans. If you would like a recap of last night’s game that cannot go three words without divining about what it portends for the election, we recommend The New Republic. We’re more interested, however, in an alleged incident that an eyewitness tells us about, involving our friend Chip: that he let go of his aluminum bat during a practice swing in the on-deck circle, letting it soar into the crowd and destroy some man’s face. MORE »

Charles “Chip” Pickering is the only Mississippi Republican left in the House. He is the ultra-conservative son of famous racist/civil rights champion and retired federal judge Charles Pickering. Chip announced in August that he was quitting Congress so he could, of course, spend more time with his family, and get a lucrative lobbying job. The lobbying job will surely come, but on Friday it was announced that Chip is divorcing his wife so he can spend more time with all the various women he’s been connected with over the years. What, a Republican in Congress who commits adultery with the opposite sex? MORE »

Mississippi Governor Haley Barbour reportedly plans to announce that Congressman Roger Wicker will be filling Trent Lott’s Senatorial shoes until the next election at least. Chip Pickering, who was initially considered to be the obvious choice, told everyone last week that he really did want to spend more time with his family, which means he is either poised to make a shitload of money as a lobbyist or has a sex scandal in the wings. We’d say more about Wicker, but he’s sorta boring and virtually unknown, which is probably why they chose him. [Yahoo News, Clarion-Ledger]

With Lott’s “surprise” resignation announcement today, the real question is who will take over the seat by appointment until January 2009? Most of the speculation rests of the boyish shoulders of the dude on the right, Mississippi Congressman Chip Pickering. Chip is the son of Charles Pickering, who couldn’t get confirmed for an appeals court position despite his son’s lobbying efforts. Chip also announced he wasn’t running for reelection this year because he really, really, really wanted to be a Senator but no one had yet resigned and so he was taking his toys and going home (or, more likely, becoming a lobbyist). Coincidentally, Chip used to work for Trent. [CQ Politics, The Clarion-Ledger, CNN]