*HE ONLY GOT THIS BECAUSE HIS WIFE MESSED AROUND:* In a last-minute change, Chris “Tweety” Matthews has been enlisted to replace patriot Tony Snow as emcee at tonight’s Washington Press Club Foundation Dinner. Is it too late to ask for some Wonkette tickets? Hopefully Matthews’ Chinese Bus won’t be get in an accident on the way over when Southern-speaking Obama Boners clog up I-395. [Shenanigans]

Chris Matthews’ son hopped on the “Chinese Bus” today from New York. Or was it from China? Or maybe he meant to say, let’s see, Chinatown bus? Only residents of a few states in the Northeast know what the Chinatown buses are, so now most of the country is wondering what Chris Matthews’ magical “Chinese Bus” is.