Wonkette

We asked you to come up with the new D.C. Cocktail of the Now, and good jesus did you people respond. There were a hundred or so actual drink recipes submitted in the comments, and your editors painstakingly tested them all in our elaborate Experimental Bar. The winning choice — with small adjustments by Wonkette and mixologist Scott L of the new Asian Spice restaurant in Chinatown — will amuse your brain, delight your senses and, most importantly, fuck you up. MORE »

There’s a new restaurant opening in Chinatown called “Asian Spice,” and Booze Master ScottL wants you to help create a famous new cocktail. “I would love to put a Wonkettini on the menu and thought it might be amusing if the commenters suggest a tasty libation befitting the name,” ScottL writes. MORE »

Convention-goers are too stupid to walk to Chinatown (alternatively they are smart enough to avoid Chinatown) so we need to build them hotels and restaurants and stores across the street from their terrible convention center. Also our cabs keep ripping them off due to our insane zone system designed to ensure that tourists weren’t ripped off. [WP]

• Brandishing his firm grip on obvious pointlessness, the Post’s Philip Rucker tries to out-do Laura Sessions Stepp - he scores well, but the use of interns for quotes lowers the difficulty rating a tenth of a point. [WaPo]

• Metrosexual envelope-pusher Peter McBride is the biggest douchebag in DC, which puts him high in the running for biggest douche world-wide. [Newsweek via Beauty and the Beltway]
• Vladimir Ilyich giggles in his mausoleum as the US government single handedly keeps Office Movers in business through soviet style moronic inefficiency. [Jaded In DC]
• Tucker Carlson wants you to know he is really light in his loafers. [Blah Blah Blog]
• The Chinatown bus is great for so many reasons, being able to get naked and piss yourself in front of the entire bus is just one on the long list. [Pop Pop Bang]
• Norton vs. Colbert II: The Booze Hounds - live on pay per view! [Winesmith]

* Paging: N.W.A. [Velvet In Dupont] MORE »

* What does Butterstick want for his birthday? A few less corporate sponsors and a lot more bamboo. [National Zoo] MORE »