china

Better fire up your modems and log into your AOL account (or Prodigy for you hipsters). Time for another look at the ruinous near-decade of prosperity under Bill Clinton, as refracted through the Truthiness Lens of rightwing Christian textbooks. This week, foreign affairs! (And next week, we’ll get to the other kind.)

Pop quiz time! (If you need to review last week’s lesson, you may.) Here is an actual review question from our 8th-grade American History textbook from Christian publisher A Beka, America: Land I Love (2006): “What Communist leader toured America in 1990?” Now, you filthy liberals may think the correct answer would be Mikhail Gorbachev, […]

After a million weeks on Ronald Reagan, the Greatest President Ever, our survey of a couple of rightwing Christian textbooks will devote about 1500 words to his successor, George Herbert Walker Kennebunkport Milli Vanilli Bush, the 41st President and only the second-worst President named “George Bush.” And Happy Father’s Day to a very middling president […]

Today’s winner of the “At Least You Didn’t Say Hitler” award goes to Arizona state Rep. Kelly Townsend, who said she was shocked to see video of police using a stun gun on one of the sons of Hero Nevada Scofflaw Cliven Bundy. How upsetting was the video, exactly? “Watching that video last night created […]

How is Michelle Obama, Kenyan impostoress and supposed “First Lady” of the United States of Murka, betraying our glorious nation today? Did you answer “breathing”? Well YOU ARE WRONG SIR. No, today she is betraying us, her “co-citizens” (yeah right), by playing ping-pong in China and also answering a question from a Chinese student about […]

OMG! Did you guys hear that the Internet is being given away? Quick! Download all the dirtiest porn you can, because THE INTERNET IS ABOUT TO GO AWAY FOREVER! YES, GODDAMIT, THIS DOES TOO DESERVE ALL CAPS BECAUSE THE INTERNET WORLD IS COMING TO AN END. At least, that’s what we are hearing. Are you […]

If there’s anything that gets the editors of our textbooks for Christian homeschoolers exercised, it’s communism. And evolution. And deviations from fundamentalist Protestantism. And secular humanism. But especially communism (which is influenced by Darwinism and atheism). And so, it stands to reason that they have a fine old time with the Cold War. And as […]

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own, and then spend the rest of the day waiting for Heidi N. […]

Well it certainly took long enough, dammit. After all the dumb conspiracy theories about Barack Obama, why did we have to wait until the final week of 2013 for someone to say he’s in cahoots with Space Aliens, huh? Unless… all the others who tried to reveal the truth are dead! Better start looking into […]

Looks like someone finally figured out what to do with all this extra Ohio we’ve been stuck with: ties between Toledo and China have grown numerous. Chinese companies have paid more than $10 million in cash for two local hotels, a restaurant complex and a 69-acre waterfront property. Mayor Michael P. Bell has taken four […]

Happy Saturday, Wonquistadores! Every week, our web browsers overflow with a fetid slop of stories that were too stoopid to ignore altogether, but not quite worth full posts of their own. Then we mop up the mess and wring out the smelly excess into a big old bucket we call the Derp Roundup. Add grain […]

CNBC Teevee Lady Maria Bartiromo is departing the Wall Street-fellating network that’s been her home for 20 years so that she can lick the bronze bull’s balls at rival Fox Business Network instead. Bartiromo recently got a bit of attention beyond the insular world of financial cable teevee when she mocked the very idea that […]

First things first: Thank you, Edward Snowden. You made a few more people care that we pawned away some valuable shit that might be tough to get back. (There was some panic buying on Feeling Safer, can you blame us?) Now, maybe our rights, our privacy, and the abuse of secrecy will become, gasp, issues […]

Well, time tourists, we have made it to our final visit to our 10th grade textbook for homeschoolers, World History and Cultures In Christian Perspective. This post will be a bit longish, because there’s a whole lot of crazy to cover between the fall of the USSR and the end of the world, but we […]