Tag: children’s treasury

A Children’s Treasury Of Post-Debate Turd Polishing

Just how bigly Did Donald Trump win? If you're Kellyanne Conway, the bigliest!
Headless Jesus welcomes you to Heaven, ghost eagle!

Time Again For Wonkette’s Annual Children’s Treasury Of Terrible 9/11 Art

It's our annual collection of bad 9/11 art by bad 9/11 artists

Presumably, Alex Radita’s Parents Will Be Going To Jail

Alex Radita weighed 37 pounds when he died. He was 15 years old. His parents faith healed him. It's weird that it did not work.
These Rand Paul supporters were excited to be in the front row

All Your Excited Reactions To Ted Cruz’s Big Presidential Jesus Announcement

Ted Cruz is ready to take America down the Jesus Road to national salvation, and some people are more excited about that than others. On the one hand, you have your Tea Party Nation, which declares Cruz "the only...
Now it's a few hundred, and still nothin' on.

Today’s Top Network Excuses For Not Running Obama’s Immigration Speech (1. He’s Black) Updated!

Update/new development: Yr. Wonkette is psychic once again! (see end of post) Barry Bamz is going to single-handedly overthrow the rule of law tonight, but the teevee networks have decided not to carry the speech, because come on,...
Real wrath of God type stuff

A Children’s Treasury Of Preemptive Hissy Fits On Obama’s Immigration Speech

We hear that the president's giving a speech tonight -- not that the broadcast teevee networks will bother carrying it -- and while the full details of the executive action aren't out yet, Republicans know it's pretty bad. Here...
How are these guys so afraid of Al Sharpton?

A Children’s Treasury of Syphilitic Dicks Tweeting About Ferguson

If you've never looked at the #tcot (Top Conservatives on Twitter) hashtag, congratulations, you have lower blood pressure than we do. This is a hashtag that will make you yearn for the sweet release of a tack hammer to...
Golf is dumb

A Children’s Treasury Of Perfectly Sane Responses To Obama’s Lost Golf Ball

Barack Obama: golfing President, or golfing TYRANT!? That's the hot question from the Top Conservatives on Twitter today, after Instagram user larrydoh found one of Obama's errant shots in the woods at Congressional Country Club and then 'grammed it...

A Children’s Treasury Of Thoughtful Reactions To The Hobby Lobby Decision

We're all still reeling over the awful Hobby Lobby decision today, but thank heavens, some of our great thinkers have already weighed in. For instance, Rick Santorum is positively frothy over the decision, even to the point of losing...

A Children’s Treasury Of Thoughtful Reactions To The Capture Of That Top Benghazi Suspect

So you might think that this would be something that wingnuts would be happy about: U.S. Special Forces have captured Ahmed Abu Khattala, one of the suspected ringleaders of the attack on the American diplomatic compound in Benghazi. He...

A Children’s Treasury Of Stupid Bloviating About The Isla Vista Murders

We've now entered the exciting "place blame on people you don't like" phase of the coverage of the shootings in Isla Vista last Friday, where bloggers, teevee news panelists, and other luminaries present their instant diagnoses of the culture-war...

A Children’s Treasury Of Sober, Thoughtful Reflections On The 2014 Fort Hood Shootings

A terrible thing happened yesterday at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas, and at this point, we don't know much about the murderer, Ivan Lopez, except that he was an Iraq vet, was being treated for depression and anxiety, and...

A Children’s Treasury Of Conservative Heroes Thinking Hard About Martin Luther King

Happy Martin Luther King Junior Day, everybody! If you are a normal person and not a terrible grasping morass of stupid like some internet conservatives, you've probably spent the day thus far one of three ways: (1) sleeping off...

A Children’s Treasury Of Barack Obama Getting His Socialism All Over Terry McAuliffe

It was a clear, crisp fall morning in Virginia as we made our way to Washington-Lee High School in Arlington for Terry McAuliffe’s first and only campaign appearance with President Obama. On the corner of Stafford and Washington, we...

A Children’s Treasury Of Measured, Thoughtful Reactions To The Navy Yard Shootings

We are wondering if maybe we could just work up a template for these mass-shooting stories, where we could have blanks to fill in with the location, shooter's name, number of victims, and so on. And then we could...

Grift On, Grizzly Grammaw: Sarah Palin Returns To Fox News

Exciting boob toob newz! Sarah Palin will be rejoining Fox News as a "contributor!" Weirdly, the Vanilla from Wasilla, O.G. Sno B. Grifta has done nothing to make us laugh, cringe, weep, sigh, or howl at the moon THAT WE KNOW OF...