April 19, 2014
A terrible thing happened yesterday at Fort Hood in Killeen, Texas, and at this point, we don’t know much about the murderer, Ivan Lopez, except that he was an Iraq vet, was being treated for depression and anxiety, and was being evaluated for possible PTSD. Those very limited details became available a few hours after […]
Happy Martin Luther King Junior Day, everybody! If you are a normal person and not a terrible grasping morass of stupid like some internet conservatives, you’ve probably spent the day thus far one of three ways: (1) sleeping off your hangover because you treated Sunday like a Saturday; (2) having to work and being angry […]
It was a clear, crisp fall morning in Virginia as we made our way to Washington-Lee High School in Arlington for Terry McAuliffe’s first and only campaign appearance with President Obama. On the corner of Stafford and Washington, we encountered the midpoint of an already massive line for entry, which ran around the corner along […]
We are wondering if maybe we could just work up a template for these mass-shooting stories, where we could have blanks to fill in with the location, shooter’s name, number of victims, and so on. And then we could also just plug in the idiotic things said about them within the first 24 hours while […]
Exciting boob toob newz! Sarah Palin will be rejoining Fox News as a “contributor!” Weirdly, the Vanilla from Wasilla, O.G. Sno B. Grifta has done nothing to make us laugh, cringe, weep, sigh, or howl at the moon THAT WE KNOW OF in the roughly one day since the network made the announcement. Patience is counseled. She has never […]
Hoooray it is White House Flickr Update Day! Just be sure to come out of your bunk in time to see Steve Cohen’s press conference regarding his deleted Cyndi Lauper tweet, 1 p.m. Eastern, because that shit is gonna be cray.
Say, did you notice that Joe Biden was just a little interrupty in the VP Debate? We are given to understand that Old Handsome Joe’s performance made a bit of a stir among some of the more sensitive souls on the right side of the political spectrum. (You see, when a Republican puts on an […]
Wonkette Operative “obfuscator2″ sends us this thrilling account of rabid Wisconsin Union Thugz being unacceptably Radical, with their “peaceably assembling.” Hello, you vile leftists! This photo was taken a few hours ago outside the Abraham Lincoln Hotel in Springfield, Illinois (EVERYTHING in Springfield is named after honest abe. Except for the gay bars, ironically).
Oh oh what to “be” for Halloween this year, tomorrow, when the big party happens somewhere? This is an annual problem for America’s infantile, sexually repressed adults — when you aren’t “being anything” during the rest of the year but a consumer schlub scared to death of getting fired from a job you deeply hate […]
While regular people are suffering through power outages, severe flooding, wind damage and a shutdown of public transportation along the whole Eastern Seaboard, reports on Sunday indicate that the The Devil spared his main temples on Earth, from His graven image of a golden bull outside His banks on Wall Street to the unholy trinity […]
Oh hooray, there is a new Internet Meme, just in time to Make the Internet Laugh Again, during this era of gloom and strife and unspeakable bullshit. Mr. Spock is a demon from the not-actually-popular television melodrama Star Trek, which was a cultural contemporary of the Sid & Marty Kroft show H.R. Pufnstuf and The […]
Hey, everybody found America’s First Dentist Orly Taitz. “In those days nobody wrote African as a race, it just wasn’t one of the options. It sounds like it would be written today, in the age of political correctness, and not in 1961 when they wrote white or Asian or ‘Negro,’” she said. Aha! So even […]
Today was probably our last day at CPAC, an awful concentration camp of concentrated awfulness. But every winding Ron Paul book-signing line has to end somewhere, and we’re sure these folks are glad to be rid of us too. So here’s the last account of this crap, starring George Allen, Pam Geller, and a Joe […]
Above, your editor tries his hand at using a real revolutionary-era copper dicking pot this kindly Teabagger was carrying around his belt. Unfortunately, this man was the only one who got the memo about it being Halloween, but in case our government finally turns back the clock to whenever this (albeit probably incorrect and anachronistic) […]
Hey look, there’s Sharron Angle! She refused to answer our questions about the future of makeup and what it means for the War in Afghanistan. Aww! Anyway, we just got here, but we’ve found plenty of weirdos and such for your enjoyment.