Tag Archives: children’s treasuries

  maskq? moks? mawsk?

A Children’s Treasury of Facebook Comments About ‘the Mosk’

Multiple tipsters have sent us this fun Internet adventure: type “mosk” into Openbook, which shows you status updates of people who are too dumb to put any privacy setting on their Facebook account. EVIL LIBRULS have caught on to this, because quite a few of the results of this are now people saying, “Hey, go on this site and put in ‘mosk’,” but in between, predictably, there are quite a few gems. As Krauthammer knows, the American public is very smart and even-handed when it comes to things like the “mosk.” Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Facebook Comments About ‘the Mosk’…
  suck it chelsea clinton

A Children’s Treasury of Rush Limbaugh Wedding Photos and Rush Fan Comments About Them

Young hearthrob Rush Limbaugh has a brand new Facebook page, and he has used this platform to at long last give the screeching masses what they want: photos of his wedding. “Sharing a laugh with Elton John backstage before his performance” is the caption on this one. Yes, somehow KNOWN HOMOSEXUAL ENEMY Sir Elton John was paid enough money to show up at this thing. Mazel tov, Rush! So what other debauchery is revealed in this photo gallery? And what did the Rush faithful have to say about these photos? Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Rush Limbaugh Wedding Photos and Rush Fan Comments About Them…
  a shining city on a internet

A Children’s Treasury of Team Sarah Poetry and Trig Pics

We have infiltrated TeamSarah.org, the Internet’s top repository of Sarah Palin crap, and boy oh boy is it majestic. There are 35,000 blog posts to be written about what is in this thing. But we have to start somewhere. So how about presenting you with some of the site’s very best Sarah Palin poetry, which seems to be a common hobby for these people, along with some photos of Trig they’ve piled up? Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Team Sarah Poetry and Trig Pics…
  a wolf in wingnut clothing

A Children’s Treasury of Breitbart Commenters Reacting To Dave Weigel’s Memoir Thing

This morning Grandpa Dave Weigel sat the Internet on his lap to tell it the story of the time he was a political reporter, his first non-tweeted public statement since being forced to resign from the Washington Post on Friday for having a sense of humor. To let wingnuts know he doesn’t really, in his heart, want to set them all on fire, Weigel chose to explain himself on one of Andrew Breitbart’s wingnut websites. Q: Did the flock re-embrace Weigel with open arms? A: There is a comments section. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Breitbart Commenters Reacting To Dave Weigel’s Memoir Thing…
  best chaps

A Children’s Treasury Of David Cameron Stalking Barack Obama

Back in 2008, the hottest fad among European politicians was to get their pictures taken with presidential candidate Barack Obama, who was much more popular among Europeans than any of them. David Cameron, who had been preparing for his royal takeover of Britain for years already, chased Barack Obama all over the place. Up top, we have Cameron’s video from election night 2008. He watched Barack Obama win on the telly and read about his Glories in the local news-tabloids, and then proceeded to suck up like the Dickens. “I KNOWETH THIS MAN. WE ARE BEST CHAPS. HE LOVES ME,” he narrates. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of David Cameron Stalking Barack Obama…
  photo tours

A Children’s Treasury Of Wonkette Readers’ ‘Political Halloween Costumes’

Oh look, we’ve finally written “this post.” Thank you to all of the operatives who sent in sexy pictures of their vulgar pagan bacchanalia dress. Our favorite would have to be this one from “J.R.’s friend Ross,” dressing up as ol’ orange tar-lungs, John Boehner. MILLIONS MORE, below. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Wonkette Readers’ ‘Political Halloween Costumes’…
  a changing world

A Children’s Treasury Of ‘GOP Faces’ From The Hot New GOP Website

The best aspect of the newly redesigned Republican Party website — aside from that amazing “What up?” thing — is the ability to refresh and refresh and refresh the homepage, for hours, to see all of the “GOP Faces” in circulation in the upper left corner, between the “G” and the “P,” where, what, a “Y” is supposed to go? But it’s just some random person’s head instead? Well your editors Jim and Juli have seen most or all of the “GOP Faces,” and analyzed them. Click the clicky to meet the members of what must be some secret “other” Republican Party in an alternate dimension, what with the youth and the diversity and the albino. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of ‘GOP Faces’ From The Hot New GOP Website…
  death

A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu

Back in May or February or some other month, the world went nuts over a bunch of Mexicans giving everyone flu, from pigs, in an attempt to take over the world. But when Americans actually got this flu, they did not find it much worse than “regular American flu,” which only kills old people, gremlins, and dragons. This false alarm did not stop the government, a.k.a. “that Sebelius lady,” from launching a YouTube contest in JULY to “create a 15, 30, or 60 second video Public Service Announcement (PSA) that will inform and motivate people to take steps that will help prevent the spread of the flu.” That means any flu! The submission period ends tonight at midnight, and the winner will receive $2,500 while his or her winning video will “be featured on broadcast TV and on government Web sites.” Your Wonkette has viewed all 155 submissions (read: like six or seven), and… uh… you’re in a bit of a bind, Sebelius. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Government-Solicited YouTubes About The Flu…
  dude?

A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Media Inquiries About Mark Sanford’s Sexy Disappearance

For several days in late June, Mark Sanford spokesman Joel Sawyer had just about the worst job ever, having to deal with every national reporter and local legislator asking about Sanford’s whereabouts — which he did not know and could not find out, because Mark Sanford makes sure to turn off his cellphone when he’s sexing Argentine Firecrackers, which is always. What hilarious e-mails did Sawyer receive during these mysterious times, from the terrible media, and Stephen Colbert? Thanks to a successful open records request from South Carolina’s The State newspaper, we now present a Children’s Treasury of several! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Wacky Media Inquiries About Mark Sanford’s Sexy Disappearance…
  the best meat

A Children’s Treasury Of (Poorly) Translated Comments About Mark Sanford From An Argentinian Newspaper

One or more of you commenter people have linked to an article about crying sex person Mark Sanford in an Argentinian newspaper, La Nación. “Argentina” is very proud to have had an American slave state leader come to its big city and sex its women! Maybe? It’s hard to tell, because we do not speak Spanish. The Internet does, though, and has translated for us some of the article’s comments. Are the Argentinian Internet’s commenters as erudite as the “Real American” commenters? Perhaps even more! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of (Poorly) Translated Comments About Mark Sanford From An Argentinian Newspaper…
  bomb the internet

A Children’s Treasury Of Annoying Liberal Insta-reactions To This Local Murder

If there is one thing to count on when a lunatic shoots someone due to lunacy, it is to expect scores of liberal blog posts, longwinded self-righteous television segments from MSNBC anchors, and of course press releases from liberal advocacy groups about how this murder is HATE-TERRORISM and also the direct fault of a funny Fox News television entertainer or commenters on a right wing forum. They are instant. And, of course, with the news that a white supremacist shot a security guard at the Holocaust Museum today, many liberal bloggers have noted that their first reaction to the shooting of a human was, “OOH, THOSE REPUBLICANS GOT PWNED FOR WHAT THEY SAID IN APRIL, SUCKAS.” Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Annoying Liberal Insta-reactions To This Local Murder…
  lose terry lose

A Children’s Treasury Of Sadness On Virginia Voting Day

Virginia sure is a hot ticket today! Ha ha, Terry McAuliffe’s a nut. Let’s check out a few more photos our lovely Virginia operatives sent in of the most important local Democratic gubernatorial primary since Doug Duncan went insane and dropped out against Martin O’Malley in Maryland in 2006!!!!! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Sadness On Virginia Voting Day…
  feed the monster

A Children’s Treasury Of Gross Larry Summers Photos

Barack Obama’s chief economic aide Larry Summers famously thinks that women are dumb, very dumb, so dumb at life that he doesn’t need to look in any way attractive to procure them, for mating. Today Summers told the Washington Economics Club (NERD FACTORY) that everything will be better in a few months, once all remaining American Money has been restored to Wall Street financial firms. But he looked so frightening when he was telling them this! Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Gross Larry Summers Photos…
  everyone is secretly rich

A Children’s Treasury Of Conservative Reactions To This Poor Guy Having a Cellphone Near Michelle Obama

Aww, Michelle Obama went to help out at a soup kitchen for homeless people on Thursday! And while she was there, the AP took a photo of this guy taking a cellphone photo of Michelle’s very famous arms. So now America’s conservative pundits are very upset that this supposedly homeless man has a telephone, so poverty isn’t actually a problem, and we’re even “blessed” to have such rich homeless people in the United States. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Conservative Reactions To This Poor Guy Having a Cellphone Near Michelle Obama…
  judgment day

A Children’s Treasury Of Evil Wall Street Failures’ Photos From This Good NYT Series About The Financial Crisis

After the economy and capitalism completely died in September because one freaking company called “Lehman Bros.” was denied billions of dollars from the Federal Government, the liberal New York Times has been running a weekly-ish series called “The Reckoning” about the various Wall Street jackals — i-bankers, hedge fund managers, risk-rating companies — who pooled their talents together to somehow, magically, destroy the entire world with a mere HOUSING PROBLEM. All of the articles in this series are well reported and subtly vilifying. The best part about reading them, though, comes as you scroll down to the fifth or sixth paragraph and see an accompanying picture of some douchebag you’ve never heard of with a caption describing how this person ruined your life. We’ve compiled screenshots of these instances from many stories in “The Reckoning” series and blown them up, to heighten the embarrassment. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Evil Wall Street Failures’ Photos From This Good NYT Series About The Financial Crisis…
  official histories

A Children’s Treasury Of Comical Excerpts From Blaggy’s FBI Affadavit

Well, we had to do this post at some point (not really!). Thank you to The Smoking Gun for providing this juicy excerpt from the FBI’s affadavit re: the various stupid crimes of Illinois Governor Rod “Blaggy” Blagojevich in his attempt to sell a United States Senate seat for a cushy job, a cushy job for his wife, or just some cold motherfuckin’ cash, preferably from Warren Buffett, who has lots of it. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Comical Excerpts From Blaggy’s FBI Affadavit…
  nerds

A Children’s Treasury Of Polite, Intelligent Threaded Comments On Change.gov

We read somewhere, here, that Obama’s transition website, Change.gov, was getting pretty Internettish these days. This is Obama’s thing, he does it all the time: using standard Internet crap — stuff that other politicians somehow haven’t discovered — to help his readers connect and engage one another on the issues important to them (and possibly sometimes donate $$$$…) (and also maybe plan to fuck in a motel.) This is all to say that Change.gov suddenly looks a lot like Fark or Digg — long comment threads where you can “tell Obama” your thoughts and respond to each other and even rate each other’s comments. So we headed over there to witness the hilarity one sees on every Internet comment board in the world. But as with all things “Obama,” the discussion is well-written, informed, polite… it is terrifying. This is not the Real American Internet. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Polite, Intelligent Threaded Comments On Change.gov…
  important television coverage

A Children’s Treasury Of Today’s Hilarious Fox News Clips

Beloved teevee channel Fox News is focused as shit today on race-baiting, terrorism, and pissing off left-wing blogs. It is a marvel. So we’ve compiled some of the morning’s most comical highlights here for your viewing pleasure. The best one is above, in which lobotomized Fox & Friends clown Steve Doocy sees some random black guy walk into a polling station and immediately assumes that this is Obama. Oh boy. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Today’s Hilarious Fox News Clips…
 

A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog

This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as “conceding the race.” The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said Hillary won’t be concedin’ nothin’ tonight. And since Hillary’s rabid loyalists are already peeved with the media’s coverage of the campaign, the AP’s little “gambit” here has set off quite a storm on Hillary Clinton’s official “blog,” in the comments. An arbitrary selection of the best comments, after the jump. Read more on A Children’s Treasury Of Hilarious Comments About The AP On Hillary’s Blog…
 

A Children’s Treasury of Sexy Text Messages From Detroit’s Greatest Mayor

Let us revert our attention back to the Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, and his human foibles for some time today. Kilpatrick — the greatest mayor in American history — was indicted earlier this year for perjury, obstruction of justice and “conspiracy” along with his former chief of staff, Christine Beatty. Kilpatrick happened to be shtupping Beatty several years ago, and then some city officials got wind of it, and then Kilpatrick fired those city officials for… being lame? And then Kilpatrick and Beatty both completely lied about the nature of these firings in investigative hearings last year. But it was those text messages, those sexy text messages, that the two had exchanged back and forth that did them in. Now an 18-page memo has been released listing all of the good text messages Beatty and Kilpatrick shared. Let’s read them, LOL LOL! Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Sexy Text Messages From Detroit’s Greatest Mayor…