One or more of you commenter people have linked to an article about crying sex person Mark Sanford in an Argentinian newspaper, La Nación. “Argentina” is very proud to have had an American slave state leader come to its big city and sex its women! Maybe? It’s hard to tell, because we do not speak Spanish. The Internet does, though, and has translated for us some of the article’s comments. Are the Argentinian Internet’s commenters as erudite as the “Real American” commenters? Perhaps even more! MORE »

If there is one thing to count on when a lunatic shoots someone due to lunacy, it is to expect scores of liberal blog posts, longwinded self-righteous television segments from MSNBC anchors, and of course press releases from liberal advocacy groups about how this murder is HATE-TERRORISM and also the direct fault of a funny Fox News television entertainer or commenters on a right wing forum. They are instant. And, of course, with the news that a white supremacist shot a security guard at the Holocaust Museum today, many liberal bloggers have noted that their first reaction to the shooting of a human was, “OOH, THOSE REPUBLICANS GOT PWNED FOR WHAT THEY SAID IN APRIL, SUCKAS.” MORE »

Virginia sure is a hot ticket today! Ha ha, Terry McAuliffe’s a nut. Let’s check out a few more photos our lovely Virginia operatives sent in of the most important local Democratic gubernatorial primary since Doug Duncan went insane and dropped out against Martin O’Malley in Maryland in 2006!!!!! MORE »

Barack Obama’s chief economic aide Larry Summers famously thinks that women are dumb, very dumb, so dumb at life that he doesn’t need to look in any way attractive to procure them, for mating. Today Summers told the Washington Economics Club (NERD FACTORY) that everything will be better in a few months, once all remaining American Money has been restored to Wall Street financial firms. But he looked so frightening when he was telling them this! MORE »

Aww, Michelle Obama went to help out at a soup kitchen for homeless people on Thursday! And while she was there, the AP took a photo of this guy taking a cellphone photo of Michelle’s very famous arms. So now America’s conservative pundits are very upset that this supposedly homeless man has a telephone, so poverty isn’t actually a problem, and we’re even “blessed” to have such rich homeless people in the United States. MORE »

After the economy and capitalism completely died in September because one freaking company called “Lehman Bros.” was denied billions of dollars from the Federal Government, the liberal New York Times has been running a weekly-ish series called “The Reckoning” about the various Wall Street jackals — i-bankers, hedge fund managers, risk-rating companies — who pooled their talents together to somehow, magically, destroy the entire world with a mere HOUSING PROBLEM. All of the articles in this series are well reported and subtly vilifying. The best part about reading them, though, comes as you scroll down to the fifth or sixth paragraph and see an accompanying picture of some douchebag you’ve never heard of with a caption describing how this person ruined your life. We’ve compiled screenshots of these instances from many stories in “The Reckoning” series and blown them up, to heighten the embarrassment. MORE »

Well, we had to do this post at some point (not really!). Thank you to The Smoking Gun for providing this juicy excerpt from the FBI’s affadavit re: the various stupid crimes of Illinois Governor Rod “Blaggy” Blagojevich in his attempt to sell a United States Senate seat for a cushy job, a cushy job for his wife, or just some cold motherfuckin’ cash, preferably from Warren Buffett, who has lots of it. MORE »

We read somewhere, here, that Obama’s transition website, Change.gov, was getting pretty Internettish these days. This is Obama’s thing, he does it all the time: using standard Internet crap — stuff that other politicians somehow haven’t discovered — to help his readers connect and engage one another on the issues important to them (and possibly sometimes donate $$$$…) (and also maybe plan to fuck in a motel.) This is all to say that Change.gov suddenly looks a lot like Fark or Digg — long comment threads where you can “tell Obama” your thoughts and respond to each other and even rate each other’s comments. So we headed over there to witness the hilarity one sees on every Internet comment board in the world. But as with all things “Obama,” the discussion is well-written, informed, polite… it is terrifying. This is not the Real American Internet. MORE »

Beloved teevee channel Fox News is focused as shit today on race-baiting, terrorism, and pissing off left-wing blogs. It is a marvel. So we’ve compiled some of the morning’s most comical highlights here for your viewing pleasure. The best one is above, in which lobotomized Fox & Friends clown Steve Doocy sees some random black guy walk into a polling station and immediately assumes that this is Obama. Oh boy. MORE »

This morning, the Associated Press wrote that Hillary would concede the delegate race to Barack Obama tonight, which is very nearly the same thing as “conceding the race.” The Clinton campaign then called this story 100% false and said Hillary won’t be concedin’ nothin’ tonight. And since Hillary’s rabid loyalists are already peeved with the media’s coverage of the campaign, the AP’s little “gambit” here has set off quite a storm on Hillary Clinton’s official “blog,” in the comments. An arbitrary selection of the best comments, after the jump. MORE »

Let us revert our attention back to the Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, and his human foibles for some time today. Kilpatrick — the greatest mayor in American history — was indicted earlier this year for perjury, obstruction of justice and “conspiracy” along with his former chief of staff, Christine Beatty. Kilpatrick happened to be shtupping Beatty several years ago, and then some city officials got wind of it, and then Kilpatrick fired those city officials for… being lame? And then Kilpatrick and Beatty both completely lied about the nature of these firings in investigative hearings last year. But it was those text messages, those sexy text messages, that the two had exchanged back and forth that did them in. Now an 18-page memo has been released listing all of the good text messages Beatty and Kilpatrick shared. Let’s read them, LOL LOL! MORE »