children
Tennessee To Stop Feeding Its Dumb Kids
This thing — to motivate the lazy Poors to become better parents, Stacey Campfield (R-HardKnoxville) has introduced a bill that would cut Temporary Assistance to Needy Families benefits by up to 30% if children fail to make “satisfactory academic progress” — by this guy, is busy advancing through the Tennessee Lege. Some Democrats are like [...]
Dennis Prager Urges Kids To Take Up Tobacco In Place Of Their Marijuana Cigarettes
Marijuana! The magical plant that is both directly responsible for over 85% of the original content found in the blogosphere and happens to be the root of all evil. Previous generations of Americans obtained their pot by growing it in their closets or buying gasoline-infused ditch weed from their sketchy cousin posted up in the [...]
Drudge Siren! Turns Out A Bunch of Youtube Videos Are Not The Same As College
Perhaps you have heard of the latest trend in education, wherein a professor at Stanford or whatever makes a bunch of Youtube videos, puts together some handouts, and puts it all on the web at a site called Coursera, which has dozens of “free” online classes offered by professors from Harvard, MIT, Princeton, UCLA, and [...]
Missouri Bill About Gun Instruction For First Graders Only Half As Awful As It Sounds
It seemed like this thing was gonna be a gimme: Missouri Republican introduces legislation putting an NRA instructor in every first-grade classroom. Start ‘em young, Missouri, just like God and the NRA intended! But then we actually read like a whole paragraph about it, and the thrust is the NRA instructor will actually teach the [...]
Breaking: More Than 79 Million Children Come Home From School
In an incredible stroke of almost unanimous nationwide good luck, students of 67,139 of the country’s 67,140 elementary schools got to go home after school today, to their parents, or guardians, or whoever is in charge of them, and they didn’t really have a bad time when they got there. They may have been hungry, [...]
Judicial Watch Founder/Clinton Nemesis Larry Klayman Might Have Touched His Children In Their Swimsuit Areas
Well this is gross and awful. Larry Klayman, who made his bones with Judicial Watch, which was constantly suing Bill Clinton every time he sneezed (with his penis), and who most recently has been writing for WND and representing totally rad heavy metal children’s entertainer Bradlee Dean, may have sexually abused his own children! Ha? [...]
Famous 13-Year-Old Conservative Hero Now 17, Not Conservative
We all remember where we were on Feburary 27, 2009 when 13-year-old Jonathan Krohn addressed the throngs of CPACers, spitting the hot fires of oppression and demanding the instant restoration of the Old Guard. Where were you? Your Wonkette, for one, was typing a blog post about his CPAC speech. It was clear that young [...]
Supreme Court Wusses Out On Sending Kids To Jail For Life, And More
The big decision we’ve all been waiting for is finally in: “The Supreme Court ruled Monday that it is unconstitutional for states to require juveniles convicted of murder to be sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.” DOWN WITH THE COURT. Then what’s the point of waking up in the morning, now? “Monday’s [...]
Scott Walker: Think of the Children We Could Save With This Recall Money
Alleged Governor of Wisconsin Scott Walker went on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Monday morning to talk about the valiant effort to get him recalled, and being a Republican, decided to try to make us feel guilty about our finances, saying that if it weren’t for the Wisconsin taxpaying people’s efforts to overthrow him, the money that’s [...]
A Children’s Treasury of Newt Gingrich Ratcheting Up Tensions With Poor Kids
Last night’s Republican debate in the former U.S. territory of South Carolina brought the declaration of not one but two wars! Which, thank goodness, we were just about to run out of wars! Rick Perry predictably bumbled South Carolinians into Civil War 2. And useless talking marshmallow Newt Gingrich finally and officially declared war on America’s [...]
Congress Bravely Pushes Cafeteria Cheese-Slop on Our Children
America’s children are still by and large grotesquely overweight these days, we hear? AND STAY THAT WAY is the message from the corporate shills in Congress waging a heroic battle against a USDA proposal requiring school cafeterias to quit counting french fries and tomato sauce on frozen pizzas as “vegetables,” because the “federal government shouldn’t [...]
With 45 Million Americans On Food Stamps, GOP Will Cut Food Stamps
The number of Americans relying on federal help to get food has been climbing for years now, with 45 million people and 21 million households currently dependent on the program. It’s not just the unemployed relying on the vouchers — seniors, veterans, school children and the disabled are among the groups hit hardest in this [...]
Huckabee Makes Cartoons To Teach Kids Reagan Destroyed Disco Blacks
Hey, kids! Do you like learning history but hate it that your teacher never tells you the story of the time Ronald Reagan and Jesus Christ teamed up to defeat the Nazis? Of course you do. America’s Original Fat Governor Mike Huckabee is here with a series of horribly animated cartoons featuring his team of [...]
Harry Reid Didn’t Even Want To See Those Bin Laden Photos, So There
Senators were already acting like children by pretending they saw (or, maybe worse, thinking they actually saw) photos of Osama bin Laden’s corpse. But now that the White House has reportedly decided to let a select few members of Congress see them, but not the others, it’s elementary school all over again. Harry Reid is [...]
Osama Bin Laden Had Cash, Phone Numbers Sewn Into Jacket Like a Child
Osama bin Laden had cash totaling 500 Euros and two telephone numbers sewn into his clothing when he was killed — sure signs that he was prepared to flee his compound at a moment’s notice — top U.S. intelligence officials told members of Congress at a classified briefing in the Capitol Tuesday. But did his [...]
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