Tag: children

I CAN SAY TERRISM YET?

Dumb Fox Chick Not Scared Of Old Grandma Muslims, Just The Kids

Are you ready for more HYSTERIA OMG SYRIAN MUSLIM REFUGEE PANIC?! Cool, because Fox News lady windsock Andrea Tantaros went to work Wednesday. It's time for another episode of "Outnumbered," where spunky Republican jaw-flappers flap their jaws about stuff...
Sawed-off shotguns: They're in the Constitution!

Here’s How The Second Amendment Has Prevented Tyranny Lately

While we know guns had nothing to do with the tragedy today that took the lives of Virginia TV station WDBJ reporter Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward, in addition to the suicide of the shooter, a disgruntled former...
So arrogant!

Wingnut Kevin Swanson Warns About Girl Scout Lesbians, Because He Is A Weirdo

If you read Wonk on the regular, you will recognize Kevin Swanson as the wingnut homeschool advocate Dok did a nice series of book reports on in his always lovely feature Sundays With The Christianists. Swanson is also pretty sure...
Is the guy on the right also the guy in the middle, or do all gun-humpers look the same to Yr Wonket?

Florida Makes It Even Easier To Live Out Your Family-Friendly Gun-Humping Fantasies

Orlando has long been a destination for theme-park enthusiasts, so if you're planning to bring the kids to see Mickey and Minnie, be sure to swing by Machine Gun America, a brand-spankin'-new theme park that opens Saturday, Dec. 20. If...
ELAINE!!!

Jen Rubin Wants You To Get Married. Yes All Of You. Even You!

The Washington Post's Jennifer Rubin wrote an extremely lazy column about how "Marriage = Happiness," throwing a bunch of blockquotes together and calling it a day. Nice work if you can get it! For a column from the frequently bewildering...
Sorry about that. America's full, you see.

Congratulations, Deport-The-Kids Patriots! Kids Returned To Honduras, Killed.

Some inspiring news for the deport-everyone-immediately crowd today: According to a Los Angeles Times report, "at least five, and as many as 10, of the 42 children" who have been killed in criminal violence in Honduras since February had...

Rick Perry, President Of The United States Of Texas, Sending Troops To Fight Evil Brown Kids

Ugh, Rick Perry, you really are THE WORST. Texas Gov. Rick Perry plans to announce he will activate the Texas National Guard at a news conference Monday in Austin, said state Sen. Juan “Chuy” Hinojosa, D-McAllen. Hinojosa did not have...

Jon Stewart Literally Parboils Jerks Who Fear Immigrant Children (Video)

Jon Stewart took on the latest round of rightwing anti-immigrant panic Tuesday night, reminding us of that simple lesson that we all learned as children: "I was always taught by my parents to follow the Golden Rule: Whenever you...

Louie Gohmert: Obama’s Luring Diseased Foreign Children To Sap Our Precious Bodily Fluids

In a House Judiciary Committee hearing Wednesday, Texas congresstroll Louie Gohmert worried that Barack Obama has thrown America's doors wide, "luring" a bunch of filthy diseased foreign children to invade our once-proud land. You see, Louie recently went on...

New Bulletproof Blanket For The Kids Is Only 4/5ths As Terrible An Idea As It Sounds

A couple of Oklahomans who dare to dream big have figured out a way to protect children from school shootings and tornados, the perfect way to keep kids safe-ish, on the cheap-ish. Meet the Bodyguard Blanket from ProTecht, the...

GOP Opens New Front In War On Fruits & Vegetables

The kids are our future, so we should treasure them and take care of each individual precious snowflake child, each of whom is a gift from God or Allah or Spirit Pasta or whatever. But you know what? Skinny...

New Hampshire Senator Kelly Ayotte Bravely Calls For Higher Taxes… On Poor Immigrants

Buenos dias, wonkeros and wonkiritas. Are you tired of reading/hearing/tweeting about #BRIDGEGHAZI yet? Isn’t there some other outrageous news from petulant rightwing asshats that we can carp about for a while? Well, glad you asked! New Hampshire Senator and Tea...

Phyllis Schlafly & ‘Obama’s Army Of Blacks’ Guy: Liberals Giving Your Kids To Teh Gheys As Sex Toys

You might think that by now, we were no longer capable of being surprised by Phyllis Schlafly and the merry band of rightwing loonies in her orbit. And for the most part, you'd be right -- we're no longer...

Sarah Palin Doubts Barack Obama Has Ever Pulled Lemonade Out Of His Bootstraps

On her FaceSpace page yesterday, Sarah Palin posted this photo of her son and nephew from about 15 years ago, gettin' all mavericky and free-enterprisey one summer. She had this note: When life gives you lemons, at this point make...

Science: Jerks Don’t Understand Sarcasm, Explaining 95 Percent Of Our Letters To The Editor

Everyone would like to think that the ability to get irony and sarcasm has something to do with being smart -- it just makes sense, after all, that picking up on the subtle cues that a statement isn't...

Tennessee To Stop Feeding Its Dumb Kids

This thing -- to motivate the lazy Poors to become better parents, Stacey Campfield (R-HardKnoxville) has introduced a bill that would cut Temporary Assistance to Needy Families benefits by up to 30% if children fail to make “satisfactory academic...