children

Buenos dias, wonkeros and wonkiritas. Are you tired of reading/hearing/tweeting about #BRIDGEGHAZI yet? Isn’t there some other outrageous news from petulant rightwing asshats that we can carp about for a while? Well, glad you asked! New Hampshire Senator and Tea Party favorite Kelly Ayotte has set her sights on screwing immigrants across the country. No, […]

You might think that by now, we were no longer capable of being surprised by Phyllis Schlafly and the merry band of rightwing loonies in her orbit. And for the most part, you’d be right — we’re no longer shocked by much of anything these twits say, because like Taco Bell, they’re in the business […]

On her FaceSpace page yesterday, Sarah Palin posted this photo of her son and nephew from about 15 years ago, gettin’ all mavericky and free-enterprisey one summer. She had this note: When life gives you lemons, at this point make margaritas. Caving on debt could drive one to drink. This photo of my son and […]

Everyone would like to think that the ability to get irony and sarcasm has something to do with being smart — it just makes sense, after all, that picking up on the subtle cues that a statement isn’t meant to be taken at face value has something to do with intelligence, or discernment, or something […]

This thing — to motivate the lazy Poors to become better parents, Stacey Campfield (R-HardKnoxville) has introduced a bill that would cut Temporary Assistance to Needy Families benefits by up to 30% if children fail to make “satisfactory academic progress” — by this guy, is busy advancing through the Tennessee Lege. Some Democrats are like […]

Marijuana! The magical plant that is both directly responsible for over 85% of the original content found in the blogosphere and happens to be the root of all evil. Previous generations of Americans obtained their pot by growing it in their closets or buying gasoline-infused ditch weed from their sketchy cousin posted up in the […]

Perhaps you have heard of the latest trend in education, wherein a professor at Stanford or whatever makes a bunch of Youtube videos, puts together some handouts, and puts it all on the web at a site called Coursera, which has dozens of “free” online classes offered by professors from Harvard, MIT, Princeton, UCLA, and […]

It seemed like this thing was gonna be a gimme: Missouri Republican introduces legislation putting an NRA instructor in every first-grade classroom. Start ‘em young, Missouri, just like God and the NRA intended! But then we actually read like a whole paragraph about it, and the thrust is the NRA instructor will actually teach the […]

In an incredible stroke of almost unanimous nationwide good luck, students of 67,139 of the country’s 67,140 elementary schools got to go home after school today, to their parents, or guardians, or whoever is in charge of them, and they didn’t really have a bad time when they got there. They may have been hungry, […]

Well this is gross and awful. Larry Klayman, who made his bones with Judicial Watch, which was constantly suing Bill Clinton every time he sneezed (with his penis), and who most recently has been writing for WND and representing totally rad heavy metal children’s entertainer Bradlee Dean, may have sexually abused his own children! Ha? […]

We all remember where we were on Feburary 27, 2009 when 13-year-old Jonathan Krohn addressed the throngs of CPACers, spitting the hot fires of oppression and demanding the instant restoration of the Old Guard. Where were you? Your Wonkette, for one, was typing a blog post about his CPAC speech. It was clear that young […]

The big decision we’ve all been waiting for is finally in: “The Supreme Court ruled Monday that it is unconstitutional for states to require juveniles convicted of murder to be sentenced to life in prison without possibility of parole.” DOWN WITH THE COURT. Then what’s the point of waking up in the morning, now? “Monday’s […]

Alleged Governor of Wisconsin Scott Walker went on MSNBC’s “Morning Joe” Monday morning to talk about the valiant effort to get him recalled, and being a Republican, decided to try to make us feel guilty about our finances, saying that if it weren’t for the Wisconsin taxpaying people’s efforts to overthrow him, the money that’s […]

Last night’s Republican debate in the former U.S. territory of South Carolina brought the declaration of not one but two wars! Which, thank goodness, we were just about to run out of wars! Rick Perry predictably bumbled South Carolinians into Civil War 2. And useless talking marshmallow Newt Gingrich finally and officially declared war on America’s […]

America’s children are still by and large grotesquely overweight these days, we hear? AND STAY THAT WAY is the message from the corporate shills in Congress waging a heroic battle against a USDA proposal requiring school cafeterias to quit counting french fries and tomato sauce on frozen pizzas as “vegetables,” because the “federal government shouldn’t […]