Here is the most important political news you will read all week: people are raising chickens these days, for eggs and for the purposes of annoying their neighbors. Chickens also make disgusting gloppy poops that are good for fertilizing your filthy organic gardens, and for “decorating” your back steps so that when you go out barefoot onto the lawn you are reminded why Jesus invented shoes. MORE »

Oh now what is this idiot monster chicken up to? No good! He is an envoy from Nick Leibham, the Democratic challenger to Republican Rep. Brian Bilbray in California’s 50th Congressional District — the northern San Diego seat formerly occupied by Duke “Dick” Cunningham. Liebham made the chicken deliver a letter to Bilbray’s office that called him a chicken for agreeing to debates in San Diego. If one actual chicken calls another person a chicken, then is that really an insult? Everyone in California sucks and Brian Bilbray’s vanity daughter “Briana” is hot, the end. [San Diego Union-Tribune, Flickr]

So it turns out Hillary Clinton is running that ad in Vermont because people will be voting in some sort of “primary” there soon, except it’s on the same day as Ohio and Texas so nobody cares. Similarly, Rhode Island will also be voting on March 4. It turns out that Rhode Islanders, in spite of their legendary venality, corruption, and love for coffee milk, are still allowed to vote in presidential primaries. [AP/AP]

Because nothing’s going on in Washington this month, the PETA people chose today to burn a “life sized” effigy of the Col. Sanders cartoon character — the Col. Sanders cartoon character that hasn’t been used by KFC for years, after a brief and embarrassing marketing experiment. MORE »

The Animal and Plant Health Inspection Service wants you to do your part to help stop the Bird Flu! They want your help so bad, in fact, that they’ve unveiled a web-based campaign designed to convince you that keeping your birds alive is in your best interest! MORE »