chick-fil-a
Catholic League Pretty Sure They’ve Put Guinness Out of Business By Now
Remember on Saint Patrick’s Day when shitty beers like Heineken and tolerable beers like Sam Adams and Guinness all decided to boycott the parades in New York City (Heineken and Guinness) and Boston (Sam Adams) and lo, there was much Bill Donohue and Catholic League (which is really just Bill Donohue, right?) sadness, and they […]
Get Your Mommy-Son Hot Middle Ages Fantasy Date Night Action On At Chick-fil-A
Hey Wonknesians who happen to be boys or ladies who happen to have boy children (do not yell at us about gender constructs because this whole event was not our idea), have you been feeling like your mother-son relationship lacks closeness? Lacks warmth? Lacks medieval-themed chicken dinner nights? Chick-fil-A’s Ballston mall and Crystal City locations, […]
Chick-Fil-A Grifts For More Of That Sweet, Sweet Anti-Gay Cash
What do you think, Chick-fil-A? Would only a fruitcake not love your party trays? Well we think you are aiming low! There are so many more people we can think of right off the bat who would not love your party trays!
Surprise: Allen West Once Did Dickish Thing To Black People
But which jerkwad thing did Allen West do to black people, you might ask? He delivered Chick-fil-A to a Congressional Black Caucus meeting. They were not appreciative. A Democratic lawmaker says Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) offended the entire Congressional Black Caucus by delivering Chick-fil-A chicken and biscuits to their weekly meeting — and then walking […]
Breaking News: A Liberal Acted Like A Total Jerk
So, this guy. Drivin’ up in his Prius, bursting with joy and righteousness about his purpose-driven life of haughtily lecturing minimum wage workers who should be ashamed of themselves for daring to have a job at a place that gives corporate donations dude does not agree with. And then, at the end, explaining to the […]
Bill Kristol’s Dirtiest Fantasy: Watching Mitt Romney Eat Chicken
How is American journalism’s most fearless armchair-warrior, Weekly Standard editor and former New York Times fail dragon Bill Kristol, keeping himself occupied this election? Some may recall his useful role in the last presidential election, which was to recommend to his good friend John McCain the VP selection of Sarah Palin, whom he met during […]
Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery
Who could forget the magical year 1999? Bill Clinton proved that it was Constitutional for the president to get a blowjob from a lady to whom he was not married, the stock market was on a nonstop rocket ride to the moon thanks to the new-fangled Internet, and Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker was […]
A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A
It is here, finally: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the brainchild of weekend cable television host Mike Huckabee and people who read his Facebook diaries. According to most reports, we’re seeing long fast food drive-thru lines across the nation, as Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) are rushing out of their homes to stick it […]
Chick-Fil-A Now Firing Women So They Can Stay Home And Make Babies, For Jesus
Hey hey Chick-fil-A, how many women did you fire for having children at home so they could be “stay home mothers” in blatant disregard for sex-discrimination laws and common decency and humanity on top of all your other pressing PR problems that are totally “neutral” in the culture wars today? Oh, just the one, Brenda […]
Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company
The Chick-fil-A company, which produces these salty waffle fries and breaded/fried chickenish sandwiches with two pickles apiece that serve as delicious on-the-go college meals but otherwise just give you hella diabetes, is notoriously owned by a prominent family in the religious social conservative set. Its president last week admitted the company was “guilty as charged” […]
Drag Queens Proclaim Their Love Of Super Christian Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A (VIDEO)
Chick-fil-A, great American chicken store, has this inconvenient reputation of being quite, quite Christian and, through its nonprofit organization, for supporting groups that are known to be anti-gay, like Focus on the Family and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (WHICH EXISTS). WELL! In the name of Digging Freedom (this is actually how you dig freedom), […]
Chick-Fil-A Hates Gays
Have you wondered what in hell a “Chick-Fil-A” might be? It’s a company that sells a form of chicken anus on a stick, we think, and this same company helps the anti-homosexual fanatics by feeding them these McNuggetz, so they will die soon and no longer harass people. Something like that, we don’t care: Lambert […]
