Tag Archives: chick-fil-a

  The Last Guy You'd Suspect. Or The First.

Rightwing Sociopath Todd Kincannon Didn’t Domestic Abuse His Wife; He Was Just On Drugs

This is from TV, so presumably he's unmedicated here. God help us.
Always nice to start off the week with an entry for the “We Completely Believe This” file: rightwing bloviator and former head of the South Carolina GOP Todd Kincannon was accused of threatening his wife and forcibly refusing to let her get out of his car last Thursday, but don’t worry, there was no arrest in the incident and Todd Kincannon is no spouse abuser — he was simply in the throes of an intense allergic reaction to some cough medicine, he says. We’re pretty certain that still leaves no excuse for the rest of his career as a flaming rightwing poopbag. Read more on Rightwing Sociopath Todd Kincannon Didn’t Domestic Abuse His Wife; He Was Just On Drugs…
  but really this is terrible food

Republicans Are So In Love With Chick-Fil-A Maybe They Should Gay Marry It

The Almighty’s favorite chicken sammich
National Journal, Ron Fournier’s Church of Both Sides Do It, is out with some Very Serious Journalism™: It turns out that, after Chick-fil-A was outed as a shitty fast-food company run by gay-hating Christianists oppressed by the Gay Mafia and the Feminazis, congressional Republicans decided they really, really loved them some fried chicken sandwiches, like, all the time, for the Lord. Read more on Republicans Are So In Love With Chick-Fil-A Maybe They Should Gay Marry It…
  the unscientific method

Catholic League Pretty Sure They’ve Put Guinness Out of Business By Now

Remember on Saint Patrick’s Day when shitty beers like Heineken and tolerable beers like Sam Adams and Guinness all decided to boycott the parades in New York City (Heineken and Guinness) and Boston (Sam Adams) and lo, there was much Bill Donohue and Catholic League (which is really just Bill Donohue, right?) sadness, and they embarked upon a quixotic attempt to get people to boycott Guinness? Today, the Catholic League released their EXTREMELY scientific survey about their boycott, and it is pretty much the bestest boycott ever you guys. Read more on Catholic League Pretty Sure They’ve Put Guinness Out of Business By Now…
  happiness is a warm meal and a gun

Toby Keith Will Not Allow Guns In His Fancy Eatin’ Restaurant So The Terrorists Have Already Won

It’s tough when your heroes let you down. Take Toby Keith, for example. His restaurant, Toby Keith’s I Love This Bar and Grill, should be a place where a man brings his guns and his prayer book and his Obummer = Socialist shirt. But Toby Keith turns out to be a filthy gun-hating Democrat liebrul. Read more on Toby Keith Will Not Allow Guns In His Fancy Eatin’ Restaurant So The Terrorists Have Already Won…
  knights of the dumb table

Get Your Mommy-Son Hot Middle Ages Fantasy Date Night Action On At Chick-fil-A

Hey Wonknesians who happen to be boys or ladies who happen to have boy children (do not yell at us about gender constructs because this whole event was not our idea), have you been feeling like your mother-son relationship lacks closeness? Lacks warmth? Lacks medieval-themed chicken dinner nights? Read more on Get Your Mommy-Son Hot Middle Ages Fantasy Date Night Action On At Chick-fil-A…
  winner winner chicken dinner

Surprise: Allen West Once Did Dickish Thing To Black People

But which jerkwad thing did Allen West do to black people, you might ask? He delivered Chick-fil-A to a Congressional Black Caucus meeting. They were not appreciative. A Democratic lawmaker says Rep. Allen West (R-Fla.) offended the entire Congressional Black Caucus by delivering Chick-fil-A chicken and biscuits to their weekly meeting — and then walking out — when it was his turn to provide the group with a formal lunch. Read more on Surprise: Allen West Once Did Dickish Thing To Black People… Read more on Surprise: Allen West Once Did Dickish Thing To Black People…
  great drive-thru confrontations of our times

Breaking News: A Liberal Acted Like A Total Jerk

So, this guy. Drivin’ up in his Prius, bursting with joy and righteousness about his purpose-driven life of haughtily lecturing minimum wage workers who should be ashamed of themselves for daring to have a job at a place that gives corporate donations dude does not agree with. And then, at the end, explaining to the calm pretty redhead, who manages to keep her pleasant demeanor throughout his harangue, don’t worry, it’s not like he’s a fag. Yeah, he’d totally let her give him a handy. (You know he was thinking it.) Read more on Breaking News: A Liberal Acted Like A Total Jerk…
  chicken = new starburst

Bill Kristol’s Dirtiest Fantasy: Watching Mitt Romney Eat Chicken

How is American journalism’s most fearless armchair-warrior, Weekly Standard editor and former New York Times fail dragon Bill Kristol, keeping himself occupied this election? Some may recall his useful role in the last presidential election, which was to recommend to his good friend John McCain the VP selection of Sarah Palin, whom he met during a Weekly Standard cruise one time and enjoyed. But Kristol’s been glum for most of the year, since none of his 10,000 entreaties to Rep. Paul Ryan could convince him to join the presidential race. No Iran wars yet, no fun VPs to recommend, no Paul Ryan to do his bidding: these are the dark days for William Kristol. The best he can offer to the Party these days is a cynical, borderline-gross blog post about how much he wants to watch Mitt Romney eat fast-food chicken. Read more on Bill Kristol’s Dirtiest Fantasy: Watching Mitt Romney Eat Chicken…
  i do not think those words mean what you think they mean

Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery

Who could forget the magical year 1999? Bill Clinton proved that it was Constitutional for the president to get a blowjob from a lady to whom he was not married, the stock market was on a nonstop rocket ride to the moon thanks to the new-fangled Internet, and Atlanta Braves relief pitcher John Rocker was fourth in the National League in saves with 38. Shouldn’t that have earned him to right to have people respect his opinions, like that Mets fans are trash who throw batteries at opposing players (true) and that it’s better not to have to look at HIV positive people and people with dyed hair and people who don’t speak English (more troubling)? Now, 13 years later, John Rocker has turned to America’s most esteemed publication, WorldNetDaily, to explain how people with certain conservative views are basically censored and put in jail everywhere in this country, without the censoring and jailing part. Read more on Briefly Famous Base-Ball Man John Rocker Thinks First Amendment Is Shield From Mockery…
  sad that gore vidal missed this

A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A

It is here, finally: Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, the brainchild of weekend cable television host Mike Huckabee and people who read his Facebook diaries. According to most reports, we’re seeing long fast food drive-thru lines across the nation, as Real Americans everywhere (but mostly in Real America) are rushing out of their homes to stick it to the queers and eat chicken sandwiches. Never before has the Obamacare individual mandate seemed so necessary. Let’s take a tour of some photos on the Twitter, of fast food lines. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of America’s Pilgrimage to Chick-Fil-A…
  mommy blogging

Chick-Fil-A Now Firing Women So They Can Stay Home And Make Babies, For Jesus

Hey hey Chick-fil-A, how many women did you fire for having children at home so they could be “stay home mothers” in blatant disregard for sex-discrimination laws and common decency and humanity on top of all your other pressing PR problems that are totally “neutral” in the culture wars today? Oh, just the one, Brenda Honeycutt of Duluth, Georgia? But maybe like five more? In just one restaurant? Well depending on your judge that may not be enough to show a pattern of willful discrimination, so by all means, carry on! Read more on Chick-Fil-A Now Firing Women So They Can Stay Home And Make Babies, For Jesus…
  chicken blows i suppose

Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company

The Chick-fil-A company, which produces these salty waffle fries and breaded/fried chickenish sandwiches with two pickles apiece that serve as delicious on-the-go college meals but otherwise just give you hella diabetes, is notoriously owned by a prominent family in the religious social conservative set. Its president last week admitted the company was “guilty as charged” when it comes to supporting marriage as one man, one woman exclusively: “We are a family-owned business, a family-led business, and we are married to our first wives.” Now all of these libtards, from the mayor of Boston to actor Ed Helms to “The Muppets,” have withdrawn their support from Chick-fil-A and intend to participate in boycotts. How glib! This infuriates former/current fat person Mike Huckabee so deeply that he is now calling for the creation of Chick-fil-A Appreciation Day, on Facebook. Read more on Mike Huckabee Orders You To Stop Criticizing This Anti-Gay Fast Food Chicken Company…
  "even dykes say yay"

Drag Queens Proclaim Their Love Of Super Christian Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A (VIDEO)

Chick-fil-A, great American chicken store, has this inconvenient reputation of being quite, quite Christian and, through its nonprofit organization, for supporting groups that are known to be anti-gay, like Focus on the Family and the Fellowship of Christian Athletes (WHICH EXISTS). WELL! In the name of Digging Freedom (this is actually how you dig freedom), three drag queens who call themselves Willam Belli, Detox, and Vicky Vox, put together this rather brilliant and professional music video. The ladies take Wilson Phillips’ “Hold On,” transform it into a catchy ode to fried boneless bird breasts and waffle fries, RAP, and say a polite “F U” to Chick-fil-A’s elderly gay-for-God billionaire CEO, S. Truett Cathy (while do these rich old men always have initials for first names???) Read more on Drag Queens Proclaim Their Love Of Super Christian Anti-Gay Chick-fil-A (VIDEO)…
  chicken anus burgers in the news

Chick-Fil-A Hates Gays

Have you wondered what in hell a “Chick-Fil-A” might be? It’s a company that sells a form of chicken anus on a stick, we think, and this same company helps the anti-homosexual fanatics by feeding them these McNuggetz, so they will die soon and no longer harass people. Something like that, we don’t care: Read more on Chick-Fil-A Hates Gays…