You know what is weird? When the journalists who have been objectively reporting your newses start taking jobs with the new president, and you begin to wonder if maybe they were lying to you all the time with their biased “facts” and “analysis.” It’s weird until you consider that nobody in media has jobs anymore, so of course if Barack Obama says “Hey would you like to tout the benefits of light rail for me?” you will jump at that in a heartbeat. MORE »

The Corner’s eagle-eyed investigative blog reporter Lisa Schiffren — of the famous “Obama’s Political Origins” column this time last year in which she wrote, “But, for a white woman to marry a black man in 1958, or 60, there was almost inevitably a connection to explicit Communist politics,” so as to prove that Barack Obama Junior hated America — has written a delightful screed detailing the Hypocrisy of that demonic hellshrew, Michelle Hussein Obama, devastatingly titled “Arugula with That?” Ha, get it, it’s like when Barack Obama said “arugula” one time, ever, in Iowa, summer 2007. Schiffren argues that since the Obamas would sometimes call this private chef’s food service in Chicago for the night, they are now… awful? MORE »

Hey wait a minute! You mean this Barack Obama, who was fairly liberal as an Illinois state senator, may have altered his position on such hot-button topics as gay marriage in order to become a more viable national candidate? It sounds crazy, but it just might be true! MORE »

Wow, this guy is a jerk. Here, in this exclusive CNN report on some old public-teevee food show in Chicago, we see that Barack Obama was being a fancy show-off even way back when he was a lowly state senator a few months ago. This restaurant-review episode never aired because Smooth Barry just shamed these poor slobs, who no longer had the will to talk, or even live. [CNN via Wonkette tipster "Bill Slider"]

• DUMB RESOLUTION PROPOSED TO DUMB ILLINOIS SENATE PROBLEM: Anybody who saw Harry Reid on Meet the Press this weekend probably noticed two things: First, rimless eyewear has a feminizing effect on the middle-aged male face, and second, Rod Blagojevich has hilariously bent this guy so far over that every time Harry Reid appears in public he is angrily trying to gather up his pants from around his ankles. The problem for Reid is he doesn’t want Blagojevich’s nominee for Senate, Roland Burris, to get the post, on account of the TAINT. But there’s really no LEGAL reason to keep Burris from getting appointed, so instead Reid mutters about the taint and “negotiates” by offering up hypothetical compromises that nobody likes. Such as: letting Burris serve for two years, as long as he promises not to run for re-election. WTF? [Political Ticker]

The very terrifying Lynn Sweet reports: “WASHINGTON—I’ve learned that Gov. Blagojevich is poised to name former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris to replace President elect Barack Obama in the Senate on Tuesday afternoon… Blagojevich called a press conference for 2 p.m. Chicago time at the Thompson State of Illinois Center.” Well this is sure to go over smoothly. Anyway, ha: “Senate Leader Harry Reid (D-Nv.) had said he would ask the Senate not to seat any Blagojevich appointee, in order to make sure the seat is free of taint.” [Chicago Sun-Times]

• SCREW YOU GUYS, I’M GOING TO THE JUNGLE: Rahm Emanuel is supposed to be cleared of any wrongdoing in the Obama team’s internal report on perceived collaborations with Gov. Blaggy, which will be released at 4:30 ET. But just in case, Rahm has peaced the fuck out to Africa. [HuffPo]

Mobland Chicago is all about crime, dancing on chairs while wearing fishnet/tuxedo combos, corruption, and gruesome paintings of terrible, naked politicians. This one bar, the world-famous Old Town Ale House, is also known for co-owner Bruce Elliot’s whimsical smutty paintings, such as recent sensation “Naked Sarah Palin.” Now he has painted a naked Rod Blagojevich, wearing (of course) an orange jumpsuit, but it’s around his ankles as he is being raped in prison. Somebody please go over there and snap a photo; meanwhile here is the delightful parachuting Blaggy painting by Lauri Apple. [Chicago Tribune]

Do you see that, friends, do you see what the Chicago Sun-Times is writing about Blagodicks’ hair? This is like a bad version of 9/11 — the psychologists (the intelligence community) could tell from his sexy hair (the intelligence) that he would be comically corrupt (fly into two tall buildings). When will clinical psychologist Scott Ambers (George Tenet) apologize for not warning Illinois (America) about Rod Blagojevich’s hair? MORE »

Ha ha, sucks: “WASHINGTON — Federal authorities on Wednesday identified Democratic Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. of Illinois as the potential United States Senate candidate who was portrayed in court papers made public Tuesday as being the most deeply enmeshed in the alleged scheme by Gov. Rod Blagojevich to benefit from his appointment of a new senator to the seat vacated by President-elect Barack Obama.” Uh oh, Daddy Jackson will have to CUT HIS NUTZ OFF now. MORE »

Wonkette political symbolism operative “Nicole” informs us of this photograph from the liberal New York Times depicting Blaggy, dressed to the nines, leaving prison after his best friend Barack Obama posted bail. We have a hunch that the very artistic NYT photographer was “going for something” by including this haunting poster of a common Chicago street rat in the foreground. It is a true fact that these posters are on every wall and telephone wire pole in Chicago, near the actual rats. [NYT]