Tag Archives: chicago thugs

  yay

Cheers For This Illinois Lady Who Voted On Her Way To Give Birth

Hey, kids, let’s take a break from all the worry about voter suppression and screwy voting machines and give a big round of applause to Galicia Malone, 21, who, despite having labor contractions 5 minutes apart, stopped by her local polling place in the Chicago suburb of Dolton to cast her first-ever vote in a presidential election, before continuing on to the hospital. Congrats to Mom and baby! Read more on Cheers For This Illinois Lady Who Voted On Her Way To Give Birth…
  where's mine?

Goodbye Forever: A Children’s Treasury of Rahm Emanuel Moments

Barack Obama just gave Rahm Emanuel a hearty kick in the ass, and Rahm rolled right out the door of the White House and into the trunk of Air Force Thug, the special Chicago mob car they use to travel back and forth to their home city, using a bootleggers’ tunnel that runs beneath the Erie Canal and the Great Lakes straight to John Dillinger’s Kenyan Socialist BDSM dungeon beneath Mayor Daley’s mausoleum (it’s the one with the star and crescent). Does anyone even remember the long-ago days when “Rahm Emanuel” was kind of a thing, and you people anxiously clicked blog posts about his adventures, which mostly consisted of having weird brothers and not having one of his fingers and just cold saving people’s lives all over theaters in Washington like a reverse John Wilkes Booth? Well, you did. You people loved Rahm Emanuel. Let’s laugh together, one more time. Read more on Goodbye Forever: A Children’s Treasury of Rahm Emanuel Moments…