Wonkette

So last night in the debate John McCain mentioned this despicable project Barack Obama supported, Chicago-style, by throwing 3 million of taxpayers’ dollars at some overhead projector in a planetarium. It was made of pork! Which is just weird, since Muslims aren’t supposed to like pigs, or celestial navigation. MORE »

Here we have Sarah Palin in oils, thanks to some Chicago bar owner who painted this one himself! And he hangs it in his bar, so now everyone comes to his bar to see his nude depiction of Sarah Palin. This bar owner, he is a disgusting perv: “His daughter, who looks a little like Palin and does a great impression of her, served as model for the governor’s body.” [Chicago Tribune]

Ooh, it’s the new scary McCain ad! Alas, it leaves out William Ayers, Jeremiah Wright, the Rosenbergs, and Jane Fonda. They are all from Chicago, and they all have implanted chips in Barack Obama’s brain that make him Not Ready to Lead. [YouTube]

A Girl Scout troop in a Chicago-area suburb asked both Barack Obama and John McCain for some campaign schwag so they could get their “Ms. President” badges, and the McCain campaign was like, “OK yes here you go cute Girl Scouts, here is a huge box of crap for you, someday you will remember this and vote Republican!!” while the jagoffs at Obama HQ hemmed and hawed. Jesus, how bad are they at training their staff that two separate people say, “Sorry adorable young symbols of all that is right and good with America, we don’t give away valuable pins for free”? MORE »

Here is veteran CBS hand Bob Schieffer remembering his favorite convention memories from the past. He treated the 1968 Democratic convention as a sex holiday, because that’s where he impregnated his wife, as was the style of the time. [YouTube]

• BOB NOVAK RETIRES: Because of the cancer. He’s been writing his column since 1963, the year Lyndon Johnson became president. [Chicago Sun-Times]

So we got this email (addressed to Andrew Sullivan) from a guy who claims to be “a former student of Obama,” and he shares exciting details of the Obama Classroom from a dozen years ago. Do you want to read this? There are parts about how well dressed Professor Obama was, compared to the usual Law School slobs. And this “former student” account was supposedly written by an “Adam B,” yet a “Martin Rosenberg” sent the gmail! So much intrigue! (UPDATE: All figured out, as Adam B. writes us to say he posted this on Daily Kos in 2007! Okay, then, let’s read it! MORE »

Barack Obama used to be the greatest enemy of America: a PROFESSOR, of Law. He is still the greatest enemy of America (he’s a Mooz), but he used to be worse. Because with an advanced, post-industrial economy where the only jobs available are for those with an education, America rightfully despises education and its self-styled provocateurs. Obama, in his 12 years as a professor of Constitutional Law — a subject held in such high disregard in this country that Obama himself ignores it — was basically awful, because he made his students take tests and write a lot of words. Let’s “examine” one of his wretched Final Examinations that the New York Times folks have unearthed, and grade it. MORE »

By March or April or whenever it was that she got fired, everybody knew that Patti Solis Doyle was personally responsible for every single thing that went wrong with the Clinton campaign, except for the things Mark Penn and Bill Clinton and the candidate herself and even Harold Ickes were responsible for. Ms. Doyle was banished to her native Chicago uranium mines with only her public humiliation to keep her company, until the Obama campaign hired her, with predictable results: the Clinton people went insane with rage. MORE »

July 17, 2008 — remember it, because it’s the day Barack Obama lost the second black presidency of the United States. Two breaking articles about Obama’s shamefully rigorous workout regime are getting the full Drudge treatment, and folks, this stuff is far more damaging than “Whitey” ever would have been. Here’s the skinny: yesterday, Hopey spent 188 minutes exercising, spread across three separate trips to the gym. This stands as further proof that Barack Obama is not an Average American, because the Average American weighs 750 pounds and spends 188 minutes of the day masturbating to amateur donkey porn on the Internet. MORE »

Who cares about the stupid New Yorker cover? It just makes the silly-sallies at the Obama campaign look like, uh, silly-sallies, and makes the New Yorker look terribly unfunny, which it is, except for that Anthony Lane who is a stitch. No, the New Yorker is a not a comedic but a Journalistic magazine — and it can also help you figure out your summer vacations plans! Since you all have no homes or money, consider spending your “staycation” this way: roll yourself in a barrel down the street to your nearest public library with free Internet access, go to NewYorker.com and spend an ENTIRE WEEK reading Ryan Lizza’s 15,000-word — that’s 15 internet pages! — opus on Barack Obama’s Chicago days. What fun! We heard that Barack Obama threatens to kick someone’s ass in the piece, and since we are Dumb Americans, we found this juicy bit and read nothing else. MORE »

Ed Hale’s majestic website, Ex-Hillary Clinton Supporters For John McCain, has already conquered the Internet several times over, and is now looking towards new, uncharted waters: “print newspapers.” The next step in Evolution, avast! Here’s Ed’s rallying cry in the “plans” section of his site: “Ok, it is time to get serious and let the DNP know that we are not coming home in the fall. One of our member said it was time to take action and I agree.” PREPARE FOR THE NUCLEAR OPTION: a single half-page ad in one local tabloid newspaper. Appearing once! Ed’ll show these “shifty-eyeds” indeed! MORE »

Barack Obama’s presidential campaign is hiring like CRAYZEE these days, and one of the people they just brought on board is a gal by the name of “Patti Solis Doyle.” You might remember her for driving the Clinton campaign into a ditch with her bazillion-dollar donut budget, megawatt smile, and general air of failure. Now she’ll bring that same magic to Generation Obama as the chief of staff to the yet-to-be-named VP candidate: a person whose name is almost certain not to rhyme with “Zillary Blinton.” MORE »

• OBAMA LETS DNC MOVE IN WITH HIM: It never ends with this guy. First he steals all of Hillary’s Florida and Michigan delegates, from women, and now he is stealing the entire DNC. According to Politico’s Ben Smith, “In a major shakeup at the Democratic National Committee — and a departure from tradition — large parts of the committee’s operations are relocating to Chicago to be fully integrated with the Obama campaign.” You’re letting the DNC move in with you, Barry? Well when it demands that you marry it, to make it “an honest DNC,” don’t say we didn’t warn you. [Ben Smith]