* Dick Cheney’s new book, “If I Did It: Faking the Case for War,” soon to be released. [HuffPo]
* Teenagers rejoice as new Democratic Congress promises drug-filled condoms in schools. [Right was Right]
* Newt Gingrich forgets to take his megalomania medication, gives interview. [Political Wire]
* Enterprising hipsters look to break the yellow ribbon monopoly on Iraq War-themed SUV adornment. [Ride Lugged]
* Military doesn’t believe in love, tells Cher to where to stick her documentary. [NYDN]
* Bust a nut for peace. [MoJo Blog]

• Rush & Molloy: Diane Sawyer most demanding VIP in Martha’s Vineyard. Bill and Hillary Clinton appear everywhere at once. Newt Gingrich pitches Hillary-esque sit-com. [NYDN]
• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Hillary Clinton and Gail Sheehy catfight looms (first item). [NYDN]
• Cindy Adams: Some guy from Wyoming trashes Ann Coulter (first item). [NYP]
• The Reliable Source: Ken Mehlman wants to share Bush’s b-day presents with all Republicans (second item). Karl Rove stares at the walls (third item). [WP]
• Liz Smith: President Bush a member of the “60 in ‘06″ club. Other members include Diane Sawyer, Liza Minnelli, and Cher. [NYP]

It’s a very gay week in Wonk’d. Cher was at the Capitol, Andre Leon Talley was shopping for make-up in Dupont, and Jenna Bush was enjoying some musical theater. Connecticut Senator Chris Dodd gets man-handled at a Hill bar, and Wolf Blitzer is dropping some pounds and dressing sassy. Some bold-facers defy stereotypes though, like Wizards player Donell Taylor, shopping sans entourage, and Mark Shields, driving the way liberal pundits shouldn’t. At least you can always count on Wonk’d — and Katherine Harris’s taste in outfits.

Sooner or later everyone comes to Washington. When they do, it’s your duty as citizens of this fair city to make sure they get spotted and end up in these pages, er, screens. Whatever; just email us, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, and the name of the sightee. You, the sighter, will remain anonymous — at least until your big break, when people start sending in sightings of you!

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• Cindy Adams: Cindy Adams told you that Patrick Kennedy would get cuddled, coddled by Cap Police. [NYP]

• Reliable Source: Everyone in Congress loves Cher. Mary Bono’s spokesperson says they’re “like family” … Barely any Washingtonians on People’s “Hottest Bachelors” list. [WP]

• Page Six: First daughter Barbara Bush hunts for jobs on Craigslist, applies for position at the Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum in New York. [NYP]

• Reliable Source: Rumors of Placido Domingo’s retirement greatly exaggerated… Three-year-old has “NewsHour With Jim Lehrer”-themed birthday party. [WP]
• Heard on the Hill: Democrats faring well in the “Hottest Man in U.S. Politics” contest… Newly elected Rep. Brian Bilbray (R-CA) presented with “greatest surfer in Congress” award by colleagues… House Majority Leader John Boehner loves the Weather Channel. [Roll Call]
• Under the Dome: Sen. Arlen Specter (R-PA) spotted wearing a Nationals cap… Robert Novak has submitted the manuscript of his memoir to his publisher. [The Hill]
• Lowdown: Keith Olbermann sends obscene emails to viewers… Cher hits Capitol Hill to promote her helmet program. [NYDN]

• Reliable Source: Cher makes another call to C-SPAN’s “Washington Journal” — at 4:20 her time — to advocate safety upgrades for troops in Iraq. [WP]

• Lloyd Grove’s Lowdown: Kelsey Grammer may seek office: “I think the problem in government is that everything is measured. Politics is a game of equivocation, but there can be no half-measures in dealing with the difficulties we face abroad… I believe that George Bush has taken a valiant stance in a dangerous time for this country.” [NYDN]