John McCain was a mere 90 years old when Democratic superdelegate Jason Rae was born. The now 21-year-old rose to stardom at the age of 17, when he defeated the president of the Wisconsin state firefighter’s union and was elected to the DNC at the state party convention. Now Chelsea Clinton, her dad and every other Democrat you have ever heard of is calling him up and trying to lock down his superdelegate vote. What are they promising him? Bong rips? [ABC News]

AND NOW HE’S FIRED: David Shuster sort of called Chelsea Clinton a whore, so now he’s “suspended” from, uh, guest hosting Tucker Carlson’s show? [Media Matters]

He may apologize later tonight, but MSNBC’s David Shuster totally thinks Chelsea Clinton is a prostitute. He has a point though — look at those clothes! There are breasts flying everywhere. Still, this is such a big deal that Hillary Clinton may never appear in an MSNBC debate again, ever. [MSNBC]

America is doomed. The Nebraska Supreme Court — probably “loaded” with gay Democrats — ruled today that “electrocution is cruel and unusual punishment, outlawing the electric chair in the only state that still used it as its sole means of execution.” Jesus, where’s the Soviet Union when you need it? MORE »

Yesterday while filling in for c-list teevee host Tucker Carlson on the MSNBC program Tucker, David Shuster asked the following question: “Doesn’t it seem as if Chelsea is sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?” He was referencing the way in which Chelsea has been calling various superdelegates asking for their support. As if the circumstances in any way matter, the answer to the question is yes. Or, more emphatically, YES! Lord knows what that Chelsea is offering these superdelegates. Either way, Shuster will apologize tonight after the Clinton people made some kinda fuss. Whores, all of them. [The Trail]

While Hillary Clinton’s youth and virility make the college kids swoon during campus visits, grumpy, senile daughter Chelsea Clinton — the oldest person on earth — doesn’t possess her mom’s hippie prowess. We have empirical evidence! A Wonkette “student” operative found Chelsea on the University of Nebraska campus today. “I think she was lost,” the operative — who is a total stitch — says. Check out how she invigorated that very youthful demographic: MORE »

Hillary, it seems, is the most broke human on the planet, according to campaign spokesman Howard Wolfson:

“Late last month Senator Clinton loaned her campaign $5 million.The loan illustrates Sen. Clinton’s commitment to this effort and to ensuring that our campaign has the resources it needs to compete and win across this nation. We have had one of our best fundraising efforts ever on the web stoday and our Super Tuesday victories will only help in bringing more support for her candidacy.”

Hillary, Hillary. Didn’t your parents ever tell you? You have to marry UP to go places in this world. [Ben Smith]

Hillary trots out her daughter on the campaign trail to convert younger voters, and what happens? A 9-year-old reporter for Scholastic News has the temerity to ask if Bill would make a good “first man,” and Chelsea tells her “I’m sorry, I don’t talk to the press, and that applies to you, unfortunately.” Stay classy! [WSJ]

Give credit to The Clintons for the job they’ve done raising Chelsea. Chelsea was born deaf and dumb, a veritable “wild child” who the schoolteachers couldn’t tame. But after 20-odd years, through Bill and Hillary’s tutelage, she now speaks “words.” And since she’s young, she can use this new talent to talk to other young people about her struggle with muteness. It wasn’t an ordinary job, getting this demon to speak like a person. But Bill and Hillary aren’t ordinary people.

Everybody’s favorite 12-year-old ugly child, Chelsea Clinton, is now somewhat hot, and it seems The Clintons have been using that trait at various sorority houses throughout the country to win election points. And she totally supports her mom, because she’s her mom after all! As she told the LA Times, “I find my mom very inspiring.” [Pause]. “But I’m biased.” We understand, formerly ugly girl. [LA Times]

Despite the fact that Chelsea has been campaigning all month for her mother in Iowa, she has yet to say an official word. She even refused an interview with a 9 year-old reporter yesterday. Chelsea apparently works the room before and after her mother’s speeches, asking people to caucus for her mother, but has an aide whose job it is to keep reporters from ever talking to her. Um, Chelsea? You’re 27 and are actively campaigning for your mom, and that’s cool. But it’s really, really uncool that you’re trying to have your privacy cake and eat it too. Either accept that by campaigning you have made yourself a public figure, or get off the stage. And reporters following Hillary and abiding by the don’t-talk-to-Chelsea policy? Grow a pair. [CBS News]