Wonkette
Wish Hillary A Happy Mother's Day!
Oh she's just asking for it this time. This is our way of saying, "No." [Hillary Clinton]
Posts Tagged “Chelsea Clinton”
psycho
Oh she's just asking for it this time. This is our way of saying, "No." [Hillary Clinton]
Oh she's just asking for it this time. This is our way of saying, "No." [Hillary Clinton]
our future president
Hillary Clinton is pimping out her daughter on Puerto Rico today, and by golly it worked! Luisette Cabanas, a previously undecided superdelegate, has just announced her support for Hillary Clinton with Chelsea by her side. What magical powers did Chelsea employ? Did it involve a knife and a severed cat's head? [Marc Ambinder]
Chelsea Clinton Proves Useful!
Hillary Clinton is pimping out her daughter on Puerto Rico today, and by golly it worked! Luisette Cabanas, a previously undecided superdelegate, has just announced her support for Hillary Clinton with Chelsea by her side. What magical powers did Chelsea employ? Did it involve a knife and a severed cat's head? [Marc Ambinder]
sisters in democratic politics
While her mother was off getting ignored by Republicans, Chelsea Clinton took a few days in sunny Puerto Rico to address a group of nuns. Her father Bill stayed on the plane, saying, "Poke me when we get to Vegas." [AP story and photo]
Chelsea Clinton Nuns It Up
While her mother was off getting ignored by Republicans, Chelsea Clinton took a few days in sunny Puerto Rico to address a group of nuns. Her father Bill stayed on the plane, saying, "Poke me when we get to Vegas." [AP story and photo]
must be some votin up in here
It's Hillary's Friends, And Stephanie Tubbs Jones Shouting!
Here is some video from last night's Hillary Clinton rally at the University of Pennsylvania, including Stephanie Tubbs Jones getting fired up and having a verbal hernia. There's a cappella and some cameraman giving Liz the middle finger. Then the Mayor of Philadelphia, Michael Nutter, says "MUST BE SOME VOTIN GETTIN READY TO HAPPEN UP IN HERE." Then Chelsea comes on and says "my mom and my dad blah blah blah, I am the human in this family." Then Bill Clinton lies, he lies a lot. You've never heard someone lie more in your life than you have Bill Clinton at a rally for his wife. But he sounds so nice, still. Then they play a song from the Ford commercials, the end.
pennsylvania primary 2008, forever
Here's Chelsea onstage with the cocksucker father of hers, Governor Ed "I Teach Here So Why Are You All Pretending To Be Excited About My Appearance" Rendell, and that black Philadelphia mayor who for some reason doesn't support Obama. Ed Rendell says, "I'll pass it over to Chelsea, who's got some 'splainin' to do." Like Ricky Ricardo! But what does it mean? Maybe Chelsea will 'Splain why all these people are here for Hillary when she's already lost the election. Either way, the crowd goes wild. They are drooling like fools.
It's Chelsea And Three Dudes!
Here's Chelsea onstage with the cocksucker father of hers, Governor Ed "I Teach Here So Why Are You All Pretending To Be Excited About My Appearance" Rendell, and that black Philadelphia mayor who for some reason doesn't support Obama. Ed Rendell says, "I'll pass it over to Chelsea, who's got some 'splainin' to do." Like Ricky Ricardo! But what does it mean? Maybe Chelsea will 'Splain why all these people are here for Hillary when she's already lost the election. Either way, the crowd goes wild. They are drooling like fools.
annals of pimping
Chelsea was doing a gay bar crawl in Philadelphia on Friday night and while she was walking around some lady said "I grabbed her ass," and David Shuster wept because this was proof positive that the Clintons were pimping their daughter out.
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Chelsea Clinton Groped By Lesbians
Chelsea was doing a gay bar crawl in Philadelphia on Friday night and while she was walking around some lady said "I grabbed her ass," and David Shuster wept because this was proof positive that the Clintons were pimping their daughter out.
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new monsters
This Chelsea Clinton, she's going places. In the 2044 election she will go straight to the third-place finish in the Democratic primary, with Malia Obama in first and Hillary Clinton in second. This is because she has learned to tell hilarious lies, much like her working-class mother and pink father. She has been going on about how a couple of guys in New Hampshire yelled out at her, "Iron my shirt!" and that they were dead serious, and sexist, and you should vote for Hillary Clinton. But the two dudes (who are probably still awful) were New England radio hosts doing it as a complete prank. They love women after all! Why does Chelsea continue to lie about their INTENTIONS?
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Alas, Chelsea Clinton Learns To Lie
This Chelsea Clinton, she's going places. In the 2044 election she will go straight to the third-place finish in the Democratic primary, with Malia Obama in first and Hillary Clinton in second. This is because she has learned to tell hilarious lies, much like her working-class mother and pink father. She has been going on about how a couple of guys in New Hampshire yelled out at her, "Iron my shirt!" and that they were dead serious, and sexist, and you should vote for Hillary Clinton. But the two dudes (who are probably still awful) were New England radio hosts doing it as a complete prank. They love women after all! Why does Chelsea continue to lie about their INTENTIONS?
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chelsea
Everyone should ask Chelsea Clinton about Monica Lewinsky at every possible opportunity. Chelsea is like 45 years old now — 24 years older than Monica Lewinsky will ever be! America's favorite brace-face can handle it. [MSNBC]
Chelsea Continually Harassed About Monica Lewinsky
Everyone should ask Chelsea Clinton about Monica Lewinsky at every possible opportunity. Chelsea is like 45 years old now — 24 years older than Monica Lewinsky will ever be! America's favorite brace-face can handle it. [MSNBC]
what is wrong with her?
Chelsea Clinton was giving a speech about her awful mother today when some wiseacre asked her to "choose between her parents." Surely this brought up years of teenage therapy where her shrink trained her to not do that. But she answered anyway: "His question is, 'Do I think my mother will be a better president than my father'... Well, again, I don't take anything for granted, but hopefully with Pennsylvania's help, she will be our next president, and yes, I do think she'll be a better president." Members in the audience missed the last part, however, because they were still trying to figure out what "take anything for granted" was referring to. [First Read]
Chelsea Clinton Throws Dad Under the Bus
Chelsea Clinton was giving a speech about her awful mother today when some wiseacre asked her to "choose between her parents." Surely this brought up years of teenage therapy where her shrink trained her to not do that. But she answered anyway: "His question is, 'Do I think my mother will be a better president than my father'... Well, again, I don't take anything for granted, but hopefully with Pennsylvania's help, she will be our next president, and yes, I do think she'll be a better president." Members in the audience missed the last part, however, because they were still trying to figure out what "take anything for granted" was referring to. [First Read]
the bosnia trip
Here's the best video ever, again, that contrasts Hillary's account of being shot at by snipers in Bosnia with what really happened — she greeted children while Sinbad and Sheryl Crow boogied in the background. Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson responded to the objective lie today with the closest Clinton admission to guilt in History: "It is possible" that she "misspoke." If you think like Ken Starr, that is! More »
Clinton Campaign Claims Hillary "Misspoke" With Blatant, Hilarious Bosnia Lie
Here's the best video ever, again, that contrasts Hillary's account of being shot at by snipers in Bosnia with what really happened — she greeted children while Sinbad and Sheryl Crow boogied in the background. Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson responded to the objective lie today with the closest Clinton admission to guilt in History: "It is possible" that she "misspoke." If you think like Ken Starr, that is! More »
the comedy rule of three
Ever wondered what would happen if two attractive feminists and one corpulent Hollywood director went to a Texas gay bar to round up votes for Hillary Clinton? One brave Dallas reader went deep under cover to bring you this exclusive investigative report. All the sordid details, after the jump!
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Letter From Dallas: Chelsea Clinton, Rob Reiner, And Gloria Steinem Walk Into A Bar
Ever wondered what would happen if two attractive feminists and one corpulent Hollywood director went to a Texas gay bar to round up votes for Hillary Clinton? One brave Dallas reader went deep under cover to bring you this exclusive investigative report. All the sordid details, after the jump!
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new obama supporters
Chelsea Clinton recently went on a much-publicized breakfast date with Jason Rae, the 21-year-old Democratic superdelegate college student, in an attempt to sway him towards Camp Hillary. Something went wrong — too much teeth, perhaps? — and he’s decided to endorse Barack Obama. According to Rae, “It is a difficult choice for anyone, but in the end, the choice for me has become clear. I am proudly supporting Senator Barack Obama.” Aww poor Chels! Practice on a banana, sweetheart, and forget Jason Rae ever existed. [CNN]
Child Superdelegate Dumps Chelsea, Endorses Obama
Chelsea Clinton recently went on a much-publicized breakfast date with Jason Rae, the 21-year-old Democratic superdelegate college student, in an attempt to sway him towards Camp Hillary. Something went wrong — too much teeth, perhaps? — and he’s decided to endorse Barack Obama. According to Rae, “It is a difficult choice for anyone, but in the end, the choice for me has become clear. I am proudly supporting Senator Barack Obama.” Aww poor Chels! Practice on a banana, sweetheart, and forget Jason Rae ever existed. [CNN]
hardballs
After all of his foul hate speech about former First Moppet Chelsea Clinton, David Shuster should just be glad he gets to keep his life. Apparently he will get to keep his job, too! According to an MSNBC spokesperson, Shuster will be permitted to return to work someday, perhaps when Roger is the fourth and final Clinton elected to the nation’s highest office. [The Horse’s Mouth]
David Shuster Will Not Be Staked On Hill Of Hungry Ants After All
After all of his foul hate speech about former First Moppet Chelsea Clinton, David Shuster should just be glad he gets to keep his life. Apparently he will get to keep his job, too! According to an MSNBC spokesperson, Shuster will be permitted to return to work someday, perhaps when Roger is the fourth and final Clinton elected to the nation’s highest office. [The Horse’s Mouth]
the youth vote
John McCain was a mere 90 years old when Democratic superdelegate Jason Rae was born. The now 21-year-old rose to stardom at the age of 17, when he defeated the president of the Wisconsin state firefighter’s union and was elected to the DNC at the state party convention. Now Chelsea Clinton, her dad and every other Democrat you have ever heard of is calling him up and trying to lock down his superdelegate vote. What are they promising him? Bong rips? [ABC News]
Meet A Very Young Superdelegate!
John McCain was a mere 90 years old when Democratic superdelegate Jason Rae was born. The now 21-year-old rose to stardom at the age of 17, when he defeated the president of the Wisconsin state firefighter’s union and was elected to the DNC at the state party convention. Now Chelsea Clinton, her dad and every other Democrat you have ever heard of is calling him up and trying to lock down his superdelegate vote. What are they promising him? Bong rips? [ABC News]
AND NOW HE’S FIRED: David Shuster sort of called Chelsea Clinton a whore, so now he’s “suspended” from, uh, guest hosting Tucker Carlson’s show? [Media Matters]
nation of whores
Here's That David Shuster Guy Calling Chelsea a Whore
He may apologize later tonight, but MSNBC’s David Shuster totally thinks Chelsea Clinton is a prostitute. He has a point though — look at those clothes! There are breasts flying everywhere. Still, this is such a big deal that Hillary Clinton may never appear in an MSNBC debate again, ever. [MSNBC]
activist judges
America is doomed. The Nebraska Supreme Court — probably “loaded” with gay Democrats — ruled today that “electrocution is cruel and unusual punishment, outlawing the electric chair in the only state that still used it as its sole means of execution.” Jesus, where’s the Soviet Union when you need it?
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Nebraska Inexplicably Gets Rid of Death Chair
America is doomed. The Nebraska Supreme Court — probably “loaded” with gay Democrats — ruled today that “electrocution is cruel and unusual punishment, outlawing the electric chair in the only state that still used it as its sole means of execution.” Jesus, where’s the Soviet Union when you need it?
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nation of whores
Yesterday while filling in for c-list teevee host Tucker Carlson on the MSNBC program Tucker, David Shuster asked the following question: “Doesn’t it seem as if Chelsea is sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?” He was referencing the way in which Chelsea has been calling various superdelegates asking for their support. As if the circumstances in any way matter, the answer to the question is yes. Or, more emphatically, YES! Lord knows what that Chelsea is offering these superdelegates. Either way, Shuster will apologize tonight after the Clinton people made some kinda fuss. Whores, all of them. [The Trail]
David Shuster To Apologize For Half-Calling Chelsea Clinton a Whore
Yesterday while filling in for c-list teevee host Tucker Carlson on the MSNBC program Tucker, David Shuster asked the following question: “Doesn’t it seem as if Chelsea is sort of being pimped out in some weird sort of way?” He was referencing the way in which Chelsea has been calling various superdelegates asking for their support. As if the circumstances in any way matter, the answer to the question is yes. Or, more emphatically, YES! Lord knows what that Chelsea is offering these superdelegates. Either way, Shuster will apologize tonight after the Clinton people made some kinda fuss. Whores, all of them. [The Trail]