Could this possibly be true? Famous MSNBC reporter David Shuster, who once boldly suggested that Hillary Clinton was a pimp who shopped around her daughter for cash in exchange for sex, allegedly has a bald spot, and allegedly gets very upset when his bald spot appears on the television. Who is the “source close to production” who tattled to Page Six about this possible problem of David Shuster’s? Hillary Clinton, probably. [Page Six]

Alright, so we caved. We were at Borders and noticed New Yorker film critic David Denby’s new book, Snark, about how he hates bloggers, Sarah Palin, Maureen Dowd, Tom Wolfe and others for the exact same undefined reason. We actually bought the book (YOU’RE WELCOME DENBY) and were planning to skim for the Wonkette part, giggle, and then give the slender volume away to the nearest hobo. So, OH MAN. First he references one of your male associate editor’s posts about Chelsea Clinton and suggests that the “young women” who wrote it must have some catty jealousy issues, with their vaginas. Then he writes that we made fun of Ted Kennedy on the day of his brain tumor surgery, citing a post about something else entirely that was written seven months before Kennedy even got cancer. Damn those bloggers, always trying to ruin other peoples’ reputations with false information! MORE »

What is this “chairman’s prerogative” John Kerry is invoking here? Gross. [YouTube]

A delightfully insane person has e-mailed us and approximately 400 other tip or info lines asking politely if he can be Senator from New York. He wants to take over for two years until Chelsea Clinton is 30 and can rightfully claim her seat. You must read (skim) his full blog post about this. “Oh- I’m just the ’strwaw man- so i’ll read the script, act the part, do the ’show’, and let my handlers, and staff run things- its simpler that way,” he writes, “for 2 years- till chelsea clinton is 30, and can take over the show..” The commentary is interspersed among dozens of photos of celebrities and politicians. [X-WIRE]

John McCain’s always had a hearty arsenal of “cocktail party jokes,” including several about killing Iranian civilians with either bombs or exported American cancer, and another about Chelsea Clinton being ugly because her father is Janet Reno’s penis. These jokes, however, can’t shake a stick at the latest gem someone has unearthed from a 1986 copy of the Tucson Citizen, one that got him in a tit-bit of trouble at the time. After the jump: McCain’s crack about the gorilla who rapes and murders some gal in the street. MORE »

Check out the e-mail Hillary Clinton sent us this morning: “In May, Chelsea announced our ‘Project T-Shirt’ contest, and I never imagined we would have such an outpouring of support and great designs. …If you contribute $50 today you’ll get a t-shirt with the winning design and continue to help me pay down our campaign debt.” Some PUMA person is freaking about the deadline for retiring Hillary’s campaign debt being tomorrow, which is about the only logical explanation for her team selling this piece of shit-on-cloth for $50. Coming tomorrow: buy a pebble Hillary Clinton found on the side of I-95 for only $2,300! [Hillary Clinton]

Tomorrow is quittin’ time for Hillary Clinton, so today she threw a big farewell bash for her 500-person staff at her Georgetown home, Whitehaven Manor Castle, “in the back yard by the swimming pool.” And although Hillary could’ve served the troops just fine, thank you, with her trademark potato salad recipe — which consists of bourbon and no potatoes at all — she donated another $11 million to her campaign for catering! “All morning, workers brought tables, food, and bags of ice through the side gate, assisted by Secret Service agents. Valets helped park cars to keep them off the quiet one-way street.” Oh boy!

UPDATE BELOW: We’re hearing that many sad pandas on Team Clinton didn’t get invited. MORE »

Aww, poor old Hillary must be feeling the pressure a little bit, because she’s turning on the windshield wipers for the, what, third time? She cried again in a CNN interview today, this time while discussing her daughter. She says while crying that having Chelsea on the trail has been one of the “most incredibly gratifying experiences” of her life, and you know what? We’ll grant her that. But then… MORE »

The young lass who just a few short years ago wowed the world by dodging sniper fire in Bosnia will not be able to deliver a repeat performance dodging bombs in Puerto Rico because people in the Navy are mean.
For those of you who were alive way back in the late 1990s, you will recall that Vieques is a little spot in Puerto Rico the military used to bomb the shit out of, for practice, and people protested it occasionally until a bomb killed a security guard and they shut the whole thing down. MORE »

Oh she’s just asking for it this time. This is our way of saying, “No.” [Hillary Clinton]

Hillary Clinton is pimping out her daughter on Puerto Rico today, and by golly it worked! Luisette Cabanas, a previously undecided superdelegate, has just announced her support for Hillary Clinton with Chelsea by her side. What magical powers did Chelsea employ? Did it involve a knife and a severed cat’s head? [Marc Ambinder]