Tag Archives: chase

  Brosé before José

Douchebag Hipsters Named Trevor Would Like A Glass Of Your Finest Rosé Please

Yup.
First off, apologies to all the Trevors, but we had to pick a name, so we went with Trevor. Or Chase. It could easily be Chase. Would Hunter like to join us? Sup bro? What shall we do this evening, with our hipster, trend piece, easily marketed to, Instagram-American selves? Well, why don’t we drink a really disgusting wine, which marketing executives and professional trendsetters have been trying to rebrand as something OTHER than “it is TOO different from white zinfandel, because it is French, which makes it CLASSY, even though it kind of tastes like mouth herpes”? Anyway, meet some bros who are into rosé, and who call it “brosé,” because putting the word “bro” into other words is a super cute pun, but in a manly way: Read more on Douchebag Hipsters Named Trevor Would Like A Glass Of Your Finest Rosé Please…
  gypsies tramps and thieves

Jamie Dimon Doesn’t Need No Regulations, Says Jamie Dimon

Remember that whole thing a few years ago, something about how the banks ruined the housing industry, your employment prospects, your children’s employment prospects, and the entire country, really, and in turn got billions of dollars from the taxpayers and continue to rake enormous bonuses and pretty much set the economic policy of the entire nation? Think hard now — remember that? And remember how basically nothing happened to make sure that banks weren’t too big to fail, and how no one went to jail, and how the bankers kept making lots of money while we all went about trying to restore the pieces of our shattered lives? Do you find it “stunning” that such unaccountability acting in combination with the lack of serious financial regulations has meant that JP Morgan kept screwing around with synthetic credit default swaps and lost about two billion or so dollars? Because Gretchen Morgenson from the New York Times finds it “stunning” that this atmosphere of lax enforcement has led to JP Morgan head Jamie Dimon acting all “sloppy” and “stupid.” Read more on Jamie Dimon Doesn’t Need No Regulations, Says Jamie Dimon…
  i hate banks just can't stand 'em

Saturday Is Bank Transfer Day, So What Will You (We) Do?

It says a lot about the Internet that the first thing we saw about the November 5 Anti-Bank Action Day was a snide remark. Something along the lines of “Good job dumb hippies, banks are closed on Saturday.” First of all, not true at all! Bank headquarters are closed on Saturday, but most bank branches nationwide are open on Saturdays, at least until noon. And, for those who still have weekday work schedules, Saturday makes a lot more sense than, say, a weekday. Anyway, tomorrow — Saturday, November 5 — is Bank Transfer Day. If you’re still using a Wall Street Bank, meaning any of the big chain banks, it’s time to Occupy your branch office and close your account. And a lot of credit unions are staying open late, so you can go right to your new local credit union and deposit the cashier’s check from BofA or Chase or Wells Fargo or whatever. Read more on Saturday Is Bank Transfer Day, So What Will You (We) Do?…
  post-racial america

Black Man Arrested, Fired From Job For Trying To Cash Large Check

Post-apocalyptic America has a few rules still, like “stay out of trailer parks at night,” and “personal mobility scooters are hilarious, in every context.” Did we have to say that? NO, on to the real issue: America also has some very awful rules, like “automatically assume a black man walking into a bank with a check probably stole it.” Ikenna Njoku is a black man who walked into his Chase bank to cash a check for $8,463 that Chase itself sent him as part of a tax rebate for being a first time home buyer. But per the rule, the teller found it suspicious the he was not poor or unemployed, and also black. Read more on Black Man Arrested, Fired From Job For Trying To Cash Large Check…