Fine then: What is your name? Do you know what your name is? CAN YOU ANSWER THIS QUESTION? [Oklahoma Council of Public Affairs]

Aww, helpful orange minority leader John Boehner drew a pretty picture proving that health care in the United States is complicated. Others have already noted that if John Boehner cares about simplicity above all else, then he should throw his weight behind a single payer system. But Wonkette subtext operative “Kathleen” unearths the real scandal here: under the current draft of the House Health Plan, all doctors would be BLACK WOMEN, and all “consumers” would be AMERICAN (white), and the “health insurance exchange” would just be a Ponzi scheme to collect reparations cash. [Washington Monthly]

Well here’s some good news for Republicans: they’ve finally rid the party of all non-Real Americans! ES UN ROAD TO RECOVERY? And besides, just look at how liberal this liberal poll is. Aside from “Nonwhite” — wtf, like Martians or something?? — it doesn’t even show the trend with Hispanic Mexicans! Surely the GOP has made huge gains in this demographic, hmm? [Balloon Juice]

My stars, what a fun Wonkette Weekend we are having! We decided to start posting everyday through the election after you people kept e-mailing us about how we are lazy. Well fine, you’ve got your weekend “phunnies,” lunatics, and it comes at the expense of Jesus sending us to Hell for working on a Sunday, so, um, yeah, there’s that, right? Not that any of you Muslims would understand. HA, we joke, we love posting (??) so much that we will now take a thorough look at the state of the Electoral Map for the first time in a while, for those of you who get off on incomprehensible math-porn. MORE »

This weekend, the Republican National Committee held its “winter retreat” in the woodlands of the Pacific coast, also known as Los Angeles’ Beverly Wilshire Hotel. Karl Rove was there, as was the guy who runs the RNC… [checks Wikipedia]… Robert Duncan. While they all agreed that Hillary Clinton would be easily beatable, because she’s a Rodham, they had fun devising “main strategic attacks” for a Barack Obama nomination. What five points did they outline in their Power Point presentation, and what does each mean? A Wonkette Chart(tm) explains all, after the jump. MORE »

Smug Obamatards might think their guy is the president already, but a little somebody called “the state of Ohio” apparently has a different opinion. Hillary Clinton is ahead in three major polls. [Real Clear Politics]

What Hillary needs to win: less racism last month. What Barack needs to win: four extra days; more Clinton racism last month. [Pollster]

You may remember wheel-chaired muscular dystrophy patient Clayton Holton from that time he asked Mitt Romney to legalize medical pot, and Mitt Romney was all like, “This is me walking in the other direction now.” But Holton’s quest for legal pot doesn’t end there; he’s also been taped asking Hillary Clinton (”we’ll look into it, sweet cheeks”), John McCain (”I know what you want, and no”), Ron Paul (”BWAH bwah superhighway BWAH”) and others. Holton is part of Granite Staters, which advocates — here comes a shocker — legalizing medical marijuana. Their website gives grades to each candidate’s stance on the matter, which basically splits into Democrats getting A’s and Republicans F’s. We aren’t so sure about this report card, and its… its damn liberal grade inflations! So after the jump, a Wonkette chart wades through the Granite Staters’ easy grading. MORE »

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