charlie crist
Charlie Crist Tells Hugging Dude: You Know What I’m Here For
Presented without comment: “A few hours after expressing a desire to meet the Fort Pierce pizza parlor owner who hugged and lifted President Obama on Sunday, Crist showed up at Van Duzer’s business this afternoon and, according to Van Duzer, said, ‘You know what I’m here for.’” [PalmBeachPost, via Politico]
Charlotte Day Two Maybe: Dave Weigel Is A Crazy Bitch
Sorry we did not blog at you yesterday; we left Jim here in charge at the house (la Casita de Wonkadonk) and went into the Charlotte wilds in search of our badges (WE NEED STINKING BADGES), and then we ate a bunch of acid with one of our dudes from Boston (we have dudes from [...]
How Gay Is Charlie Crist’s Extortion Scandal, On A Scale From One To Very Gay?
Sometimes when you’re watching reruns of not-so-old TV shows, you wonder about what ever happened to the bit players. I mean, sure, Joey from Friends will never have to work a day in his life again (which is good, because he probably won’t), but what if you’re one of the ladies who played his interchangeable [...]
Charlie Crist Now Making Local TeeVee Ads, Working For Ambulance Chaser
UPDATED 1:11 pm Look, it’s “Attorney Charlie Crist,” that orange guy who was going to be running for president this year if he had only decided to keep his job as governor. He would like you to visit his e-mail account (but he didn’t give us the password?) and tell him about the time your [...]
Lawsuit Forces Charlie Crist To Make Humiliating YouTube Apology Video
If he hadn’t tried for the Senate, Charlie Crist might be running for president right now. Instead, as the result of that David Byrne lawsuit, he looks like he was kidnapped while out selling his wedding ring at a pawn shop and has been forced at gunpoint to read off a list of demands in [...]
Charlie Crist Pardons Jim Morrison For Some Reason
Governor-for-now Charlie Crist has basically just been sitting around wondering what he can still do with his Executive Power in Florida, now that his career in politics is probably over forever because he’s not CRAZY enough to be a Republican, especially in Florida. (Jeb Bush wouldn’t last 10 minutes in today’s Florida, either.) So anyway, [...]
Charlie Crist Earns Coveted Steroid Nut/Vaccine Denialist Endorsements
The Senate three-way in Florida: Still happening, we guess! Rubio and orange-fleshed moderate Charlie Crist and whatshisname, the other guy, are duking it out for the right to a job that will allow them to get the hell out of Florida eight months out of the year. Charlie has a particularly tough task because he [...]
Charlie Crist Loves the Gays, Lives On a Beach
Charlie Crist knows he does not want gay marriage in Florida. But there was that time when it seemed like he didn’t believe in gay marriage at all. Now he is “rolling out” his new policy on the gays, and he is once again against all gay marriage. But he thinks they should have hospital [...]
Charlie Crist Likes To Make Anagrams and Kendrick Meek Is On a Boat(s)
It’s ad season in the “best Senate race ever,” that one in Florida. SO WHAT IS EVERYONE’S POSITION ON THE MOSK? They don’t say, even though that is the most important Florida issue you can talk about in Florida ads.
Charlie Crist Admits He Is Confused About His Stance On Gay Marriage
Charlie Crist is having a lot of problems lately with this whole idea of “being forced to take positions on issues.” It is hard to do such things when you want to occupy an invisible center of the political spectrum that does not exist when everyone is dissolving into two camps that just throw poop [...]
Charlie Crist Having Trouble Figuring Out What His Health Care Position Is
It is difficult, sometimes, to remember what your beliefs are when you have shifted many of them in a ploy to grab up some of the middle ground of the electorate. And thus in the same day we have Charlie Crist saying he would have voted for health care reform, we have Charlie Crist saying [...]
Liveblogging Florida & Arizona, the Sun Cancer States!
Ha ha, so a couple of your Wonkette contributors were jabbering all day about doing liveblogging, and your editor said okay great but don’t kill yourselves because these “couple of primary/runoff things somewhere” do not exactly leave the nation or even the Wonkette Readership spellbound. And then of course nobody showed up to liveblog at [...]
Mark Penn To Shove Money Into His Pants For Charlie Crist
Oh, this is fun: Mark Penn, Hillary Clinton’s former fat Komodo dragon advisor, and “Bride of Mark Penn” are hosting a fundraiser at their Washington home for Charlie Crist. Charlie Crist, you remember, used to be a Republican, and Mark Penn used to be a pile of lizard poop upon which some nuclear waste leaked. [...]
Wonkette To Accept Chinese Buyout, Become ‘People’s Glorious Political Sexytime Humor Blog’
Oh, Elena Kagan confirmation hearings, you finished before you could even really get started! Where were your memorable moments, your lunatic grandstanding, your insights into softball strategy? All we have is some outraged testimony from some military guys saying that at Harvard Law Kagan made them “use the back door by the garbage” (i.e., by [...]
Old Jews Will Make Billionaire Jeff Greene Your New Florida Senator
Florida Democratic Senate candidate Jeff Greene has landed himself a lengthy profile in the scummy Weigel-less Washington Post today. Who is Jeff Greene? He is not, as far as we can tell, related to Alvin Greene. But he’s best friends with Mike Tyson, he’s sworn enemies with Ron Howard, and he has a good shot [...]
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