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Posts Tagged ‘charles schumer’

RUMORS ON THE INTERNETS

Jesus Died For You, But He Totally Could Have Put You In A Headlock If He Hadn’t

Monday, October 26th, 2009
  • If the Phillies win the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter a cheesecake and Kristen Gillibrand. BUT, if the Phillies lose the World Series, Charles Schumer will give Arlen Specter Kristen Gillibrand. Quite the wager. [The Caucus]
  • Remember that part in the Bible — Chapter 3? — when Jesus decides to clothesline a downtrodden leper, who only wanted a glass of water and maybe a few soothing words to ease his suffering? That was really out of character, but a superb plot twist. [True/Slant: Harmon Leon]
  • Gorbachev talks about the Nobel Peace Prize, Barack Obama, and his upcoming solo album. [The Cable]
  • You have every right to be angry that Columbia students made a very offensive rap about FOX news, but at least be happy that you are not flushing $80,000 down the toilet in J-school. [Gatway Pundit]
  • Hezbollah cooked up a two-ton bowl of hummus and then invited the entire Middle East to the grandest hummus party in recorded history, while Israel — who for obvious reasons was not invited — sat at home and sulked. [Matt Yglesias]

PRINT PRINT PRINT

Friday, January 30th, 2009

Huh?OR NOT: “Sen. Charles Schumer, a New York Democrat, said on Thursday that some experts think creating a ‘bad bank’ to buy toxic assets could require as much as $4 trillion.” These experts include Charles Schumer’s major donors on Wall Street, as well as Charles Schumer’s major donors on Wall Street. It’s kind of hilarious that this guy is more or less the most corrupt politician in America, at least according to the notational value of deals in imaginary money he brokers, but, well, he’s a character! [Reuters]


HOWARD DEAN

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008
  • HOWARD DEAN MADE A FUNNY: “‘Wait until Schumer stops talking,’ Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid suggested to Dean. ‘That’ll be a long wait,’ Dean replied.” [Washington Post]

DEMOCRATS

Beloved Red Muppet Upstages Charles Schumer

Tuesday, January 30th, 2007

Charles Schumer (D-Not Hillary) has a great new book about how the Democrats suck. He did a signing at some rich-people place in Nassau County last weekend, but his moment of glory was forever ruined by Elmo the Muppet from Sesame Street. MORE »


DEMOCRATS

Hillary Makes It Official, Ruins Schumer’s Chinese Dinner

Saturday, January 20th, 2007

Chuck 'n Hill, lookin' scary! - WonketteIn a cruel attempt to rob Bill Richardson of his single weekend as a serious presidential candidate — until the inevitable scandals regarding Barack Obama’s attempts to convert space aliens to Islam — Hillary Clinton has made it official. MORE »


SENATE

It’s Like the Odd Couple, But With Four Slovenly Lawmakers

Thursday, January 18th, 2007

'After eating this crap, let's go raise taxes!' - WonketteWhat could be funnier than four slovenly men who hang out in their run-down old house eating cereal in their piss-stained boxer shorts? They’re lawmakers in the new Democratic majority, so they can raise your taxes and send you off to die in Iraq! MORE »


CAMPAIGNING

Daily Briefing: Al Gore, Hot or Not?

Monday, May 22nd, 2006
  • White House strategists believe the midterm elections offer Bush an opportunity to “rewrite” and “recover” his presidency. Republicans plan to focus on immigration, tax cuts, and homeland security and will “frame the election as a contest with Democrats, confident that voters unhappy with the president will find the opposition even more distasteful.” [WP]
  • The GOP is seeing losses “in morale, in fundraising and in early election contests.” [LAT]
  • Rep. William Jefferson (D-La.) was caught on tape accepting $100,000 from an investor-turned-informant. [WP, NYT]
  • Alberto Gonzales says the government can legally prosecute journalists for publishing classified information. [NYT, WP]
  • Patrick Fitzgerald is trying to prove that Scooter Libby lied based on his knowledge of Valerie Plame’s classified status. [WP]
  • Laura Bush is “leveraging her popularity” to boost Republican candidates where her husband can’t. [USAT]
  • Senators expect immigration compromise this year. [LAT]

MORE »


CAMPAIGNING

Gossip Roundup: Vintage Twins

Tuesday, May 9th, 2006
  • Reliable Source: Attorney for Robert Steinbuch threatens to add Ana Marie Cox as a co-defendant in his suit against Jessica Cutler. . . Murdoch will host a summer fundraiser for Hillary. . . Mort Kondracke marries Marguerite Sallee, the CEO of America’s Promise. . . Bush twins are spotted buying vintage clothes. [WP]
  • Heard on the Hill: Michael Scanlon will be awarded his diploma from John Hopkins. . . Josh Bolten went to a Nationals game with Bo Derek. . . Woman spotted with Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) is confirmed to be his girlfriend. . . [Roll Call]
  • Under the Dome: Fundraiser for Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.) hosted by Mort Zuckerman features Sen. Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) and former Sen. Al D’Amato (R-N.Y.). . . Wolf Blitzer, Chris Matthews, Petra Nemcova, and Rep. Tom McMillen (D-Md.) showed up for the opening of The Collection at Chevy Chase. . . “Campaign chair” for Rep. Jerry Weller (R-Ill.) caught using a government-issued American Express card at a strip club. [The Hill]

DEMOCRATS

Daily Briefing: ‘Patchwork of Generosity and Austerity’

Tuesday, February 7th, 2006

* Gonzales testifies for seven hours about warrentless eavesdropping; defends legality of program but largely avoids providing specifics. Gonzales: “Think about the reaction, the public reaction that has arisen in some quarters about this program. If the president had authorized domestic surveillance as well, even though we’re talking about al Qaeda-to-al Qaeda, I think the reaction would have been twice as great. And so there was a judgment made that this was the appropriate line to draw in ensuring the security of our country and the protection of the privacy interests of Americans.” [WP, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Bush proposes $2.77t budget that would cut funds from most federal agencies while increasing military funding by 7%; deficit would be record $423b. The “patchwork of generosity and austerity reflects the priorities of Bush, who has defined his administration’s central goal as combating terrorist threats.” [WP, NYT, NYT, USAT, WT]
* Budget could be “risky election-year strategy” for Republican lawmakers. Rep. Paul Ryan (R-Wis.): “Politically, the right thing to do this year is also the popular thing to do, and that is to cut spending.” [LAT, NYT, USAT]
* Budget predictions depend on tax overhaul, an end to the war in Iraq, and no new funds for the Gulf Coast. [WP, NYT, USAT, USAT]
* Republicans lack unity over eavesdropping issue. Sen. Specter (R-Pa.): “I think they are seeing concerns in a lot of directions from all segments: Democrats and Republicans in all shades of the political spectrum.” [WP]

MORE »


DEMOCRATS

Abramoffukkah Comes to Montana

Wednesday, December 28th, 2005

burns1.jpgOver at The Fix, Chris Cillizza is reporting on recent polling that shows the Senate race between incumbent Republican Conrad Burns and his likely opponents is tightening.

Head-to-head matchups between Burns and his two main Democratic adversaries have narrowed since Mason-Dixon last polled in the state in May. Burns leads state Auditor John Morrison (D) 46 percent to 40 percent, down considerably from the 49 percent to 35 percent lead the senator held in May. Burns carried a more comfortable 49 percent to 35 percent edge over state Senate president Jon Tester (D), though that margin too has shrunk from the 24-point bulge Burns held in May.

MORE »


CHARLES SCHUMER

If You’re Wondering About the Eerie Quiet from Charles Schumer’s Office…

Friday, December 16th, 2005

schumer.jpgIt’s a real shame that the shit hit the fan on the whole NSA espionage story today, because we learn that Schumer’s Communication Director Izzy Klein sent out a blast email this morning that regretfully announced that their email system was going to be offline throughout today and possibly into the weekend. As Klein put it: “In any case - think of this as an early Hanukkah, Christmas, or Kwanzaa (or Chrismukkah for some of you) present from me to you.” MORE »