March 8, 2014
Carrion-feeding HLN anchor Nancy Grace is not one bit happy about this upcoming pugilistic contest between acquitted teen-shooter George “Sweet Florida Justice” Zimmerman and rapper person “DMX,” who sounds like an additive you’d find in cough syrup. Grace, whose career consists of walking viewers through the sordid details of crimes — for educational purposes, of […]
(Breaking: See Schadenfreude-Filled Update at end of post) Welcome to all our Wonkettarian brothers and sisters. Our Inspirational Verse today comes from the Book of Chuck Jones and the Testament of Daffy, who sayeth, “After all, it was me or him, and obviously, it couldn’t be me. It’s a simple matter of logic. I’m not […]
Former wunderkind editor and Number One Zombie Princess Di Fangirl Tina Brown has had a Very Bad Week. First came Buzzfeed’s report that Barry Diller will finally push her out on her toned and shapely bottom, and now the New York Post has decided to publish a scurrilous report, titled “Tina Brown’s Charity Gave Out […]
Who is dying today, besides all of us? To name three, as writers do, it’s the bees, the ice, and Simpsons man Sam Simon! Have you heard about the bees? It’s no big deal, they’re just dying because all the poisons we use to make our food seem to be bad for bees, in that […]
We will begin this post by asking you a variation of the thing we always ask you, which is: “does it surprise you that a disproportionate amount of rich people are dicks?” And of course it doesn’t, we’re used to it by now and have more or less adjusted to the new status quo of […]
You know that one Onion story that’s nearly mandatory in any discussion of the general awesomeness of Old Handsome Joe Biden, right? (Frankly, we doubt we even needed to link to it, but it’s a habit by now.) You probably also know that Biden knows about the meme, and thinks it’s “hilarious,” right? You might […]
If I’m Ann Romney (AND I AM), I worry about Mitt’s latest tax return, because he just faked a higher tax rate than he should have actually paid … and it’s still ridiculously low. Mitt Romney’s 14.1 percent effective federal tax rate in 2011 would’ve been lower if he’d deducted all of his charitable contributions […]
Is this the most masterful bit of spin in world history? Does it beat, say, explaining why how you dropped 20 points in three days means your opponent should get out of the race? YES. IT DOES. Here is His Lord High Hairgel Mittens of Romney explaining that he wants to keep his tithing between […]
Do you live in the Washington DC metro area and enjoy hipster irony such as “playing dodgeball,” on your weekend, when you should really be at home meditating on the emptiness of your life? Well, by all means you should play dodgeball for charity on March 11. Get your loser political/lobbyist/think tank/junior staffer friends together […]
We usually click “delete all” on the marketing press releases that flood the Wonkette Tips Line each day, but this Veterans Day Charity Auction thing to help veterans mauled and disfigured by Donald Rumsfeld’s murderous oil-company wars sounded kind of special: “Former Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld is auctioning the opportunity for a winning bidder […]
Haha, here is the best argument ever made for shutting down the entire U.S. government bureaucracy: a Maryland county inspector fined a group of children $500 for selling lemonade to raise money for a children’s cancer charity, because these small freeloaders did not have a permit. No permit, no cure for cancer, children!
Even the famous picture magazine National Geographic has a profile of DC as a fun-city-where-you-can-do-fun-things, all thanks to those earnest twenty-somethings and The Real World and Top Chef, etc. So perhaps this would be a good time to mention things you can do in the city that help make the world a better place? Besides, […]
Fine, fine, we will post this. Bush Junior and Dollar Bill Clinton are in Haiti, which is a good thing.
Journopalooza is an event happening this Friday in here in DC where journalists will get together and sing to raise money for THEMSELVES, which isn’t nearly as good as, say, raising money for starving kids in Africa, but whatever, because supporting journalists is fun! As the fine art that is journalism dies and dies and […]