Jenna and Barbara are being tossed out of Argentina — not by the actual country, but by the pissed-off U.S. diplomats in Buenos Aires. MORE »

* The all too brief time we’ll get to spend with Shelly “DraculaCunt” Gibs.
* Turkeys that attack the crotch that feeds them.
* Education Secretary Margaret Spellings and the fact that she couldn’t turn her brain “up to 11,” on Celebrity Jeopardy.
* The trademark chaos that follows the Bush family, young and old and older, everywhere they go.
* The lessons we learned from paperless reporter Karen Feld, even though she assigns a lot of homework.
* Newly paperless Jim VandeHei and John Harris, whose new multi-platform political reporting venture will surely BLOW OUR MINDS.
* That the State Department’s Protocol Office has a sense of humor after all.
* Lou Dobbs, who’s going to save us from the Mexicans, just as soon as he finds his toupee.
* Small town reporters who aren’t afraid to tell it like it is.
* Finally, our undying gratitude goes to Late Night Shots, without whom we might still be wasting time with “hope” for the future of America.

While his daughters wreak havoc on Argentina, President Bush spent the day terrorizing Hawaii — an actual U.S. state!

As Bush left a guest house for breakfast, three police motorcycles escorting his motorcade crashed on slick pavement and rolled onto a grassy median. Officers were seen lying on the grass, and members of the White House medical team — including an ambulance — were cut loose from the motorcade to help, said Dr. Richard Tubb, Bush’s doctor.

Good thing Dr. Tubb was able to help somebody. Bush’s “acting travel office director” was left behind in a Honolulu hospital after he was robbed and savagely beaten Monday night. MORE »