Oh right, “¡felicidades!” to Sonia Sotomayor, who made it official with the Supreme Court today. Chief Justice John Roberts performed the two ceremonies—let’s just say incorrectly—at the Supreme Court building this morning. Sotomayor wore a tasteful suit in a beige hue, and Roberts, as is his wont, wore a black robe. Some of her family members, other Sotomayors, were there too, also in clothes… uh… and that is… pretty much it. Yup. [New York Times]

Rod Blagojevich couldn’t make it himself to today’s Senate swearing-in ceremony — why would he, right? He’s not even a Senator!! — but his Taint, his grimy grimy taint, was omnipresent in the chamber, and it reeked. After thoroughgoing racist Harry “Bull Connor” Reid made a black person leave Capitol Hill due to the color of his skin this morning, the black spectre of Non-Racial Transcendence swept the chamber with Misery, casting a blood red aura of Sin throughout the ancient lair of our bicameral legislature’s more exclusive wing. The Racists went on with their ceremony, which required a blood oath to Dick Cheney. Senator Joe Biden took the oath. Crippled lion Ted Kennedy took the oath. John McCain had a sad. MORE »

Hardest ticket in town, folks. MORE »