census

Well what do you know. Looks like our Kenyan Savior and Guiding Star Of Socialism Barack Mao Tsebama has been up to no good. Or at least, his minions have been snookering and hoodwinking us by manipulating the data. According to the New York Post, the Census Bureau was cooking the books on the monthly […]

Mark this day down as a day that will live forever in infamy: the day we started running out of white people. Via the Atlantic: According to a new Census Bureau report, 12,000 more white Americans died than were born between July 1, 2011 and July 1, 2012. As our James Hamblin notes, white deaths haven’t exceeded […]

The Census released its annual report on poverty yesterday, and there are lots of fun facts to be parsed herein vis a vis who is rich and who is a loser. But first, let’s offer a hearty congrats to America, who is not significantly more infested with Poors than it was last year! AND! Only […]

We knew it, you knew it, they knew it, your crazy white great-uncle who forwards you paranoic chain letters in blue 30-point Comic Sans font with neon green background knew it, and now the U.S. Census knows it: The minorities, they’re popping out babies like the dickens, and the flaccid whites can no longer keep […]

While America nervously fidgets with excitement waiting to hear all the disgusting sexytime harassment details from a new Herman Cain accuser (the press conference hasn’t happened yet, but we promise, uh, it will be gross?), let’s scan some of the crappy “other news” clogging up the Internet and see… oh,  hm, what have we here? […]

If the sunshine seemed a little bit brighter this morning and the air a little bit sweeter, you were surely imagining it — Obama’s new smog allowances keep the skies permanently brown and sour, despite the collapse of American manufacturing. But America is on the rise in one exciting new respect: One of every six […]

The Heritage Foundation is a place for great thinkers, so it comes as no surprise that one of their geniuses has finally, from his little marble Koch cubicle in D.C., solved why Detroit is losing population: it’s full of liberals. Scary! One would think it would be easier for the people of Detroit to just […]

The 2010 Census results have come out, communistically, today, and according to The New York Times, “Bureau officials declared that the United States population had grown to 308,745,538 million over the last decade.” 308,745,538 million? That is 308,745,538,000,000 people! Wow! States in the Midwest and Northeast are losing both seats in the House of Representatives […]

Woo! Party! Fewer than 100,000 jobs were lost last month. High fives, everyone! It could have been 100,000, but it wasn’t! The unemployment rate stayed at 9.6 percent as the overall economy lost 95,000 jobs for the month. Most of that loss came from a decline in government employment, and particularly from a drop in […]

When Barack Obama reveals the census numbers on December 31, it will become clear just how many people have fled the sad, crumbling Midwest, which will result in many Congressional districts there ceasing to exist. Thus, the pathetic battles to govern and/or legislate for these frozen wastelands take on extra importance, as the next two […]

With one of every seven Americans — and 20% of all U.S. children — now officially impoverished, the nation is finally back to the official level of poors last seen during the 1992-1994 recession. Unofficially, the number is at least twice that high, as “experts think that people who are getting by on as much […]

Census Violence ’10 continues with this report about a man in Alaska who threatened his enumerator with a bulldozer. The bulldozer-er was not paranoid, confrontational Todd Palin, but a fellow from Fairbanks named Carey William Bliss who communicates only by fax, when he’s not allegedly making verbal threats against federal employees. No wonder he’s so […]

“Savvy Young Political Journalist” Stephen Robert Morse, who runs the news organization MyTwoCensus.com with Ben Franklin, is only trying to expose all of the crimes being committed by America’s people-counter gulag, the Census Bureau. Doing this important work requires him to file daily Freedom of Information Act requests asking the Bureau for millions of documents. […]

OUR FLOURISHING ECONOMIES  10:10 am June 4, 2010

by Josh Fruhlinger

YOU CAN COUNT ON US: Good news on the job front! 431,000 jobs were added to the economy in May! Even better, 411,000 of these were all-important census jobs, an economic sector crucial for long-term growth. No country will be able to beat America when it comes to counting its citizenry, feeding forms into scantron […]

Last week your Wonkette explained that being a census taker has become the most dangerous job in America. People across the land are grabbing whatever weapon they can find, be it a gun or hatchet, and going psycho-nuts on the poor government workers who are just trying to count the population. Well, it’s another week, […]