census
America Roughly As Infested With Poors As It Was Last Year
The Census released its annual report on poverty yesterday, and there are lots of fun facts to be parsed herein vis a vis who is rich and who is a loser. But first, let’s offer a hearty congrats to America, who is not significantly more infested with Poors than it was last year! AND! Only [...]
Army Of Minority Babies Prepares Crushing Assault On All Whites
We knew it, you knew it, they knew it, your crazy white great-uncle who forwards you paranoic chain letters in blue 30-point Comic Sans font with neon green background knew it, and now the U.S. Census knows it: The minorities, they’re popping out babies like the dickens, and the flaccid whites can no longer keep [...]
Report: America Even Better At Making Its People Poor Than It Thought
While America nervously fidgets with excitement waiting to hear all the disgusting sexytime harassment details from a new Herman Cain accuser (the press conference hasn’t happened yet, but we promise, uh, it will be gross?), let’s scan some of the crappy “other news” clogging up the Internet and see… oh, hm, what have we here? [...]
Heritage Foundation Guy: People Leaving Detroit Because It’s Liberal
The Heritage Foundation is a place for great thinkers, so it comes as no surprise that one of their geniuses has finally, from his little marble Koch cubicle in D.C., solved why Detroit is losing population: it’s full of liberals. Scary! One would think it would be easier for the people of Detroit to just [...]
Census Allocates 6 More Crazy Members of Congress To Florida, Texas
The 2010 Census results have come out, communistically, today, and according to The New York Times, “Bureau officials declared that the United States population had grown to 308,745,538 million over the last decade.” 308,745,538 million? That is 308,745,538,000,000 people! Wow! States in the Midwest and Northeast are losing both seats in the House of Representatives [...]
Democrats Can Rejoice: Fewer Than 100,000 Jobs Lost In September!
Woo! Party! Fewer than 100,000 jobs were lost last month. High fives, everyone! It could have been 100,000, but it wasn’t! The unemployment rate stayed at 9.6 percent as the overall economy lost 95,000 jobs for the month. Most of that loss came from a decline in government employment, and particularly from a drop in [...]
Democrats To Make Michele Bachmann Vanish, With Maps
When Barack Obama reveals the census numbers on December 31, it will become clear just how many people have fled the sad, crumbling Midwest, which will result in many Congressional districts there ceasing to exist. Thus, the pathetic battles to govern and/or legislate for these frozen wastelands take on extra importance, as the next two [...]
44 Million Americans Now Officially Living In Poverty
With one of every seven Americans — and 20% of all U.S. children — now officially impoverished, the nation is finally back to the official level of poors last seen during the 1992-1994 recession. Unofficially, the number is at least twice that high, as “experts think that people who are getting by on as much [...]
New Developments in Anti-Census Violence Weaponry
Census Violence ’10 continues with this report about a man in Alaska who threatened his enumerator with a bulldozer. The bulldozer-er was not paranoid, confrontational Todd Palin, but a fellow from Fairbanks named Carey William Bliss who communicates only by fax, when he’s not allegedly making verbal threats against federal employees. No wonder he’s so [...]
Guy On Internet Will Destroy the Census With FOIA Bombs
“Savvy Young Political Journalist” Stephen Robert Morse, who runs the news organization MyTwoCensus.com with Ben Franklin, is only trying to expose all of the crimes being committed by America’s people-counter gulag, the Census Bureau. Doing this important work requires him to file daily Freedom of Information Act requests asking the Bureau for millions of documents. [...]
YOU CAN COUNT ON US: Good news on the job front! 431,000 jobs were added to the economy in May! Even better, 411,000 of these were all-important census jobs, an economic sector crucial for long-term growth. No country will be able to beat America when it comes to counting its citizenry, feeding forms into scantron [...]
A Children’s Treasury — and Matching Game! — of Census Violence
Last week your Wonkette explained that being a census taker has become the most dangerous job in America. People across the land are grabbing whatever weapon they can find, be it a gun or hatchet, and going psycho-nuts on the poor government workers who are just trying to count the population. Well, it’s another week, [...]
CNN Wingnuts Furious At Bill Press
Old liberal person Bill Press yesterday asked Robert Gibbs about “CNN’s” Erick Erickson, who would love to threaten census workers with guns. This gave Robert Gibbs an opportunity to rip the dickens out of Erick Erickson and wingnuts, and since CNN MUST NEVER APPEAR too far to either side of the debate, they have now [...]
Hmm Could This Whole Anti-Government TeaBag Mob Backfire On Republicans?
It seems kind of crazy to think that encouraging a bunch of ignorant, racist, paranoid fucktards to hate the United States Government might actually backfire on the Republicans who would like to be in charge of that very same United States Government they’re encouraging a bunch of ignorant, racist, paranoid fucktards to rise up against, [...]
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