Wonkette

Do you know who Lou Dobbs, the orange-headed anti-Mexican elitist, hates more than The Illegals? Cotton-pickin’ politicians such as Condoleezza Rice! You see, “cotton-pickin’” refers to people who pick cotton, and is a term of derision used by angry old men of a certain age who prefer arcane insults over nice all-purpose Anglo-Saxon adjectives. Fortunately for Dobbs, he stops himself midway through this terrible slur and avoids touching that tar baby. [YouTube via TPM]

New York Times‘ health care columnist Paul Krugman wrote a column today, it being a Friday and such, and it’s about our flourishing economy. But the real Paul Krugman, the whiny ex-Nobel contender we’ve enjoyed so thoroughly this Democratic primary season, offered his juiciest insight in a brief blog post this morning: one time the Times edited him! Since when does the Times edit Krugman (or anyone else)? MORE »

Oh hey those FASCISTS at FOX censored SALLY FIELD. We figure she owes them big-time because jesus christ that’s one crazy lady. These awards shows are on a short broadcast delay so that when whatever crazy actor starts screaming “FUCK JESUS” it can be bleeped so poor people won’t lose their faith or whatever — the Flying Nut apparently said “goddamned war.” Anyway, if your MOM RULED THE WORLD it would kind of suck, too. Also, this is apparently from last night. Sally Field’s still alive? Did they finally make “Smokey and the Bandit IV?”

Sally Field, Ray Romano bleeped at Emmys [Reuters]

Some people called “The Thomas Jefferson Center for the Protection of Free Expression” have released their list of honorees for this year’s charmingly-named “muzzle awards.” The awards are for “calling attention to some of the more egregious or ridiculous affronts to free expression that occurred in the preceding year,” and there’s no shortage of outage in the list. Take, for example, the chilling tale of the Maine Bureau of Liquor Enforcement. MORE »

America’s proudest employees — the people of the Department of Housing and Urban Development — got a rude surprise yesterday when they tried to catch up on housing and urban development developments by reading Wonkette. MORE »

Again with the military blocking Wonkette so our fighting forces won’t be exposed to inane exchanges from Late Night Shots. A Wonkette operative at a U.S. Army base in Europe sent us this shocking evidence. We asked the soldier to try some other political sites and report back, but he hasn’t answered because the Army killed him, probably. MORE »

The state that most fears the Black Man having sexual intercourse with the White Gal has yet another Traditional Southern Values scandal, and this time it involves deep fryers … and little American flags, which were tastily battered in with egg, flour and pepper before being dropped in hot peanut oil. MORE »

Nick Gillespie, right. The biggest biceps in blogging, next to K-Lo. [Photo: Liz Gorman] MORE »

A couple of Marines told us last week that various blogs of the non-Bush-worshiping variety were being blocked at some U.S. bases in Iraq, despite the ready availability of pro-Bush blogs. And next thing you know, Hill staffers are hitting us up for details and the sad tale is on CNN. MORE »

We were hoping somebody would ask this question at Rumsfeld’s press conference today, but no such luck, as usual. (Wonkette doesn’t even have the Pentagon clearance for Craigslist booty calls.)

Here’s what little we know: Late Friday, a crazy six-alarm fire gutted the three-story Building 54, where the 902nd Military Intelligence Group did its special work. That work included infiltrating a group of Quaker pacifists, running allegedly-banned Total Information Awareness and TALON surveillance monstrosities that DARPA was forced to hide somewhere else, and conducting “counterintelligence activities in support of Army commanders and to protect Army forces, secrets and technologies by detecting, identifying, neutralizing and exploiting foreign intelligence services and international terrorist threats.”

We’ll see if this has anything to do with that Pentagon vs. CIA vs. NSA secret war we keep hearing about, after the jump. ECNATSNEPPAH SI ECNO …

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